Tonight, we have to suffer through Yolanda’s ridiculous Lifetime Achievement Award for Suffering In Silence On Her Journey To The Center Of The Lyme. We start with Yolanda telling a makeup artist that she has not worn makeup in 11 months, no three years. Does she not know how ridiculous this sounds? And Erika poses for random photos for her makeup artist on a table.
Later, Yolanda gets her award and Kyle cries and feels bad for doubting her. It was a rather moving event. But one has to member that there is a difference between Lyme Disease and CHRONIC Lyme Disease. And have you noticed that Yolanda no longer refers to her illness as Chronic Lyme anymore, now it’s Neurological Lyme Disease. I’d love to have compassion for Yolanda, but every day it’s something more illogical. Lately it has been “severe brain inflammation!”
Back in Beverly Hills, LVP explains that she had to bail on the Lyme Drama because she needed to fly to London to get her passport renewed. Which reminds me, I need to do the same. But not in London. She also gives Max a brand new Jeep for all of his hard work at PUMP.
The ladies do their usual insane packing scenes with their husbands. Or Gay Glam Squad. Much ado is being made about Dubai being in middle eastern country and they may all be locked up abroad. Ridiculous. Erika has a “look book” and is bringing her Gay Glam Squad without telling the other ladies. She is just going to fly them over separately.
I totally forgot I was supposed to be recapping I was so mesmerized by what they were wearing, and how exactly they managed to be transported by cars on the jetway in Atlanta to avoid having to go in the airport. Eileen does love her a denim jumper circa 1973.
Yolanda and David are moving out of the house. But the big news is that the artichokes on the top shelf of the fridge are FAKE! What else in there is fake! My god. Is there no end to the lies? Yolanda and David continue their lovey dovey act which is also FAKE.
Brandi comes to visit and asks how things are with David. She says that things have been a challenge. Yolanda says that Rinna is mad because she went to lunch with Kim and Brandi. Brandi said that Rinna’s wig glue is getting to her brain. Brandi insists that Rinna wears a wig.
In Dubai, Kyle and LVP get the biggest sweet in the house. It runs $40K per night. It looks like it is at least 7,000 sqft. I’ll try to pull the stats and plug them back in later. Here you go , “The 924 square metre (about 10,000 sq feet!) Royal Bridge Suite is truly palatial. The private elevator, team of butlers and chefs, 3 sumptuous bedrooms with ensuites, a majalis, lounge and a 16 seat dining room make it the ultimate in exclusivity, privacy and pure luxury.” The are staying at The Atlantis which is on “The Palm” a group of manmade islands in the shape of a palm tree. It’s beyond gorgeous. Every suite is better than the next. And Rinna is right, the fish tanks do seem more peaceful than scary. I was worried the underwater suite would not have windows. The three story underwater suite is the smallest of the four suites at a mere 1,800 square feet. LVP has finally come to understand the allure of the muumuu. Lisa and Eileen both have bare shoulders. See, THAT WAS THE ONE RULE. Gawd. Kyle gives all of the ladies kaftans.
In the suite the subject of Yolanda’s illness comes up. Nothing new is discussed. Same horse, fresh stick. Erika is not wearing a stitch of makeup for this scene. I have a feeling it is because her private glam squad was not available. LVP’s glam squad could not have done a more fabulous job. She looks amazing.
This was the best episode ever of RHOBH just because of the location. I was mesmerized. Next week they are going to yell at each other and make LVP cry.