YAY! It’s time for a new episode of Southern Charm! Even better, it’s Shep’s birthday party at a roller rink. Sure it is a stupid place for a party for adults, but it’s also a great place because it is not elderly friendly! I’m still grinning from last week when K. Cooper Ray called out the yankee woman for ordering everyone not to be friends with Kathryn.
Craig and Naomie are being evicted out of their play house because it sold. I am so tired of this show trying to convince us that Whitney slept with Kathryn, or any woman for that matter. He is simply butt hurt that she would not play the role of his beard.
Craig is super excited about his new job. He is working on the Hotel construction side of the business and he really wants to work on the bourbon line instead.
To continue on with the farce, Whitney calls his “girlfriend” Larissa. Larissa lives in Russia, or Mars or Narobi or somewhere and conveniently makes appearances during the filming season.
Landon and Whitney go shopping for vintage clothes for Shep’s Roller Disco birthday party. They talk about Kathryn. Whitney says he would prefer to go to a steak house and then a strip club. Oh Whitney. No one is buying this. No. Bod. EE.
It’s the meeting of the redheads when Kathryn meets up with K. Cooper Ray for lunch at 82 Queen. For the love of God, someone order the she crab soup so that I can enjoy it viciously. Kathryn who needs a cosigner on her lease, apparently had no problem buying a new taupe Birkin bag. She claims in her talking head that it’s a fake, but I don’t believe her.
K. Cooper Ray tells Kathryn that Patti called him before the tacky flamingo party and tells him he is not to be seen in public with Kathryn. Kathryn says Patti talks about her and martinis. That’s about it. Come on now, Kathryn sometimes Patti talks about her picture book she is going to self publish down at the Kinkos.
K. Cooper Ray tells Kathryn that he does not trust Jennifer Snowden. THANK YOU! Someone needs to explain that to Kathryn. Snowden is not her friend. Kathryn is not listening to him. This is end up being a big mistake.
Kathryn tries to get Cameran to join her for a cup of coffee or a salad. But Cameran is not interested. Clearly, she is following the Patti decree this season.
Meanwhile at Chateau Flamingo, the tackiness is still abundant. Her spawn arrives unshaven and she immediately starts to talking about he conversation with K. Cooper Ray regarding…Kathryn. Whitney calls K. Cooper Ray a drama queen. Patti says he will never have K. Cooper Ray in her house again. Because he dares to befriend Kathryn.
Shep has an edgy, artsy girlfriend named Bailey. She is way too cool for him. He needs someone who is preppy and wears pearls. He needs a Cameran type.
Shep goes to his bar, The Palace Hotel. Sadly there was a fire there a while back and they are still rebuilding from that. Cameron and Shep agree to split her listing commission if he brings her a buyer. Shep is 36 and suddenly feels like he should be married by the time he is 40.
Thomas helps Kathryn get moved in to her new house. At the same time, he is moving in to his house. I LOVE Kathryn’s house. If you are counting along at home, three people are moving on this episode.
Landon shows up at Thomas’ house to see it with all of his furnishings. It really is quite the lovely bachelor pad. The nursery is more lavender than periwinkle, and it’s adorable. Thomas is wearing a periwinkle sweater though! Landon is pissed when Thomas tells Landon to be sure and invite Kathryn to Shep’s birthday. Landon is trying to sound like she has not slept with Thomas. But we all know that is not true. Landon has decided she wants to write a travel blog. Who is bankrolling all of these trips? She hints at Thomas to invest in her globetrotting, but he shoots her down.
The Shepic Birthday Party
Shep has never skated, is not interested in skating, and there is no alcohol at this disastrous even. Nonetheless, everyone is going all out with the disco outfits. Shep is the first to arrive at the party bus. Landon was late. Landon also lies about Kathryn being invited. Shep likes Kathryn. Shep’s latest squeeze, Bailey is the last to arrive.
This party is craptastic, not shepic. Shep can’t skate, especially drunk and falls a lot. Shep is miserable.
Cameran says that Kathryn has not offended her. She offended Patti and Whitney. And since Cameran lives up Patti’s ass this season, she is following her orders. I am so disappointed in this Cameran this season. Landon is hating on Bailey now too. She’s really overplaying the bitch card.
Shep calls Kathryn and finds out that she was not invited. Shep is pissed. Landon calls Kathryn a liar and says she is lucky that she was invited and if she doesn’t show up, “Who cares?” And now Landon is pissed. Shep eaves.
Next week: I’m going to guess that everyone talks about Kathryn.