I thought about skipping this recap but I spent the morning getting a tooth I managed to shatter over the weekend extracted. So now I have something in common with Sonja. Though I will be getting a permanent implant not a fake canine tooth from Banjo’s veterinarian. I do have a sudden urge to go to Wal*Mart in my PJs and bedroom slippers though. Anyway, let’s see if I missed anything last night.
Andy asks Sonja about her relationship with Tom and reminds her that Luann said it was a one night stand. Sonja takes office and says, “With Sonja Morgan, it’s never just once!” Which sounds weird to me. I guess that is a good thing? But wouldn’t a normal person say something like, ” Tom and I dated on a few occasions.” Of something less vagina focused? Sonja says they have known each other for ten years and they hook up frequently. He’s single, she’s single, he’s about to turn 50 has never been married or had any kids. She implies that they are good friends. So it is interesting that he never mentioned Luann.
I didn’t see Michael sending selfies and texting on the show last night because I was typing. That is kind of sad because this is a real divorce situation. Sonja says she was surprised by the news. I don’t think Sonja really filmed with Jules that much.
Jerry wants to know if Tom has tried out Sonja’s new vagina so that a comparison could be made regarding the procedure. She says she was with him just before Thanksgiving. This tidbit of information may be important later. Sonja says “Now that I’m not with Tom I need to take it for a spin.
I also missed hearing Ramona say “I’m going to be a girl’s girl.” just before she tore out Ramona’s heart and stomped on it with the news about his ex and the gold bracelet. Luann is really good at keeping her cool, but you could tell those blows landed hard. Jerry is adamant that Luann should be upset about the bracelet thing. Why is everyone so upset about the bracelet and skimming over how he calls her everyday expressing her undying love?
Jerry gives his top three moments on RHONY so far. Number three is Luann hula hooping at Bethenny’s Fall Party. Number Two was the Rey and Ramona incident with John at his dry cleaning party. Number one is when Dorinda went off on everyone talking about how she made it nice for them. Jerry does a meanish reenactment of Dorinda and Andy thinks it’s hysterical. Bethenny tweeted that it was the best WWHL ever. And Dorinda tweeted some nice to make it seem like she was okay with it.
Dorinda also tweeted that she stands by her decision about not inviting Sonja to the Berkshires. Ramona says, ” Stop lying! FAKE! I’ve been doing it a longer than you, YOU LIAR!” Andy has said that Sonja does not drink in the clubhouse ever but she seems a bit… loud. And Jerry was kind of skeevy and kissing her shoulder when he was pretending to be creepy Rey. This whole episode has somewhat of an ick factor.
Andy asks Sonja if after she watched she was glad she was not there. She said “No Andy, that is where I was supposed to be. You know, it is a JOB.” Andy gave her the Sweetie routine. “Sweetie, if they don’t want you there…” Clearly, Andy is firmly team Bethenny. He knows full well why Sonja was not there. He saw Bethenny dismiss her from her life at the SkinnyGirl Headquarters. Sonja says she needed to be at the Berkshires so she could talk to Bethenny. Jerry says she should have done like Jill Zarin and just arrived uninvited on a private plane at her own expense. Sonja says she wanted to do that. Apparently, she was not allowed.
Andy says they are all doing water shots on the shotski in honor of Sonja’s sobriety. Sonja is confused. It’s just Andy being a dick. He knows she is still drinking.
Luann tweets, ” Sonja, it was before you stopped drinking. And Tom says it was a one night stand.” Sonja says that is what men say. She says she loves them both and wants them to be happy what does she have to gain by lying? I don’t think she wants them to be happy at all.
Andy has pink eye. That’s highly contagious. Way to go, Andrew.
Sonja says she has given up younger men.
Sonja says that she has not gotten to spend any time with Bethenny. She blames Ramona for getting in Bethenny’s ear. As if Bethenny would listen to Ramona. She also mentions that Ramona came on WWHL and said Sonja was faking her tears when Bethenny went off on her. Sonja is clearly still really angry with Ramona.
Erika Jayne tweeted that she is living for Sonja tonight!
Sonja says the Prosecco is in the warehouse with another 10,000 bottles of the pink to come. She starts exhibiting all of the symptoms of someone who is lying as she says this. She says the restaurant will be open soon. Wait, Tipsy Girl isn’t even open yet? She says people will be able to get it in the bar and at liquor stores. I am not they are really able to distribute yet. And Sonja has nothing to do with the business other than get kickbacks for promoting it.
Sonja realizes suddenly that she is hawking other people’s products and lets us know that her website is back up with the three hundred dollar white jogging pants and formal gowns.