It seems like tonight’s Southern Charm is going to focus on Craig a lot. That will actually be a nice diversion from everyone talking about Kathryn. I used to like Cameran’s little catch up sequence at the beginning of each show, but now she just seems like a bitch.
I hate scenes where they pretend to wake up with a cameraman in their bedroom. Sadly, that is how we start out with Craig and Naomie “waking up” so that Craig can give Naomie her promise ring by Bravo. Craig is excited to go off to work where he believes JD is going to name him the head of the bourbon division. JD asks Craig to help him with an event with the Bourbon side of the business entertaining investors.
It’s time to taste some Gentry bourbon. I think if we have to sit through the infomercial a rocks glass of bourbon should magically appear in our hands. Basically, Craig stands around in awe of oak barrels and complimenting the colors on the labels. He is clueless. Whitney is super awkward when being introduced to people. I mean he’s awkward anyway, but his interactions with relatively normal humans is bizarre.
Everyone sits down to a flight of four bourbons to taste and critique. YAY K. Cooper Ray has arrived. Finally someone worth drinking with. Camaran is confused about the feedback sheets. The word aroma seems to confuse her. Craig gets drunk and wants Danni to tell Craig how to run the division. Craig’s biggest task is collecting everyone’s feedback forms. Craig is good at the sad drunk guy routine. JD asks Danni to be the VP of the bourbon division. JD breaks the news to Craig. Then Naomie rubs Craig’s nose in the situation. Because, best girlfriend ever!
Shep and Cameran
It’s the day after Shep’s Craptastic Birthday Party and he is supposed to be at his listing with Cameran. Shep meets with Cameran and tries to convince her to stop being Patti’s little bitch, but she is not having it.
OMG. I am having such dramatic, self-pitying house envy lately and this show just kills me. I adore this listing and we have not even gotten past the porch. I want this house. I am DYING over this house. I am pausing to take a moment. Woah, it’s 6000 square feet. That is way too big for me. I guess I will have to keep on looking. Too bad though, because I had $750,000 right here in my back pocket. I guess I’ll just spend it on hookers and blow now.
Landon wants to start “kind of an online magazine.” Apparently, she has to fly to NYC to pitch this idea to someone. Um, why? Just open your laptop and get going. I think she already tries a travel blog online and it didn’t seem to do much. I don’t think people realize how much work a website is.
But let’s say for some reason you are pitching your idea for a kind of online magazine about stuff to someone you hope will invest. You know what you should do? You should write out your pitch and figure out your elevator pitch where you explain how spectacular your idea is, and why it is unique and investment worthy in under 90 seconds. It should roll off your tongue and pique the interest of your target.
Landon goes another route, let’s call it the Sonja Morgan approach to business. She brings a couple photos of pretty places and then starts rambling about travel and fashion and cutting edge technology, and season style, and where to go to see and be seen, for example Aspen in the winter….because that’s original…events….parties….group travel opportunities….a Nigerian football team…dinner with Saudi royalty… and presales to Mars and an annual coffee table book. Some of those I may have gotten mixed up with Lady Morgan. The guy actually asks her for an elevator pitch. She has no idea. The guy says she needs something unique. He asks her what is unique about her idea? She is clueless.
Kathryn decides to reach out to Elizabeth to make amends. She is going to go visit Elizabeth so they can catch up. Kathryn explains that she started isolating herself from the group because she didn’t know who she can trust among her mutual friends with Thomas. They cry and hug it out.
Time for more home envy. Thomas’ home is so pretty, and yet a bachelor pad. Shep drops by and they discuss Landon not inviting Kathryn to Shep’s party. Since the hospital incident, Thomas is trying to keep Kathryn appeased.
Whitney and Cameran
These two creatures meet up at Shem Creek Bar & Grill for some bloody marys. Why am I not at a bar in Shem Creek having bloody marys right now? Shep shows up and orders a beer. They talk about Craig and his bourbon tasting that night. He is worried that no one is going to show up.
Shep invites them to go to Lindell, North Carolina to his parents cabin in the woods. Shep wants everyone to go including Kathryn. Cameran has no desire to go in the first place let alone with Kathryn. I question how wise it is to take a woman as pregnant as Kathryn is to a cabin in the woods where the closest doctor is two mountains away.
The best thing about this episode was it was Patti-free! Yippee!!!
The previews of the rest of the season look AH MAZ ZING!