Since Bravo insisted on making me tape Girlfriends Guide to Divorce if I wanted to record #RHOBH I am watching Married at First Sight in real time while Ben C is hopefully recapping RHOBH. I’ll have to watch the show tomorrow. I have too many things taping tonight and I don’t appreciate Bravo’s fuckery for ratings.
So tonight the three couples focus on their intimacy or lack thereof. If you read my previous post on this show, you all know I am obsessed with Neil and Sam. I really could care less about the other two couples. So let’s get started!
The couples have been married for two and a half weeks. That means they only have three and a half weeks to decide if they want to move forward and continue to build their marriage. Only Vanessa and Tres have been physically intimate, David has gotten no farther than awkward high fives with Ashley, Neil hugged Sam after a near death experience (Sam drove on the wrong side of the road on the honeymoon into oncoming traffic).
Vanessa and Tres
Vanessa goes to meet Tres for lunch. Tres is on his lunch hour from work. These two are pretty and sexually compatible but everything is quite superficial. Tres is literally a (used?) car salesman. He takes business calls during lunch.
This blond therapy lady, Dr. Levkoff, doesn’t have a clue about these two. She thinks because they are having sex things are going well. Vanessa is concerned that they don’t share a bathroom. The blond lady thinks they should. I think they need to each have a bathroom since two are available. Nothing good can come from sharing a bathroom with a man.
Vanessa and Tres have questions to ask and answer from the fishbowl. Mostly about sex. They laugh and giggle through it while mostly giving honest answers.
Tres and Vanessa have a couple of friends over for dinner. Her girlfriend and his friend see to be hitting it off.
Their segments end on a happy note.
Neil and Sam
I love Neil. He is surprising Sam with a date night. He is going to make kebabs on the grill. He bought her flowers. She appreciated the flowers especially. More importantly, she verbalizes her appreciation. Sam basically says though she did not find Neil attractive at first, she is open to that changing as she gets to know him. She wants to put the first two weeks behind them and move forward. They are making real progress.
Dr. Levkoff goes to meet with my favorite couple. I don’t trust her to guide this ship. The therapist suggests that Neil needs to explain his needs to Sam. It seems like she is doing a good job. She tries to explain that dominant doesn’t mean loud and abrasive. Sam still giggles nervously during the session.
Neil and Sam tackle the fishbowl questions. Sam is nervous and embarrassed by the sex questions. She refuses to answer most of them. She says basically her sex life is not that adventurous. Neil feels like some progress was made. He says they still are not even holding hands.
Neil and Sam hang out and chat the next day. Sam says that Neil stood up for himself in therapy and this started to bring her around. Now I feel bad for doubting the therapist.
No date night for Sam and Neil, but Sam has apparently convinced Neil to move. She hates their new house. I’m guessing she will convince him to move to her apartment. And Sam just said they will move back to her place until they find a new place. Neil is not thrilled by this, but willing. These two seem a lot happier together.
David and Ashley
David is also preparing dinner for Ashley. Ashley has been taking finals. Apparently, David is concerned because he has to use a skillet. I don’t think he has ever attempted to cook before. I predict disaster. The kitchen looks like a model home with no signs of actual cooking having ever happened. He has no measuring cup, so he has devised a plan to use a beer as a measuring stick. Apparently, Ashley has no idea any of this has happened and she has decided to stay out as long as possible. She does not answer David’s calls. David drinks beer alone at the table while his dinner concoction congeals on the stove. Ashley said the traffic was bad and her exams ran long. I’d think if she was sitting in traffic she could call. David doesn’t give her any grief and seems to believe him. Ashley likes the dinner. Ashley bought David a cupcake. That’s progress for Ashley.
Dr. Levkoff meets with these two. Ashley bemoans her lack of sexual attraction toward David. She’s not willing to do even little things to move toward physical intimacy. Ashley looks miserable just sitting next to David on the couch while talking to the therapist.
Ashley does not want to answer the sex questions from the fishbowl on camera. Because, repressed. David is frustrated. Ashley refuses to communicate and refuses to answer any of the questions and she walks away.
The next night, Ashley goes for drinks with one of her bridesmaids to update her on the whole arranged marriage situation. Her friend suggests they date and do things together. Novel concept!
David decides to buy fish with Ashley for the fishbowl. They get two. I predict they die within 24 hours. The fact that David thinks he is falling in love with Ashley is disturbing. He says Ashley is checking off a lot of his boxes. His boxes must be rude, standoffish, unwilling to put others feelings before her own, inflexible, a cold fish, sexually repressed, and irritating.
David takes Ashley for a ride on the Ferris wheel downtown at night. It’s a huge Ferris wheel and David is terrified. David defends himself in his talking head saying it was windy and the car was really shaking. I should confess that I was terrified of Ferris wheels when I was a kid. My mother was not overly comforting on them. So I sort of get it. But it was his idea! Ashley found it hysterical and moves to sit over by David. David goes in for the kiss and gets the cheek.
This week focused on progress and moving forward with all three couples. Next week, it seems arguments will return to forefront of editing.
So far, I see no chance at all for David and Ashley. Do you think that will change?