I am not sure I can stomach writing this recap. Not because Nene is back. That should be fun. I’m going to go out on a limb before the show starts and say we don’t see inside her new house tonight. It looks like her “furniture” in her talking heads has been CGIed in so I am assuming she still doesn’t have any furniture considering how she blew up on Joy Behar when she asked about it on The View. Plus she looks ridiculous once again in the talking heads, and that is always good for a laugh.
No my issue is with Phaedra and her stupid political bullshit. It was stupid enough when we just had tweets and photos. I strongly encourage you to click that link. Okay, it’s starting now, I’m about to take this one for the team. God I hate all the taglines this season.
Todd and Kandi are in the car and Todd is setting out his rules for a boy child (no sandals) and a girl child (no perms). I can’t believe they are serious about opening a restaurant. Todd wants the Old Lady Gang to run the restaurant.
Todd and Kandi arrive at Mama Joyce’s house where the whole old lady gang is waiting for them. Mama Joyce squeals at Todd and hugs him screaming, “I love you!” She is delirious with baby fever. The old lady gang is not thrilled with the restaurant idea. Kandi says she wants to name the restaurant Old Lady Gang. Aunt Bertha is not down with the plan. She is the main one that cooks.
Our girl Kenya is busy on site supervising Moore Manor. What a novel idea. When Kenya went to D.C. the contractors slacked off. That happens. That is why you have to show up everyday and make sure they are on task. I know this because I watch a lot of Jeff Lewis shows. I love Jeff Lewis. Cynthia shows up to check out the (lack of ) progress on Moore Manor and to get the rundown on how Kenya’s family reunion went. Aunt Lori is mad at Kenya for going to her mother’s house. Cynthia is so supportive. She says it reminded her of the breadown Nene had at the last reunion, well she says therapy session because she can’t say reunion.Yet they show a clip of the reunion. It should be noted that as soon as Nene reappears, Cynthia will drop Kenya like a hot rock. #FlipFlopper Cynthia and Kenya cry together.
Aunt Lori comes over to Kenya’s house. Apparently, she is not too mad at her to film. She brings her daughter Che along with her. Aunt Lori said that Kenya needs to stop trying to approach her mother. In Kenya’s talking heads, she talks about being at holidays with her family where he mother was present. Her mother would talk to everyone else in the room and ignore Kenya as if she was invisible. Aunt Lori said that she left because her sister was home alone when something happened that really upset her. She was called and asked to tell Kenya to stop. Kenya says she is ready to let it go.
Of course we start right off with Phaedra. I picked a fine time to stop drinking. Phaedra is taking the boys and Kim, Porsha and Sheree, a trifecta of stupid, to D.C. with her. But first, we get a call from prison. Apollo is concerned that Ayden is not “being hayve” at school. Phaedra says they are co-parenting, but there is only so much parenting you can do from prison. #ProfoundThoughtsByPhaedra
In DC we have Phaedra in one room with her nanny taking care of the boys, and Kim being a mother to her sons in the other. Eventually, all of the ladies are tired of waiting on Kim so they leave her a car and leave without her. They arrive at the office of U.S. Congresswoman, Fredrica Wilson of Miami, whackjob extraordinaire. Let’s listen. Phaedra is “in the process of starting” Save Our Sons” a “charity.” I don’t have time to find all the Save Our Sons posts, but start with this one, remember this situation back in 2014? That was a SOS event and Phaedra was merely a speaker. #Stunts Porsha starts talking about her grandfather’s legacy. I can’t with this scene. Congressman Wilson starts talking about how people don’t like African American boys. Kim’s oldest son is listening. Then Wilson says one day a little a little boy asked her where the jail for white people is. Kim has had enough. She gets up and takes her boys right out of there. Kim gives her sons an age appropriate lesson on civil rights. Will this be the come to Jesus moment for Kim regarding Phaedra?
Next, Phaedra pretends like she has set up a luncheon for her congressional friends to thank them for….something imaginary that she didn’t quite articulate. Kim’s eldest son is the voice of reason muttering, “I can’t believe I have to be on this stupid trip meeting the stupid people of Congress. Who cares?” Sebastian may be my favorite kid stuck on a Real Housewives show. Nobody cares, Sebastian. NO. BOD. EE.
And yet the farce continues. Thankfully, for Sebastian, his little brother throws a fit and Kim and her boys step outside. We really need a name for Kim Fields leaving filming. How about the Fields Flee? Flight of the Fields? Anyway, Kim takes the boys back to the hotel. They play a clip of Porsha’s underground railroad scene. Then Phaedra starts with the subject verb agreement dialect…. “It is so many single black women….” I want to be in the hotel with Kim. Oh god, Shelia Jackson Lee. Let me hush my mouth.
Oh sadly, Kim is just on the bus and not at the hotel. Sheree goes out to tell her she is being disrespectful by removing a screaming two year old from an adult meeting. NOTHING so far on this trip was child friendly. But that doesn’t stop Sheree from judging Kim’s parenting.
The next day, Porsha dresses like a THOT for the march and Phaedra basically acts like she came up with the whole idea of the Million Man March. She says she is going to be the symbol for mother’s with slain children. Clearly she has confused herself with Trayvon Martin’s mom, who was an actual invited speaker. Kim is in her room planning her escape. She has to take an earlier flight because she is hosting an actual charity event in Atlanta that night.
Okay now this is interesting. There are unsubstantiated rumors that Porsha slept with Kairo, Sheree’s son. I didn’t believe it. Until this scene. Porsha is on the boy like white on rice. Phaedra just called it slobbering on him like a baby on a pacifier. Then Phaedra says, “man, you are LEGAL.” and Sheree says, “legal for what?” This is getting a bit weird. Even for these ladies. His mama is RIGHT THERE!
The speeches went on forever and Porsha got hungry so someone passed her pack of Cheezits to shut her up. Then you hear some man on the stage ask, “Who wants to be a whore?” And Porsha perked up and said “Now that got my attention!” At least she knows herself. That’s always a good thing.
I have a strong feeling this scene was filmed AFTER Jamaica because my understanding is that no one knew Nene was coming.
Cynthia points out to Nene that she has her blocked. Nene says she was so hurt by their friendship dissolving she had to just block her. Both women talk about how much they missed the other. The show scenes where the two fought a lot and eventually broke up. They agree to start over. Cynthia says Kenya is her girl. Nene is offended. So Cynthia backtracks and says no one could take Nene’s place. Then we go with the fake catching Nene up scene. Of course she found out all of this in Jamaica.
Next Week: Sadly Kenya Moore begins her ugly ways toward Kim Fields. I just have no idea why she would do that. It’s like being mean to the kids at the Special Olympics. It’s just not done.