This post is going to be later than I’d like because the boss says I have to fucking work tonight. And yes, I am my own boss. Sadly, RHONY’s episode tonight with Bethenny’s uterus falling out on the Home Goods sales floor must take priority over the best show of the summer returning. I’ve got less than an hour before I must tear myself away and take care of that bloody mess before returning to finish. And screw CBS for not providing us with a cast picture!
I am so excited! This will not be a real recap because I don’t want to take my eyes off the TV. More like lots of random misspelled blatherings.
By the way, Corey is friends with Clay. Josea is supposedly friends with “the brother who shall not be named.” I really want Glenn to do well because he’s a superfan and I am #TeamOldPeople
Did I mention how much I love Paul of the Beard? Yes, yes I did. I like Bridgette more than I thought I would. I hope that Paul murders Bronte in her sleep on the first night. I hope Victor manages to screw at least half the girls before they figure it out and there is a huge catfight resulting in many ejections. I think they recently inserted this comment from Corey about a potential bromance with Victor after all the social media backlash caused by Big Brother diehards investigating the hell out of everyone and finding several tweets from 2012 where he called people he didn’t like fags. This is reminiscent of Caleb’s season where he started out with a similar issue and when the feeds came on he was in the bed with “the brother who shall not be named TBWSNBN and the crazy black guy of his season whose name escapes me.
Fuck you Paulie for coming for Paul right way. I am going to have a hard time liking Glenn if he keeps saying “Boogie Down Brooklyn.” Michelle is already on to Tiffany. I want Michelle and Paul to work together.
DA’VONNE IN THE HOUSE! I am so happy she is back! I love her. I love Nicole! Never liked Frank. I am not that excited for James.
Oh Paul, Josea and Zakiyah? Really? I need you not to screw this up. I do love all of your confessionals though. I need you with Da’vonne and Michelle!
Da’vonne is already on to Tiffany. She caught on to the twins right away last season. She’s good and I want her to win.
Fuck, time to go to work. BRB.
I’m Back Bitches! OMG I just realize BB has finally gotten up to date and is using those necklace microphones like they use on Dating Naked, and the knock off show Glass Houses and such. But it seems to be only for the guys when they are shirtless. Why?
So we have four teams
Frank, Michelle,Paulie, & Bridgette #TeamCategory4
Day, Paul, Zakiyah, & Josea these three had a pact together against Day! #Irony #TeamBigSister
James, Natalie, Victor,& Bronte #TeamUnicorn
Nicole, Corey, Tiffany, & Glenn #TeamFreakazoids
I read that the Pandora’s box room I going to be used for something different this year and I think that the winning team will win immunity for the week in that room where they will live together. I hope it is Day’s team so they can see how good she is at this game. They need her. I wonder if she tried to influence the picks because clearly her three people picked their alliance of three.
The first time to fall out is a have not already! The second team to fall will get a mystery punishment, the second place team wins cash and the first place team wins immunity FOR TWO EVICITONS! That is huge! Safeville is apparently the new Pandora’s box. I love it. Come on TEAM DAY!
And someone is going home this week! Like tomorrow!
Crap my team is off first and are have nots! Look for an eating disorder story fro Bronte this season. But she was the last girl to fall! Frank’s team gets a mystery punishment, Nicole’s team gets cash and James team win immunity. James team is hella strong. That team was the last one with four players still in it. They had the best girl and the best guy in the challenge and James is a social game player. As for Natalie, all the guys want to be the first to screw her. Team James is a MONSTER TEAM.
Fuck, Da’vonne’s team is going against her. BAD. Please send Frank home! Sending Day home would ruin my whole season! It’s almost my birthday! PLEASE BIG BROTHER GODS! But if you don’t grant my wish I understand. Because Da’vonne has no business with that much weave on her damn head for all these challenges. Ain’t she a single mama? She should be rocking some kinda Halle Berry shit up on that head of hers.
I may kill myself.
Day’s team named themselves Team Big Sister. For the other names see above. I’ll just be over her slitting my wrists. Damn Day, you are so going first. At least you are not on Team Unicorn. Although they are the winning team. sigh.
Tiffany tells Michelle she thinks she is Nicole’s sister. She says nah, but she thinks she is Vanessa’s sister. She admits it. Michelle promises to keep the secret but Day already knows and Tiff thinks that she is lying about being Nicole’s sister.
Wait this is weird. There are three parts to HOH. The winning team from round one also goes to Safeville. The winning team from round two also goes to Safeville. Round three is a team playing individually. The loser is evicted the other three get to select an HOH amongst themselves.
Okay this cannot stand all summer because there is not enough possibility for producer manipulation.
FUCK! My team is sucking.
Corey and Nicole showmance is brewing.
Da’vonne is already crying and complaining. BUCK UP DAY! DAMMIT!
THANK YOU JESUS! TEAM BIG SISTER IS SAFE!
Sorry Glenn, you are going home. #TeamOldPeople is done.
Now I just need for Paul and Day to get on the same damn page!
AND I NEED MY LIVE FEEDS!