I really happy to have RHONY back, but already it seems we are going to carry the deadly serious nature of who we choose to like or dislike over from RHOBH to RHONY. Jules (and her husband’s ) less than perfect parenting techniques are already under attack. We already prove once again we don’t want to see rich people doing rich people things by getting outraged that wealthy NYC women have nannies and housekeepers. John is going to become the butt of all the jokes on each episode. And tonight, Bethenny is going to throw a BBQ in the Hamptons. When has a housewife ever even known what a BBQ is? I can hardly wait to see what Bethenny things a BBQ is.
Jules was up cooking breakfast in the first scene. She seemed like a domestic goddess and then she says she doesn’t know how to make coffee and blows the entire farce. Who the hell bathes kids in the morning. Why not do that before bed?
Bethenny is have a “tailgate chic” party at her house in the Hamptons to celebrate her birthday. Basically because she wants an excuse to use her fire pits. I can live with that rationale. Who doesn’t love a good fire pit? Why would Dorinda and John stay at Ramona’s place when Dorinda has a place there too? Oh wait. Her house is in the Berkshires. Bethenny is suspicious of Dorinda’s motivations for hard selling John. Carole shows up and I am still not sure where these ladies are. Wherever they are, Carole immediately starts talking about how Ramona never shuts up. Bethenny says every time she invests in Ramona she gets burned. Dorinda says that Ramona has never burned her in 20 years. #Foreshadowing. Then we talk about Dorinda Nairing John’s back hair and I’m kind of nauseated.
Over at Grey Gardens, Sonja and Sonja are bonding as “roommates.” At this point apparently Luann had not met the housewives whore she is currently “engaged” to. Luann says that she has seen a lot of Bethenny whenever Carole is not all up her ass. Luann is still pissy about Carole dating Adam but she denies it. Sonja reminds me that I need to sage the ghetto shack.
Ramona and Mario didn’t really fuck around with their divorce. People could learn some things from that. Basically Ramona got the properties. She has redone the apartment and it looks amazing. Where is Ramona getting all this money from? Isn’t Bravo her only job? I know she gets a nice mid six figure income from the show, but this is NYC we are talking about and maintaining, let alone renovating two properties is not cheap. Dorinda is there to see the place. It’s like she teleported through time and space to be both at Ramona’s and hanging with Bethenny and Carole simultaneously. Ramona’s place looks amazing and I love the lack or window treatments that show off all of her views of the city. However, it also makes the apartment hot in the summer and the two menopausal ladies are burning up.
Dorinda talks about wanting her daughter, Hannah move out so she can have some alone time before deciding if she wants to live with John. She is also having a lingerie party.
Bethenny and Carole meet for lunch. Carole is happy with Adam but she realizes they are in different places in life. Mainly, Adam wants kids and a family. Carole and Luann still hate each other. Bethenny is team Carole. Based on what Luann said to Sonja, Bethenny’s allegiance to Carole will crush Luann.
Dorinda’s Lingerie Party
Sonja and Luann have bailed on the party. I find that odd. They both crave camera time. I have a feeling they were still in a contract holdout when this happened, Ramona wants to tell Dorinda that John is talking badly about her. Basically he said he goes home and takes Viagra and fucks Dorinda for hours. I don’t see the problem. I can see him speaking that same way to Dorinda’s face. The script for this party is to disparage Dorinda and John’s relationship.
Say what you will about Carole but she is very Sex in the City. I get she is a bit too old for that, but I still think she has a great NYC look. She is rail thin and just like Bethenny she immediately suggests that Jules has an eating disorder. What is it is with the rail thin women pointing fingers at eat other?
They have women there to fit them to the right bra size. They can do it just looking at them. This is really true. I’ve had this done before. They look at you and grab the perfect sized bra for you. And the perfect bra costs at least a hundred dollars. And then you just go to Walmart and go up a band size and get all the DDs they offer and call it a day. I actually prefer a particular bra that only WalMart sells and just bought one in every color they had in my size. As a girl who is quite gifted in the breast department, I prefer an unlined lace bra and WalMart actually makes a good one. Judge me if you will but I’ve gotten many compliments on this particular bra. I’m currently wearing the mint colored one under my old man PJs. I know that is weird.
Ramona and Carole bicker over nothing. The Ramona eyes pop out. Bethenny goes after Dorinda about her hard sell of John. Dorinda finds out that her BFF Ramona has been conspiring with Bethenny on the topic. Dorinda’s street comes out. Because face it, Dorinda and John are both a bit rough around the edges.
Jules is mystified that Bethenny would attack the hostess of the party at her party. We have a lot of flashbacks to previous seasons on this episode that are unnecessary. I cannot believe that Bethenny, Ramona and Carole all feel like they should trash talk Dorinda about her man. Bethenny continues to go in Dorinda for being drunk at a party. Dorinda says she will not be staying with Ramona this weekend. I am Team Dorinda on this. This is ridiculous. Dorinda cries about this in her talking head. Ramona broke her heart. Jules is like, “Are we going to try on bras or what?”
Next Week: John shows up drunk to the bra party and goes off on Bethenny. Bethenny and Dorinda fight again.