It’s the last episode before decision day and I can’t wait to watch this episode. I know you guys have been dying to tell me things and I am thankful not to be too spoiled other than y’all still hating Ashley. The fact that her marriage is going down in flames is not exactly a spoiler. I wish I could get these up faster but I have to prioritize according to which show have the biggest audience here and we are a relatively small group. Those other people have no idea what they missed this season! The great thing about this show is that every season has people on reality TV for the first time. As we have seen with the housewives, it’s kind of all downhill after season one. Sidenote: I love that all the women on these shows film with no makeup when it is called for. It’s so much more real than most shows.
Vanessa and Tres
These two seem to be picking a permanent residence. Is that a spoiler for next week? Or will we be blindsided? You never know on this show, and that is why I love it. Tres seems a bit hesitant on the new home search. He doesn’t want them to cancel their current leases. Is he just on it for the show? We’ve always thought this was a bit too perfect the entire time. Is it just lust? Or will this marriage last?
Tres comes home with wine and champagne to woo Vanessa back to their (manufactured?) bliss. When I blog this show, I separate the couples into the groups of text. I flip back and forth filling the details in all in one place. I’ve just noted that Dr. Pepper wants David and Ashley to take some time away. So now, flipping back to Tres and Vanessa, it seems obvious that Tres did not spontaneously bring the roses (not from a grocery store!) and champagne and plan a weekend at the winery spontaneously. They are all following
a script the therapist “homework assignments.” Some are just more enthusiastic than others. Vanessa says, “This is what I wanted from my husband.” Sadly, there will be no script in the future. Will Tres continue this behavior? Or will he bail at the finale?
Vanessa and Tres enjoyed a romantic weekend at the winery. They had a romantic dinner, and a horseback ride that ended with Vanessa riding with Tres on his horse. Tres has some sort of allergic reaction to the horses and his face breaks out in hives. They cut the trip short and go home.
David and Ashley
First of all, I am on Ashley’s side regarding the Facebook messaging. If it was so innocent and about learning more about Ashley, then he would have told her about it. Also, Ashley doesn’t seem to know who the girl is. I’m not sure I could get past that. I’ve said that Ashley is going to use this as an excuse to bail, and I still believe that. But I think it is a justifiable reason to bail. That doesn’t erase the fact that Ashley did nothing to foster this relationship and is apparently going to end the experiment having never held her husband’s hand or hugged him at all. She surely has no problems hugging every other random stranger she met on the show. But I do think she will use this incident to sort of rewrite history to justify her lack of participation in the marriage.
David is back from Buffalo and Ashley says that she is ready to move forward. David apologizes for the millionth time. Ashley finally accepts his apology. Dr. Pepper arrives to chat with them about where they are. Ashley gives the whole unbelievable update. I still don’t see how this is anything other than a production intervention trying to make Ashley jealous. David gives his unbelievable side of the story. There were Frankenbites* by production in there that make me suspect. I have issues with this whole Facebook scandal.
Dr. Pepper wants to shake them up. She wants them to go away somewhere and have fun. Is that even possible? David gives Ashley a card that is a race registration that they can run together. Ashley gives him a apron for grilling. Well that didn’t feel forced at all. Said no one.
David and Ashley don’t go anywhere. A sign that Ashley is still refusing to stay in a room with him. Instead they go on a date to a zipline place a whopping 45 minutes from downtown Atlanta. Ashley’s talking head has the worst Frankenbite I’ve ever heard. They insert the words “Dr. Pepper” where she likely actually said “production” as in “Production wants us to go to this ziplining place and I’m contractually obligate to go so…we went to…” David is still trying, bless his heart, but Ashley is checked out. On the last bridge they made Ashley hold David’s hand for the first time and told them they could not use the ropes. This is the most intimate David will ever be with Ashley. The date ends with a huge freefall jump from a tower. David gets his first kiss on the cheek after asking for it for luck. Ashely reluctantly acquiesces. They both jump. David of course thinks it is a sign they will stay together. Ashley is counting the minutes left in filming.
Sam and Neil
Unlike the rest of you fucktards, I get a huge grin on my face just seeing Sam. I’m super overinvested in this marriage. I’ve said a lot of times this season that I see a lot of myself in Sam and for most episodes been very supportive toward her. Even in the episodes where she has behaved quite badly, I still see myself in her. So in rooting for her, I hoping to see someone who is a lot like me in many ways both good and bad get a happily ever after.
Neil is still in Vegas for the wedding. I wonder just how hard Sam tried to get off work. Sam and Neil Facetime. Sam has gone from the sort of scary guy with the “terrorist beard” to kinda hot and super attractive to me. It seems Sam is finally feeling similarly. Sam is blindside because she misses Neil and he says he doesn’t miss her. Neil is confused because she’s been sort of a bitch to him. Sam is either going to put up walls again, or try harder. We shall see. I am counting on the latter option. This was a great tactical move for Neil whether it was deliberate or not. But for now, Sam is bitchy about it. Sam now is going to stew on this, blow it up, and make it emblematic of the entire relationship. Don’t ask me how I know this. She basically hangs up on him. She goes to bed angry and alone.
Sam actually stayed at her place because she didn’t want to be alone in the new house. Sigh. That’s a bad sign. She arrives the next morning to Neil in bed (so how long would she have been alone?) and flowers for her on the kitchen counter. Production has stepped up their flower game this episode. Neil like Tres takes total responsibility for the flowers in his talking head. But he did actually think of Sam in Vegas and brought her back a couple small tokens that show his real affection. Sam loves his gifts. They are totally her, and confirmation for her that he was thinking of her and listens to her and knows what she likes. I would have viewed these as apology gifts. Thankfully, Sam gets Neil’s intentions. All is well with my favorite couple. At least for now. She cries and my allergies are suddenly acting up. I told y’all I’m over invested in these two. This is the turning point in their marriage.
Possibly because Neil was out of town, Sam is tasked with being the “weekend planner” and these two are going to Savannah. #Roadtrip They go fishing on Tybee island. They are adorable. They give each other piggy back rides on the way out. Showing Sam is still not quite ready to let Neil take the reigns. But she’s getting there. In the previews Sam says, “What frightens me the most is that he is going to ask me for a divorce. And that I will deserve it.” Oh honey, I see a great marriage between you two.
As I placed the photos for this piece, I made some notes in the comments. The decision making process for the promo pictures in retrospect is very telling. I predict that Tres asks for a divorce, Ashley asks for a divorce and Neil and Sam are the only marriage that stays intact. It would not surprise me if Tres stays, but if I had to bet, I’d bet against it. What do you think?
*Frankenbites are sound bites that production edits in to a conversation that did not occur in that conversation but may have occurred in a different situation. As a random example, someone could have said ” I hate you” as some point during filming about anyone and it could be injected into a scene by production to make it appear it was said about someone totally different. That’s and extreme example, generally they are inserted for clarification purposes to make the editing flow more smoothly. But on shows like the Real Housewives” franchises, we have seen them used solely for production manipulation. If nothing else, they are a sign of heavy editing for some reason.