Ho Hum… Really Andrew? Ariana and Sandoval? Okay. Let’s see what happens.
Andy shames Scheana for thrusting Shay in front of alcohol and telling Shay not to be a bore. Ariana seems to think that Shay’s drinking was not a problem because there are people on the show that drink a lot more. Because if you drink less than the #PumpRules cast, you clearly don’t have a problem. At least that is what the #PumpRules cast tells themselves.
Andy says that everyone with a brain in their head and some who have no brains love Kristen now, and they are like, oh no, Kristen is Satan. And while Ariana looks amazing, Sandoval is turning into.. well… the picture doesn’t do his hair justice. It’s even worse with the long greasy off to one side thing. It’s sort of Nene Leakes in the sense that it is an asymmetrical mistake.
No matter how hideous Ariana has been this season, I still sort of have to side with her over Scheana. Andy points out that Jax gets a pass every time from Sandoval even after he fucked Kristen with him in the next room. Something Kentucky thinks is just fine, by the way. So Andy plays a stupid game about what would make Sandoval break up with Jax. We already know Jax could do pretty much anything and Sandoval will still bring his luggage back from jail. But the game is “Would Jax Get The Ax?” Apparently, if Jax robbed him blind AND DID NOT PAY HIM BACK, he’d ax him. He didn’t sound committed. Andy couldn’t get a real answer out of him about fucking Ariana…because “that would never happen.” Please, that has to be the storyline next season.
Andy is calling the cast “The Vanderpack” now so expect that to be a thing.
Andy asks who Jax went into the store with. HAS HE NOT SEEN THE VIDEO TAPE? OF Course he has! They explain that he went on a booze cruise with Britanny and then left her on the beach, in the middle of the day, came back and gave them to her which she Instagrammed a lot. And she had no idea Jax had just stolen them.
BUT IN THE VIDEO YOU SEE JAX GETTING ARRESTED RIGHT OUTSIDE THE STORE! So since there was a cut in the video from TMZ it happened when they came back to the hotel, because the sunglass store is on the first floor of the building the hotel is on. She was like, “oh I forgot my sunglasses” and he went to get her some? Whatever. I love all this revisionist history for Jax.
Max and Faith hooked up but they aren’t together now.
Lala and James did NOT hook up in Hawaii.
Only Katie cared about Lala and Faith’s boobs.
Sandoval has had his tattoo partially removed but he will likely keep it because it is so funny. Andy pokes fun at Sandoval’s newly whitened teeth. And their new spray tans they got in the hotel room.
Miss Piggy wants to see the tattoo. It is faded a lot.
I’m bored with these two.
Sandoval is droning on about double standards and propaganda and Andy asks, “how old are you?” and Sandoval finally says 33. Ariana is all, “What does that mean?” And Andy says, “I just wondered
because you all act like you are 20 and it’s illegal for you to drink!” Ariana is 30. And still an idiot.
We have a clip of next week. Sandoval wears a backwards baseball cap. Because, 33.
Ariana says her mom was not happy about Textgate. Something about misremembering things. Chile please. We saw the texts.
A tweeter asks them to hold their orange hands up to their faces and asks if it will wash off! Does that mean they didn’t have someone come to their room? That is totally what Andy is implying. Ariana refuses saying she hurt her nail. ROFLMAO. Sandoval raises his orange hands up enough for us to see. Somewhere Kenya Moore is happy this is worse than her golden kneecaps last night.
Ariana is asked why she is more unhappy this season. Ariana says it is only the people on the show who think that. Andy says, no, no, it’s pretty much everyone watching. #ShadyAndy. Ariana thinks we can think whatever we want. I was so waiting for her to tell me that! I think she is obnoxious.
A caller asks if Ariana’s boob are real. She says yes. Sandoval is clearly wearing blush and someone asks if he has contouring going on. He denies it. He is totally wearing too much blush. Ariana, awesome beard that she is, tries to distract saying she has a lot of contouring.
The poll question was are these two acting like they are too good for everyone? 71% said they are acting just like al the other morons on the show. This pleased them to no end.
AND THEN ANDREW SAYS, “See? Our audience doesn’t wish harm on everyone! Just CERTAIN PEOPLE! They reamed Kenya Moore out of the audience last night!
Really Andrew? You are such an asshole. You continue to denigrate Kenya for no reason.