It’s time for me to get on this Shahs of Sunset recap. I played hooky last night and had a party of one watching Miss USA and just had a blast. Then I was awake all night again. I should point out that Twitter is very quiet after 3 am. Apparently the rest of the world has jobs that don’t let them sleep in as long as they want on a rainy Monday morning. So I basically have been talking to myself on Twitter for the past two nights/mornings.
We pick up in the CGIed cement cell where a wedding has just taken place and both grooms dash off for their honeymoon. Mike Shouhed is shitfaced. Jefferson and the other guests around the table seem irritated. And the group breaks up to leave.
Mike commandeers the limo to drunk dial Jessica while everyone else is standing on the curb tired and ready to leave. MJ is drunk. Actually everyone is drunk. Where is Asa? She seems to have disappeared into thin air. Also, there was a long limo in the beginning of the scene and then suddenly they are squished in the back of an SUV . This is some really bad editing. MJ and Tommy and GG are all in the back of a small vehicle and MJ is having drunken arguments with everyone. Tommy tries to shut her up and she tries to get out of the moving vehicle.
Reza and Adam go to their house and everyone else goes to the rental house. I still don’t understand why they didn’t have the wedding at one of these properties. And by everyone, I mean MJ, GG, Tommy and Mike. Where is Asa? Did they leave her in Cell Block C? Oh it looks like Asa, Jefferson and Reza’s cousin stayed at Reza and Adams house. I am so distracted by the two camps I can’t get in to the episode.
Just as I am being fascinated by Reza’s male cousin’s “blouse” Reza pops in for a talking head making fun of it. It does sort of looks like a little girls dress. Also, all the girls, including Asa have so much charcoal on their eyebrows they are soon to be included in the sharpie eyebrow posts on Pinterest. There is some sort of argument about nothing between MJ and Mike. I am just looking at everyone’s eyebrows. It seems that Mike and MJ make up and everyone heads home. But not before the nineteenth talking head from Reza about how he finally has learned to love someone. Maybe next he can work on his misogyny issues.
Back in Beverly Hills, Reza joins Asa and her friend Luenell for dinner. What WHAT? Suddenly Asa is friends with Luenell? And Luenell who has been riding Nene’s ass for her “comedy tour” because “those reality people” just get everything handed to them is now on my TV on a reality show? Seriousl? Luenell? I wonder if this would have made more since if I was drunk blogging it last night. Oh wait. It’s about to get even more hypocritical. Luenell is pretending to know Asa so that she can be introduced to Reza because he wants to do standup. Ah. I remember now. That is what we must endure next on this Season of Reza and Friends. Luenell needs to shut her stupid mouth about Nene. Her role in putting Reza on a comedy stage has completely changed my opinion about her.
Meanwhile, Tommy and MJ go out to dinner and argue. I can’t stand Tommy’s talking head. He screams like a construction worker from Jersey. Apparently they are going to couples therapy. Oh YAY! More fake couples therapy on TV!
Mike and Shervin shoot a dinner scene. We get flashbacks to Shervin’s date from hell. Shervin acts like the date went well. This date with Mike and Shervin is going much better than the one with the poor Aussie girl. The topic turns to social media and how it ruins relationships. Mike claims he has removed all of his social media. That lasted a few weeks. I think he did it because of all the trolls coming for him. Not to placate Jessica who is essentially over him at this point.
Reza hires a midget (oh shut up, “little person” is the most derogatory term ever. It’s so Leona Helmsly) to dress up “like him” and go to his friends’ houses to silly string them and invite them to his open mike night. GG answers her door armed with one of her knives.
Reza starts his standup by calling women in the audience bitches. He curses every other word. He’s bombing. He feels the need to show the audience his green card. Then he talks about how the Iranians run Beverly Hills. Then he makes a bad joke with an ethnic slur about Asian women. It’s every bit as bad as you would expect. They try to make it seem like a lot of people are there but when they camera gets GG’s reaction to the ethnic slur, the tables behind her are empty. Reza blames the crowd for his horrific set. He wants to do it again.
Jessica goes to the comedy show and then out to a club with the gang later they makeout outside the club and decide to skip it and go home together.
Next Week: Reza accuses GG of faking her Rheumatoid Arthritis. Seriously? More Munchausen story lines?