OMG! I have been on Twitter blocking the LVPlunatics for the past hour or so because Rinna and Eileen both retweeted me tonight. Had I know that the people in tonight’s episode would be called Tyreme and Tomorrow, I would have just let the run their course and started this recap on time. With names like that, I can already tell they are dumb as a packet of pop rocks.
Idiot number one is Tyreme, he has already reproduced TWICE. I can’t wait to hear what their names are. He is from Newport News, Virginia and is 27 years old. In other words, he is way too old to be this stupid. Tyreme, met Tomorrow on Facebook and she is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Well, her pictures are pretty anyway. He has never actually seen her. They have been talking on Facebook and I assume text for nine months. She lives in Alabama. He’s unemployed. But he likes to draw. So there is that. They talk on the phone. He thinks Tomorrow is 25 and works in the kitchen of a nursing home. I’m trying to be nice. They are both diabetic.
The boys fly to Virginia. Where they meet Tyreme. The guys sit down in their plain shirts with no logos in a house with shiny new couches and no art on the walls. There is a china cabinet with stemware in the dining room. Clearly Tyreme lives with his grandmother because this is not a guy’s house. A bouquet of silk flowers in a brass spittoon adorns and end table in the living room. Welp, he doesn’t live with grandma. She’s dead and so is his cousin. I guess he got the china cabinet.
The boys look at photos of “Tomorrow” and see an iPhone six in one of her selfies. Apparently, they have two camera yet she claims her camera is broken. They also see her in a Missouri sweatshirt, our boy Tyreme thought it said Mississippi. But hey, he can draw pictures.
Tyreme says that Tomorrow has a best friend named Latrine. Oh, it’s Latrease. When he and Tomorrow put their tragic love story on hold for a week after an argument or something, Tomorrow got knocked up by Latrease kid’s dad. Okay so Tomorrow is probably Latrease. Do continue…Latrease sent him a picture of an ultrasound so that is the truth right there. It’s not like you can just google up an ultrasound photo. Oh wait, Yes you can. Oh wait, that bullshit story doesn’t even matter because she “had a miscarriage.” How old are these fools again? Tyreme seems to think she is still pregnant. But he still loves her “to deaf.”
The boys do their super complicated investigation, Googling. First they notice that all of Latrease’s photos have St Louis Missouri stuff in them. The girl in the photo’s name is Aryssa. The phone number is registered to Christ Rothwell. Did someone actually name their kid, “Christ?” Tomorrow’s middle name is supposedly, Christina. It seems the phone belongs to Christina Rothwell. There is a girl named Shadeija who also shows up as the owner of the phone on Facebook. She is pregnant with a sonogram photo on her page. The guys just send them all messages and wait for someone to get back to them. I have a feeling, that Shadeija is going to end up being the girl Tyreme has been talking to.
When the guys talk to Tyreme they match the sonogram photos. Tyreme tries to comprehend what that means. The he tries to be upset by the news.
Christina calls Nev and says come to Dothan and “we’ll explain everything. The boys have a meeting at high noon. In the ghetto. I hope they got a new couch because I’m sure they really needed one. Christina comes to the door. She is really cute. She says she has never heard of Tyreme. She says she feels kind of responsible for some of what is going on. She goes inside and gets another girl.
Latrease walks out and says she is “Tomorrow.” Latrease could be nine months pregnant or just fat. This will be a delicate situation for Max and Nev to maneuver.
Latrease showed Tyreme pictures of herself as Latrisse and he called her too big and ugly for him to ever date. She is not pregnant. She tried to use the sonogram to push him away since he would never want to date the real her.
The next day they return to talk to Latrease. They did get a new couch and they used the same sort of watermelon red paint they used at one of the other houses to paint the walls. Latrease cries a lot and keeps asking why she is not good enough for him. It’s very sad. Tyreme is very sweet to Latrease and says he will cherish their conversations and she can still talk to him any time she wants to. He hugs her when he leaves.
At the two month checkup, Tyreme says that he and Latrease still talk almost every day. They are still friends. Latrease seems very happy. She is not trying to date right now, she is working on herself.
NEXT WEEK LOOKS LIKE THE BEST CATFISH OF ALL TIME. Some dude has convinced a girl he is channeling her dead father. Now that’s a new twist!