I with through great strains to get the DVR to record the right programs in real time and save the other programs for later. But alas, for some reason this show didn’t record. Thankfully I was pretty quick with the nine o’clock recap so I haven’t missed much. I fear I did miss the intros of everyone so it will take me a minute to figure out who everyone is. Courtney’s mom has not arrived yet and they haven’t seen each other for months so that should be interesting. In addition to Kim Richards and Daughter Kimberly, the other five mother daughter pairs are : Heidi Montag and her mother, Darlene Egelhoff; Natalie Nunn and her mom, Karen; Courtney Stodden and her mom, Krista; Moesha actress Shar Jackson and her daughter, Cassie, (famous I guess for being Kevin Federline’s kid; and Hollywood Exes’ Jessica Canseco and her daughter, Josie.
Let the train wreck begin. Courtney is crying, Heidi is shitfaced and Natlatie’s mom said she expected to be the worst pair in the house, but she now sees things could definitely be worse. I missed whatever the drama was when they came in, but clearly it concerns Heidi and her drunkenness. After getting everyone wasted, they finally decide to feed them.
During dinner, everyone tries to explain why they are on the show. Shar’s daughter Cassie says that her mom is too clingy. Kim says that their issue is just that they never get to spend time together alone. Um, sure, that is the issue, the elephant in the room will never be discussed by Kim. Apparently, the Canseco kid has anger issues. Natalie is from Bad Girls so that explains their deal, her mother seems nice. Natalie’s mother just died a week ago. Courtney says she hasn’t spoken to her mom in six months and hasn’t seen her for a year. Heidi, who is blind drunk jumps up from the table to run to the bathroom to puke. She doesn’t make it and we are treated to green vomit on the floor. Lovely. This is starting to feel very Flavor of Love already. Darlene’s mom says Heidi’s drinking has escalated in the past few years.
Courtney can’t keep her story straight about how long it has been since she has seen her mom. Wow, apparently she is still married to Doug. She is telling Kim and Jessica about her marriage. Courtney’s fake boobs are saggy. How does that happen?
This therapist is an idiot. I mean I didn’t expect Sigmund Freud but starting the first group with ” You are all here because your relationship with your mother and or daughter…” and or? How can someone be your mother and your daughter. I already hate her. The group is after lunch and Heidi is still hungover as fuck. She is going to play their individual interviews for the whole group. Because that is what therapists do, they exploit your one on one sessions by sharing them with the world.
Kim and Kimberly
We start with Kim who talks about how the RHOBH hurt her because she was you know going through some things. Kimberly says she feels like the caregiver, physically and emotionally, almost like a spouse. Kimberly says that her mom being on RHOBH and hearing other people talk bad about her has affected her mother a lot. Kimberly feels like she is the one that has to protect her. Would this be a good time to point out that Kim doesn’t seem um….clean and sober? Kim pipes in to say there are other things going on at home ” that has nothing….there’s other things.” Maybe she means Monty and not her drinking? Natalie in a talking head says are we not going to mention her alcoholism at all? No Natalie, no we are not. That is apparently in her contract. Kim basically says that Kimberly is her favorite kid and that “she is her other half.” The therapist points out that is a lot to put on a kid. Kim says that it is hard on her daughter to see her get beat up by someone of the people on the show. Oh for fucksake, Kim. This is sad. She is just as delusional as ever. And now she is on another reality show where she is going to he horrible feedback on social media and this time she is dragging her kid into it. Kim is not free of all mind altering substances. She’s just not.
Heidi and Darlene
These two are apparently still living in the days of The Hills when Heidi got 11 or so surgeries at one time. They both do a weird fake cry.
Shar and Cassie
Shar sort of mocks Cassie’s relationship of “two or three years” in her interview. Cassie talks about the breakup of her step-dad (Kevin Federline) marriage to her mom. They lost their house. He mother was really depressed. She felt like her whole family was ruined. Shar seems to be projecting her relationship with Kevin onto Cassie.
Jessica and Josie
Josie feels like her mother wasn’t there for her when she was a kid, Jose and other people came first. Jessica says they are not like mother and daughter really, more like friends. She says Josie has anger issues. She seems to have missed the blaring reason for her anger in her interview.
Sidenote: OMG Unreal is coming back for a second season this summer! I can’t wait. Best show ever!
Natalie and Karen
Poor Karen. Her mother just died and now she is the only sane woman living in this asylum. Run, Karen! RUN! I really like Karen and want her to go far away from all of this crazy. Natalie can’t deal with her mother’s emotions. Natalie is pissed that her mother spent the last 8 years taking care of her mother rather than being there for her. That is probably the lever that Natalie used to get her poor mom on this show. Natalie screams in her interview that everyone is always saying “your poor mom!” What about Natalie????? So Natalie may be the token malignant narcissist in the group.
Courtney and Krista
Courtney’s mom Krista has been in the house but they haven’t brought her into the group until now. Why? Why did she not get to see the other pairs issues with everyone else? Also, the drinking word is “fractured.’ Apparently, it was on Courtney’s word of the day calendar or something. They bring her mom in and she just sits down next to her. No hug or how you doin’. Nothing. Courtney has put a pillow in between them on their um, “love seat.” On their interviews, (when was Krista’s taken? I don’t understand why she was so late to be introduced?) Courtney says her mother is a famewhore who will do anything for fame. If that is true, the apple didn’t fall far from the tree. Krista says that Courtney doesn’t appreciate all she has sacrificed for her. Courtney says he mother is trying to steal her husband. Krista says that when Courtney was estranged from Doug and didn’t want him anymore, she and Doug became close, and that is why they are in this mess. I presume we will get to see the third famewhore in this triad in an upcoming episode or three.
Sidenote: I am not familiar with Shar Jackson, and I get that she is probably the problem in her relationship with her kid, but she makes the best faces and has the best talking heads. I just love when they cut to her. That is all.
In real time, Krista says Doug has brainwashed Courtney. Courtney says “what mother does that? fall in love with her daughter’s husband.” Krista denies it but I’m pretty sure she has admitted this before. Where are these reality girls getting this annoying whisper cry routine from. We don’t need Farrah on this show, Courtney has the fake whiney whisper cry down pat.
These two stay behind after the other pairs are dismissed. Though nothing happened. I was busy trying to figure out the therapists weird accent. What is it? Yankee? Foreign? Alien? I have no idea. Maybe like Northeastern? We see more of Courtney and Krista arguing in the room. The rest of them are going to have to step it up for camera time.
Next Week: We see Kim and Kimberly at a cemetery. And everyone else is crying. Kim gets in a physical tussle with Heidi and Natalie.
Who is watching this crap with me?