This is the story of two girls and a boy, as is often the case on this east coast reality show. Let’s call them Buffy, Muffy and Dick. Buffy and Muffy were picked to be on a reality show where they were supposed to portray wealth and social status. Amusingly, there was little of that amongst the cast and production would often step in to provide things like a private chef or a posh vacation to create the proper façade. While most of the girls on the show quickly adapted to the pretense, Buffy did not. Buffy made it abundantly clear that she did not have the wealth or the social status, but she had something better. Buffy had hutzpah and a dream. Buffy used every opportunity to sell her brand, a brand that didn’t even exist at the beginning of the show. And before you could say “satchels of gold!” Buffy made a gazillion dollars and could buy and sell the rest of them. That dream turned into a brand worth hundreds of millions! True story!
This made all the other reality folks jealous and they wanted to do the same thing. Who could blame them? Some did their own thing, to moderate success, but others continued to flounder. Muffy, whose poor decisions landed her in tremendous debt, continued to bounce from one man to another for idea after idea. You see, the city is full of people who want to bring a reality personality in to sell their brand online. But Muffy made a big mistake. Muffy’s new friend (not Dick, let’s call him Paul) wanted Muffy to push his new product line. The only problem was, his product name was very, very similar to Buffy’s brand. So Buffy trademarked Paul’s name to keep them from using it. Problem solved for Buffy. Buffy went on being rich and hyperfocused.
But Muffy was madder than a wet hen. Muffy whined and complained to everyone who would listen that Buffy was being a bully and ruining her big plans. One of the people listening was Dick. And this is where things get hilarious. As we should all know by now that when you go on a reality show you sign away pretty much all of your basic rights. Your cast mate could say that you drown kittens on the weekend and skin them for fun and you cannot sue for defamation. Saying terrible things about your cast mates is part and parcel of being on the show. But Dick, who has absolutely no dog in the fight, was outraged that Buffy protected her brand. OUTRAGED! So Dick did what any GBFFN who wants to be on reality TV would do. He contacted Gloria Fucking Allred. I’ll wait for you to catch your breath after that outburst of hysteria.
You see Dick feels like Muffy is being exploited by her production company. Which of course she is. This is what they do. If the paycheck you so desperately need is not worth the exploitation then perhaps you could have quit, two, three, four years ago. The contract is very clear that nasty, horrible things can and will be said about you both on the show and in the world at large. Dick wants Gloria to stop production from ruining the lives of reality stars and treating them like chattel. Um, what would be the fun in that? And all of this over Muffy being blocked from hijacking someone’s brand (by proxy)? Really?
Yes, really. Muffy, or more specifically Muffy’s newest hanger-on, tried to hijack Buffy’s brand: yet, Muffy is the injured party according to Dick. Dick thinks that the person with the highly successful brand is “a con artist” and Muffy is the victim. Dick is quite worked up by all of this! And it doesn’t take much to get Muffy worked up either. So these two are hyping each other up.
I have questions. Who is going to pay Gloria Allred? Muffy is already practically gone Grey Gardens and based on what we see on TV is unable to afford a plumber. If you can’t afford to keep your home high and dry, how will you pay for Gloria Allred? Let’s be real. Buffy is already paying the orthodontics bill for dozens of lawyers’ snaggletoothed children. Hiring one more to file a copyright request and stop an attack on her brand is nothing to her. If in fact Muffy had not tried to highjack Buffy’s brand, Buffy might have paid for the Pink Plumber to drop by Muffy’s house and keep her from sleeping in a wet bedroom. Allegedly.
As for Gloria Allred taking some moronic case to basically challenge Muffy’s contract that she has signed not once, but SIX times on advice of her contract lawyer…. ridiculous. Edited to make it clear that Allred taking this case would be ridiculous and not one believes she would take the case. BECAUSE THIS WHOLE THING IS RIDICULOUS.
Muffy is struggling with empty nest syndrome and serious financial issues. Even on camera, life is not all flowers and lollipops. For the last few seasons people have been concerned about her self-medicating. Ironically, Buffy tried to be a good friend to her and point her in the direction of getting the help she needed. Buffy even offered to share her business acumen and help her with her multitude of business ventures. But Muffy’s mind is clouded and she can’t seem to make good decisions when it comes to choosing businesses or friends.
The saddest part is that Muffy is a very likeable person. Watching her cut away all the friends trying to help her and fall in with people just using her for exposure is sad. Muffy and Buffy are currently filming, but Buffy is over trying to help. Their trip to Mexico in the upcoming season may be muy caliente for all the wrong reasons.
Note: I don’t think you will be able to guess who Dick is, as I’m not sure he has been on the show and you would not be familiar with the name. I assume that is why he is Muffy’s new GBFFN though. So I expect to see him next season. At any rate, this blind is about Muffy.