We are back in Belize, where the Shahs Resort by Bravo is apparently super far inland. Who goes to Belize without going to the beach? Yes, San Ignacio is pretty much on the border of Guatemala.
I am also appalled not just by Shervin’s aggressive behavior toward GG, but by the fact that none of the other men told him to back off. I guess when the other men are Mike and Reva that will not happen. But isn’t that Nima guy her cousin? Yes, yes he is.
The next morning, GG and Shervin get into it again. GG’s eyes are super dark. She has on eye shadow but is that eye shadow underneath too? Shervin’s confessionals show him saying he is trying to be a good friend to GG by telling her to cut back on her smoking and drinking since she is suffering from RA. First of all, attacking her and screaming at her and acting like Reza’s little do boy is not the way to do that. He cannot be that stupid. He knows his script and he has no problem following it. Because, asshole. This is the guy that stood up for Mike on WWHL by lying and saying he didn’t cheat on Jessica. He didn’t start a fight with Mike about his poor decisions. Somehow they manage to hug it out. For now.
For the love of God, can Tommy just show up already? I am so tired these frantic phone calls.
In our first Reza confessional, he calls his good friend who has a terrible disease “Bitchface” several times and then laughs.
Finally, Tommy arrives. I’ve never been so happy to see him. MJ was ecstatic. Tommy wanted to stay home because his favorite team, the Mets were playing in the World Series. He tells he that he loves her more than the Mets! This would be spectacular! Here is why I don’t stay in relationships. If you fly across the continent to see me and tell me that you decided to come because you love me more than the Mets, the first thing I would do is Google to see when the games were played and if it was over. The Royals beat the Mets in the fifth match up on November 1, 2015 to clinch the series.
The shahs began filming the series in Belize on November 2, 2015. This is November 3, 2015. I would dump him for this. We might make up a few weeks later. But it’s all very black or white to me. He stayed behind to watch the World Series.
Finally, a producer corrects these people about saying they are on an island.
Reza, Mike, Shervin and Asa are relaxing at the resort when Reza announces that Jessica told him that Mike cheated on her. Mike says that Jessica is just believing what other people say and that she saw something on his phone she thought proved it and that is why
she’s dating the rapey guy now they are taking a little break. The producers point out to Mike in his confessional that Jessica says he was unfaithful to her a lot. He replies “These are all allegations. The entire world knows I’m married. I didn’t keep it a secret.” Sherv seems to not believe Jessica. Reza and Asa know better. I heard that all of them froze Mike out when this happened in real life.
Asa and Reza stay behind for massages and MJ and Tommy stay behind for makeup sex. So of course Reza and Asa bust in on the lovers and try to pull their covers off. Reza would also like to know if “white people fuck to Jewel.” UGH. MJ was videotaping their sex. Double UGH. Asa wants to take naked photos of them for a book on naked couples she is making. Triple UGH.
Meanwhile, GG and the guys go on a hike that ends with some sort of tubing trip through the caves. I can’t with the bats. I love frogs though.
Reza and Asa are hellbent on exposing Mike for what he is done that they call Jessica and she tells then that she saw messages from one girl back and forth with Mike that were explicit and inappropriate spanning over a long period of time including after they were married. It seems that he had a lengthy relationship with one of the girls. That would be in addition to all of the other chicks that were all over the Internet writing books and telling their stories. There was a falling out between Mike and the main players on this show after this revelation was revealed. And it was likely revealed long before this trip.
Reza confronts Mike one on one as soon as he returns. Mike says Jessica is lying. She’s not. Mike says Reza gets his thrills from schadenfreude. Mike is furious that Reza is doing this on camera. He attempts to stop filming. He forgets that he is stilled wearing a microphone even though he is behind closed doors. He can be heard cussing and talking about how bad he fucked up. Mike storms off to Shervin’s casita. As I watch Reza try to speed waddle after him like a three hundred pound 80 year old man, I am reminded that his reaction when he saw Tommy arrive was to mock his “big beer belly.” Mike gets a cigarette and tries to run off for a private moment to smoke it away from the cameras, but production is not having that. He once again denies cheating on Jessica in his confessional saying, “I’m stupid, but I’m not that fucking stupid.”
Yes you are.
He eventually admits it to producers and Reza. He says, “This mistake was catastrophic.”
Somewhere, Mike Shouhed is shitfaced.