It’s time to catch up on Dance Moms, I took a bit of a break last week and I got terribly behind on the shows that I normally catchup on the weekends. Sometimes even bloggers try to grab some R&R so I have three episodes to get through before the RHOA reunion begins. I’m going to use a little template or something to hit the highlights.
Episode One: Abby Lee Horror Story
The Mom Stuff: Well the Mom stuff this week, is that the Moms did not show up. Except for Brynn and her mom, Ashlee. So Brynn gets right in rehearsing her solo. There are three solos, all are of famous deaths. Brynn has The Black Dahlia. The moms finally arrive quite late in their pajamas to give Abby a taste of her own medicine. Their plan backfired. Brynn had all day to work on her solo and the group rehearsal missed an entire day. The moms somehow blame Ashlee for their girls missing a day of rehearsal.
Abby’s Mental State: About as good as it gets with Abby. Almost pleasant at times.
The group dance is called “The Cult” replete with brainwashing and Kool-Aid drinking. You know, kind of like here. The dance was great and deserves a first place. However, Mackenzie was in the center a good bit and seemed to struggle in a few places to keep pace with the other girls. The judges loved it.
Brynn’s solo is The Black Dahlia. She was really, really good. Her best solo yet. The black costume with the black tutu and the lyrical choreography could all lead her to a win. The pressure is on for Maddie. The judges didn’t get the blood. Clearly they know nothing about The Black Dahlia. They praised her dancing but totally missed the point of the dance.
Maddie’s solo is about Lizzie Borden. I’m five seconds in and Maddie wins. With all her Sia experience she has bat shit crazy down to a science. Her interaction with the axe is perfection. I’m afraid of her. The choreography was miles above the others. The judges ate it up.
Kendall’s solo is Natalie Wood. I didn’t like it. I didn’t like her costume which was a leotard three sizes too big for her, I was distracted by the completely empty side stage. I was bored. She was clunky. Just noe.
Brynn’s solo took second in her division with a score of 296. Kendall took second her division with a 292. (so technically, Brynn beat Kendall) and Maddie got first in teen. No idea of what her score was. The group solo won. Maddie got overall high score.
Episode Two: The Maddie Rumor
The Mom Stuff: We have a new mom, Jeanie, with three daughters Coco, Rianna and Kaylee. She is there because the minis are back. but just a few of them and I really don’t know what Abby’s plan is because only the littlest one is a mini MAYBE, she’s seven. The other two are nine and eleven. Abby puts them all on the mini team and the mom ends up having a hissy fit and leaving after the first rehearsal.
Meanwhile, Melissa is claiming that Mackenzie is back in Pittsburgh to compete, but it appears the real story is that Maddie (and probably Mackenzie) are bailing on ALDC before the FEDs arrive. Hell, how many Secret Service Agents do we have in this country and do they ever have time to investigate anyone other than reality stars? Melissa is outright lying. Maddie looks 23 years old in her makeup.
Maddie and Melissa gave Abby two tickets and she takes Brynn as her date. She wants to see how she behaves on the red carpet. The other moms go batshit. Abby ends up not taking any of them. Maddie won the award.
Abby’s Mental State: Erratic. She was a horrible person to the minis.
group dance trio is The Monsters. At the very last minute, Abby brings in a duo to dance against the trio. I’m confused. Are they doing it at the same time? No, Abby has added and entry. The moms go nuts, Abby goes psycho. My poor sweet little uncoordinated Peyton is crying. It’s a mess. Right before the dance one of the not Peytons turns into a mature 25 year old dance coach and tells Peyton they are going to go out there and prove Abby wrong. They will work so hard. They will give face. They will have attitude. They will win.
The duet goes first. They do a hip hop number. They are good. Why aren’t THEY on the mini team, they study at ALDC.
The trio was adorable albeit very age inappropriate. Even Peyton got her act together. I hope they beat the duet.
The Junior elite group dance is The Vultures. It was good. The costumes were great, the music was great. They were not as clean and precise as they could have been. Some of the stunts seemed out of place and, well clunky.
Maddie has the only solo called, The People’s Choice of Not? Was great. I guess. I got bore watching.
Maddie won her solo. The trio got second. The duet took first. Dammit, Man! The group dance won.
Episode Three: Brynn’s Big Moment
The Mom Stuff: Kira is back for some unknown reason. Ashlee is still there and she is the reason Kira was refusing to film. Everyone hates Ashlee for pretty much no reason other than that Brynn is a threat to their kids.
Abby is doing two trios. Brynn versus Maddie. They pick their teams. Nia is left out when Maddie chooses JoJo over Nia. Jill is pissed that Brynn is a captain. Abby says if Brynn’s team when she will be an official member of the team. Jill suggests that Kira tell Kalani to sabatoge her team so Brynn will be gone. Holly points out that two trios, a group dance and a commercial is too much for one week.
Kira can’t take being back with the women. After they tell her that Melissa was stressed raising Kalani for her for 12 weeks, she throws a water bottle as hard as she can at Jess and cries. Ashlee must be thrilled they have stopped bullying her for ten minutes.
Toddrick is supposed to be directing the video but Abby is interfering. Abby wants the girls to literally dance in traffic. The concept of the video is awesome. But there is really not time to work on the group dance.
Abby’s Mental State: Erratic, Nutty, she did literally play in traffic, but not at Bat Shit Crazy Levels
Trio Two Brynn, Kalani, Kenzie (Contemporary Acro) “The World is Ours” They were good. I didn’t see any problems. I did zone out though. That may just be me watching three straight hours of Dance Moms on a rainy Easter Sunday though.
Trio One Maddie, Kendall, JoJo.(Contemporary Jazz) “The Golden Girls Maddie fell out of her turn!!! Is she throwing this to help out Brynn? Because when these three started I said there is no way for them to lose. Especially with the Maddie advantage. They might still win. They really were good. Jo Jo held her own with the other two. Plus Maddie brings extra points all on her own.
The group dance is based on a commercial they are going to shoot inspired by The Wiz. Everyone will sing as well. “Ease on Down the Boulevard” The dance was great. It was, in fact, the ALDCLA commercial, but it was cute. Maddie stood out as being way better than the other girls in this one. I’ve never really seen that before.
The group dance won. Maddie Ziegler is standing on the stage holding SECOND PLACE SIGN Y’ALL! BRYNN WON! BRYNN WON! BRYNN WON!
Jessalynn says he said the scores backwards. Apparently Maddie’s team won. Abby goes to check and regardless of whatever numbers were said the right team was in first. This sucks. Brynn won, but now the moms are being cunts about it. Maddie fell out of her turn! Her trio lost. Get a grip!
Abby gives Brynn her official ALDC jacket. Which was meaningless really because she was already in the commercial.
Jill is still demanding the score sheets. She says there is no way her kid’s team was second Jill ruins the moment for everyone and is an extreme bitch to Ashlee right in front of her daughter and all the girls. I am so over Jill this season. Ashlee and Brynn leave. Bynn is hysterical and tells her mom that Jill and Kendall say she is an awful person.
Next Week: Jill leaves with Kendall because I assume Ashlee confronted them about saying horrible things to Brynn.