I love Cameran’s narration of the previous episode, ” Thomas proves not every southern man thinks it’s sweeter to wrap his peter!” And finally we get the theme song we have been missing.
Cameran’s house is amazing. Is this a new house? It’s been so long between season’s I’m not sure if it’s a new house, or my Lymenopause just makes everything seem new over and over and over. Either way, cute house. Cameran is going to throw her first dinner party.
I think it is going to be another pick on Kathryn season. Because they are idiots. I thought Thomas sold the plantation. Yet, here we are enjoying it for another season. Thomas doesn’t seem to think he should support his kid until there is a court order. Then he says he is paying Kathryn $2,500 a month. I don’t like Kathryn’s friend, Jennifer. I mean she is fine, but I’d like to see her with someone else.
I go back and forth on Landon. Landon’s Bravo check has allowed her to rent a place and she is no longer a homeless person living on a boat. Shep stops by her house and they paint little canvases like Yolanda Foster. I’m much more enamored with her when she flirts with Shep than when she has goo goo eyes for Thomas.
Out in West Ashley, Craig is Facetiming his parents. #NewCraig needs a J O B. Craig has decided to into business with JD. He has a “hospitality group.”
Cameran goes to visit Patty. Patty has an intern a la Sonja Morgan. Slavery is alive and well by the Yankee poseurs in Charleston. She is there to invite Patty to her dinner party and get some advice from her. Cameran wants to do a crock pot thing. Um, noe dear. Patty is going to loan her the butler and suggests a caterer. Neither Thomas or Kathryn are invited.
Shep has more money and women than sense at this point. Craig is trying to grow up, but Shep doesn’t seem interested in anything of the sort. My God, Shep still does shots of Goldschlager. That is something you outgrow as an undergraduate. I keep imagining all the old ladies in the nursing home in forty years with stupid sayings tattooed on their forearms.
The triumvirate of Malevolence: Whitney, Patty and Thomas meet at a French restaurant. I’m going to assume it is to talk about Kathryn. And of course that is just what they do. They really don’t have a storyline without her.
Kaathryn is out looking for a place to live off her Bravo check. Apparently, Patty is having a Flamingo party, or perhaps a Flamenco party. Either way, it sounds dreadful. Kathryn is butthurt for not being invited. Why would she want to be around Patty, who clearly hates her for being young, beautiful and trying to tie down her son’s object of desire.
Suzanne is back to teach Cameran how to cook a dinner. Apparently, Cameran doesn’t even have decent salt and pepper. Cameran is unpacking wedding presents to cook in. She’s been married for two years. She forgets about her meat, that was supposed to be cooked to 125 degrees. She pushes the meat thermometer all the way in and it registers 165. She may have actually hit the bottom of the pan with the thermometer so there is still hope. For whatever reason, she desperately wants to impress the yankee woman. Who arrives first with the butler. Cameran had no idea that butler’s actually go to school to learn their craft.
As Craig and the new chick get ready for dinner at Cameran’s, Kathryn pops in. I have a feeling they are going to bring her with them and Whitney will show up with Thomas. Because, storyline. Kathryn tells Craig she found a home in I’on that she likes because it is a good starter home. You know if your starter home costs a million dollars. You might could get in that community for $600-700K on the low end. Kathryn’s feelings are hurt but they don’t invite her along. I’m going to hate this season if they alienate Kathryn all season. She is the one that brings the ratings.
For the record it is extremely rude to bring a butler to make you martini’s at someone else’s home. Especially if you don’t bring enough for everyone. Michael carves the meat and it looks perfectly cooked. Patty of course wants a well done piece. Whitney tries to pretend he is going to marry a female sometime in the near future. Patty regales us with stories of how quickly she married her husbands. She fails to mention that she married Arthur in two weeks because he was 76 and she thought he had one foot in the grave. He died six long years (for her) later. I suppose it was time well served.
Craig asks about Kathryn and Thomas not being invited. Patty goes on and on about how Kathryn is full of drama. Sadly, Cameran is up Patty’s asscrack this season.
Next week: MOTS. Except Thomas and Kathryn go to Aiken for polo. This is where they made the second baby.
P.S. I’ve handed off the RHOD recapping to the interns. It will be up by tomorrow.