First of all for some reason this is showing up as a TWO HOUR SHOW on my DVR. That can’t possibly be true. I am going to guess that it is at most an hour and a half with half and hour of WWHL with Lisa Rinna at the end. I currently really don’t have two consecutive hours to devote to this, but we shall see what happens.
Also, I agree with so many of you, illness and death is not exactly where I want to be AGAIN tonight on a show we watch to see how the other half lives. I’m so hoping for Kyle and Lisa in Tuscany to be the main focus. Oh look, it’s Erica, aka the new, yet aging Brandi Glanville in the opening. Why must even RHOBH have the ratchet factor?
Okay, there seems to be a big difference in the way Lisa Vanderpump asks her man about packing clothes than I ask mine (when I have one on hand for such things). I’m asking for HIM, do you like this? Is this something you would like me to take. I am certainly not asking for his fashion expertise. If my man was a fashionista, I’d not be dating/married to him. That irks me. I get it is all for the cameras to once again show Lisa’s closet, but still. And then Ken has to point out that her dresses fit Kyle but Lisa is six inches taller. #SHADE by Ken? Really? Shut up Ken. Kyle is also decades younger and she doesn’t have to work in restaurants all day because Maurico pays the damn bills. Wow, Ken just keeps going in on Kyle and Lisa keeps defending her. Ken is the Peter of RHOBH who seems to want to grab a diamond of his own. On the other hand, Maurico gives a straight guy answer. Maurico says bring a black dress and a white dress and just change the accessories. That is a straight male answer.
Lisa Rinna shows off her ginormous diamonds to her girls. I love that she calls her husband “Harry Hamlin.” It’s cute. Lisa talks about how she doesn’t call her parents
unless she is on camera. This is not a good subject for Lisa because we all felt some kind of way about her trip back home with her girls. I love her, but her relationship with her parents, or lack thereof is not a good place to go on the show.
Kyle calls “Lisa Todd” on her mobile. I’ve never see anyone refer to her by that name. We find out that Kathy Hilton has apparently uninvited Kyle to Nikki’s wedding in London. That’s so sad.
Speaking of sad, Eileen and Vince go to visit Dick Van Patton’s star in Palm Springs. And Eileen talks about her sister dying of cancer. I’m sorry, I have to skip this part.
It’s Ken’s 70’s birthday soon and Pinky is buying him a couple of miniature ponies. Much ado was made about Pinky flying horses on a plane when there are many mini-horses that need adoption.
Yolanda already had all of her mercury filling removed and of course, unlike us pedestrians, she had hers replaced with white gold. Which basically makes her like a rapper with a personal grill you can’t really see. So now she is going to have those replaces with normal people crowns. And like all normal people, we all get to go to the dentist to watch her suffer. Dear God. I don’t want to go to my own dentist. Yet here we are with David Foster holding her hand. David cracks a sex joke and leaves.
Thankfully, Kyle is on her amazing European vacation with her family. AS WE EXPECT OF NORMAL RICH PEOPLE. This isn’t even the first vacay they went on last summer. They went on one like every other week. I would link you to the Mexican one (not about the wedding) but I just can’t. My search box is your friend. Kyle says that she never went on a vacation as a kid that wasn’t for work. Poor dear.
DEAR LORD! Were those really Pinky’s calves getting into that car? AMAZING muscle definition. Jealous and humiliated all at once. Pinky takes another jab at Yolanda. They replay Yo saying that the Amalfi coast gets boring after a time. In a flashback , Yo points out that she goes there every year and “it becomes a job.”
On the other hand, I love that Kyle loves and appreciates Tuscany. Mauricio rented a Ferrari to drive to the villa. And he’s lost. Kyle says, “Apparently if you have a visa, you can never get lost.” So true.
Later, Kyle and Lisa take the Ferrari out for a spin. Kyle says her mother let her drive at 13. It’s great to see Kyle having fun.
More about Yolanda. Her “health advocate” is named Daisy. That really boosts my confidence in her health care. As Daisy takes Rinna and Eileen back through the condo, Daisy offers to show them Yo’s closet of drugs. As any health advocate would. I can’t tell you how many times I have visited folks with serious medical issues and have been shown an entire pantry of drugs and then had that patient jump from the bed and show me to a sitting room. I’ll have more on this tomorrow. Anyway, Yolanda says she had two foot long parasites. Eileen says, wouldn’t that show up in a colonic. That is the multiple colonics Yo has? The other girls talk about how much they love colonics. Yo says she does colonics every week. To ME Yolanda seems to be pissed that Eileen brought that up to trick her.I’m just saying. CAN WE GET BACK TO TUSCANY?
Alas, even back in Tuscany we have Kyle and Lisa a talking about Yo and her removal of amalgam filling WHICH HAPPENED YEARS AGO, and not even her pulling out all the gold in her teeth which no one anywhere has said is problematic. Lisa says it’s likes like she doesn’t even think it is Lyme anymore and is just trying anything. Eileen said something similar. It’s important to not that no one has said she isn’t sick, just that she hasn’t figured out what is wrong yet! Kyle is explaining all of her misdiagnoses after her mother died and it was depression.
Later at dinner, Kyle announces she is in fact going to Nikki’s wedding. Apparently no one in the family except Kyle, Portia and Farrah are the only ones invited to the wedding. The Fuck? This is bizarre. I don’t blame Lisa for asking about it. I think Portia and Farrah are both involved in the wedding and Kyle was invited as their mother to watch over Portia. Maurcio Alexia and Sophia can apparently suck it. Weird. Okay more than weird. That is a dick move. Especially, since they all thought they were invited. Mauricio kindly suggested that she go anyway and he will be with Alexia and Sophia.
Next Week: Ken’s geriatric birthday. Not looking forward to it. And somehow this episode sucks. I am going to dope up my sleeping furbaby with his myriad of meds and call it a night very soon.