This episode of Shahs of Sunset is only the second one and already I am tired of the battle between Mercedeh and Asa that will resume in this episode over the affections of Reza. Reza is a scumbag, misogynist who women and THE gays (Capitalized to emphasis for those that the term “the gays” bothers) can no longer abide. Sure there are women (like Bethenny Frankel, based on her Talk Show) who love him and gays who fuck him, me and mine are not fans. So to have the storyline be two women clamoring for the affections of Reza for another season is going to annoy the fuck out of me. MJ, is MJ. But Asa Soltan Rahmati I hold to a higher accountability. Le sigh.
I am also behind because it took me all day to research THIS STORY about Bethenny Frankel, because apparently no one else could be bothered. So I am behind, and irritable and will not do WWHL with Mike Shouhed until tomorrow because WWHL is a PITA to recap. #Apologies.
On to tonights’ episode…
This used to be one of my favorite Bravo shows, but just the previews alone are irritating to me. GG wakes up at Shervin’s where she slept in his bed and he slept on the couch. She wakes up in full makeup with a camera crew. Come on Ryan Seacrest! And just look at her pitiful wrist with less than an inch of gold bangles. It’s all just a super disappointment at this point.
Golnesa doesn’t remember anything about the cake throwing incident or how she got there because her storyline this season is that she is a an alcoholic with rheumatoid arthritis. So basically she taking the Kim Richards storyline and the Yolanda Foster storyline and smushing them together. I don’t believe a goddamn thing on this show and it is only episode two. Gonesa’s hair looks fabulous.
Nima is back now playing the role of GG’s cousin. I forget what role he had before but that was not it. Do Iranians have play cousins? GG says she is basically mentally ill and a danger to others.
Broke ass drunk Mike who can’t keep his dick in his pants has a dream. He wants to help other guys get laid by making dope shoes that help them get laid. He basically says he married Jessica for her family’s money. Her family really needs to cut her ass off. Not just for the hugely expensive wedding where the marriage ended in eight months, but because she is now dating a violent asshole who could put her life in danger. ALLEGEDLY.
Asa and Reza chat and Asa says something like the fact that all the drama has to do with “cake wiping” which … I mean is that a thing where they come from? Is ridiculous. And Reza who has never seen a cake he did not destroy blames it all on Golnesa. Chile, please. It’s going to be a season of hating Golnesa. BECAUSE LET US NOT TALK ABOUT WHAT A SLIMELY WHORE MIKE IS! No, let’s talk about how great Mike is. I can’t with these people.
Apparently, we are to notice the shoes because promotional, consideration. Anyway MJ is there and she is pissed that Reza wants Asa to officiate the ceremony. Reza wants a flash mob event at his “new house in Palm Springs.”
Did Asa just call Reza “the man of the household”??????????????????????????????????????????????????/
I man not be able to recap the rest of this shit. So two men get married and one is the man of the household? What the fuck does that make the other one? Asa will be hearing about that shit on Twitter tonight.
I fast forward through the dog humiliation scenes. I can’t with these people.
Asa has a scene about her kaftan company. She is doing very well and needs more space. Asa thinks that immigrants are the only people in America without 401Ks. And well, she wants us to know business is hard. No matter what Asa says, she has GAME in the gold bangle department. I speak with knowledge on the subject.
I don’t even want to address Tommy and MJ. I used to hate Vida. Now I completely agree with her about everything.
Asa and Adam are friends. She is thrilled he has learned Farsi. We all saw how well converting to Judaism worked for Jessica before marrying her piece of shit man. Perhaps learning Farsi will serve Adam better when marrying his piece of shit man. You think? Blah, blah, blah, close up on Asa’s bangle game. Sorry. It’s sort of my bag. I am easily distracted. Asa’s bangles look like 22K and I need to work on that. #Grinding4BanglesNDaGhetto
MJ, Tommy and Vida have lunch. Or more to the point, Vida has MJ and Tommy for lunch.
Jessica and Mike meet for lunch to discuss why they can’t get a loan for a house. Mike is so full of shit. Mike wants to sells shoes for money. OH PULEASE.
All I care about is this scene with Asa. Let us all behold. I had to get over her licking a plastic lid to something she is serving and allow myself to believe she made all that food. Because I NEED TO STILL BELIEVE IN SOMETHING ON THIS SHOW RYAN SEACREST! GIVE ME SOMETHING TO BELIEVE IN! Reza is wearing a black and white striped shirt that looks like the old timey prisoners. It’s almost like foreshadowing. I’m just saying. What is better than having a man like Tommy who says he “eats like he has two assholes??” I mean who would not want that for their friend/daughter. They talk about Golnesa. And Mercedeh tells Adam not to be a doormat. This show is sofa king scripted I can’t stand it.
Cue GG going out with Shervin and her play cousin Nemo, Nema, Nemi… whatever. GG is falling down drunk and making out with idiots. I hope Shervin is not going to be cast as Golnesa’s boyfriend.
I love Shervin. He tells drunk ass GG, “The Golnesa today is not the real one, but that’s okay. I’ll be with this one, until the real one comes back.” Sadly, GG is really drunk and GG really is struggling. I just think they are going to ridicule her this season and I do not want to watch that.
I think my friend O.O has a future boyfriend who lives in Beverly Hills and works at a bakery. He has two giant tattoos on each side of his neck with giant Os
Adam tells Reza he has basically ruined the concept of marriage for him. But sadly, he will marry him anyway.
This show is such bullshit.