Teresa Giudice’s house arrest ends on February 5th and there do not seem to have been any violations after narrowly escaping being late getting home from filming a night scene for RHONJ. Just four days later, Teresa will be on a book tour for her new book about prison life.
We have just found out that Teresa’s prison name was “Hollywood.” We also discover that there is lots of lesbian sex in prison. Who knew?
We find out fascinating details like Teresa worked out a lot in prison and that she learned to read. Well, The New York Daily News article says she read a lot of books. I assume that is not a skill he possessed before prison. Teresa discovered that work of literary genius, The Secret which inspired who to make a vision board. My favorite part of the article is this, “Among her vapid wishes for the future: Earning $40 million to “take care of my girls and help needy children,” making her own yoga DVD and a Florida beachhouse.” And the part where they say that the People writer who did the ghostwriting, ” perfectly captures Teresa’s oft-whiny voice.”
Teresa also discusses her strip search upon entering Danbury and a second one after Gia was tweeting on her account and she was accused of having an illegal cell phone.
She also discusses having someone tailor her uniforms to look cute for her fellow inmates, and her prison glam squad that would do her hair and nails in exchange for commissary items.
It appears that a lot of the book will be about her witnessing sex acts and fantasizing about Joe. She also includes how happy she is not to have to wear prison underwear anymore and being back in her leopard print thongs.
I wonder how many idiots will actually buy this book and put money in her pocket? Please identify yourself in comments so that we might mock you.