Y’all can hate on Rocky all you want but she was the STAR of this season. Rocky is to Below Deck what Kristen Doubt is to Vanderpump Rules. And that my friends is THE STAR! Please notice she is seated right next to Andy because this night will be all about her. And it’s a TWO PART Below Deck Reunion! Twice the Rocky!
OMG, Captain Lee is going to break my heart going after Rocky. #JeSuisRocky! But good lord he is hot. Cranky, but hot.
Connie randomly jumps on Emile for throwing him out of their room every morning so he could masturbate. That Connie. Such a peach she is. Emile doesn’t care and they show a scene of him wanking it in his bunk.
I have already seen way too much resting bitch face already.
I love that they showed behind the scenes with the camera men.
We get a long montage of the star doing her adorable looking at the ceiling thing in all of her talking heads. Rocky says she thinks they put sparkly butterflies in the corner. Or maybe dolphins. Oh, Rocky, never change. She says when she is thinking she looks up. Stupid ass Eddie interrupts her and Rocky is loaded for bear. She asks if his girlfriend is there because she’d love to meet her and has so much to share. Eddie giggles like a girl and looks to Andy for help. Oh Eddie, this must be your first rodeo, Andy is NOT your friend.
I hate how Amy is such a suck up this season. Oh Lord, Captain Lee, completely unprovoked starts sticking up for…. Kate and Amy. Oh Lord, Kate says that Rocky is ruining her professional reputation. Kate tries to say she wasn’t a bitch to Rocky. Rocky points out that Kate is being a bitch right then. Rocky says that Amy would confide in her about Kate being a bitch and then be twofaced. Amy tries to say nice things about Rocky without upsetting Kate. Andy points out that Rocky called Kate a bully on Twitter. Andy also says that “Kate is very active on social media.” Yes, she rags on Rocky every chance she gets. Andy reads a bunch of Kate’s mean tweets. Rocky says that Kate is just straight up evil. I agree. Captain Lee squirms in his chair angrily.
Andy gets Eddie to admit that his personal problems interfered with his work.
On to Emile. Eddie says his first reaction to Emile was that he is pretty. Andy asks if it is hard to be pretty. Emile says it is. #PrettyBoyProblems You may not be that smart Emile, but at least you are pretty! You can be the Kristen Taekman of Below Deck. For the record, you have not seen pretty until you’ve seen Emile’s Instagram. His full name is Emile Kotze . Go look. You won’t be disappointed. He goes on and on about how he is treated because he is so hot. He’s quite arrogant. Emile goes on about how hard he worked and he worked extra hours because he wanted things done right. Which brings us to Emile calling Connie a whore. Emile says he can’t justify that. Emile and Connie say they have a brother/sister vibe and constantly pushed each others’ buttons. Andy asked if yachting was kind of like running away from home for Emile. He says South Africa is a third world country (is it really? I never looked at it as such). He talks about the discrepancy of wealth there. He says South Africans want to go out and get something for themselves. Emile regrets going up on top of the deck with Rocky. That was a bad decision.
More about Rocky and her undercooked chicken. I don’t believe for a moment Rocky has any culinary training. Andy asked what Rocky’s specialty in the kitchen is and Rocky gives Andy a psycho look and says….. wait for it….”Killing people.” I am so pissed Captain Lee doesn’t see the humor in Rocky. He is sitting there listening to her with an index finger against his head. That is his annoyed pose. And if he has two fingers to his forehead, you are about to get a free airplane ticket home. Rocky tries to defend her cooking skills. Um, Rocky a guest threw up.
Everyone continues to talk about Rocky and Kate CAN NOT STAND IT! She finally just blurts out, “Why is SHE getting to talk so much? WHHHHHHHYYYYYY? Nobody wants to hear it. It’s all bullshit! It’s Annoying! And it’s not about MEEEEEEE!” I may have mad that last one up but it was strongly implied. Andy tells Kate to say whatever she wants. She basically says that Rocky didn’t deserve her tip. Oh Kate. You are just made because you got your tip by making Amy scrub toilets and Rocky got hers for having an interesting storyline and fucking Eddie. Sit down, ass clown! ( I stole that from a commenter today and have been waiting to use it. Apologies for not remembering who said it.) Andy lets Kate vent and then, goes right back to Rocky. Asking her about working with Aleks from season one who has ten yachts that he hires for. Kate is stewing for Aleks and sometimes cooks for the family. Kate must be livid. She can’t get a stew job to save her life. Allegedly. So the streets of Fort Lauderdale say.
Next up. Rocky and Emile dating. Because, Rocky. Andy delves into Emile and Rocky’s relationship. Emile says Rocky led him on. He is pissed he didn’t get laid. Kate realizes no one is interested in her so she decides to chime in on Rocky and Emile. Poor Kate. Rocky and Emile (who actually remain BFFs) have a little tiff about whether or not Rocky was mean in her efforts to make things clear she was not interested in Emile in that way. For the record she was. Suddenly, Captain Lee wakes up and realizes that he too is going to need to discuss Rocky if he is going to get any face time on camera. And he has a lovely sort of orangey red shirt on that needs some camera time. Captain Lee goes in like a real housewife on our girl! He says “If you get caught with your tit in a wringer, it’s because you put it there!” Which really has nothing to do with the conversation, but It’s just crotchety captain lingo. Captain Lee says that Rocky has never stepped up to take ownership for her behavior. Everyone else has. Well, I mean, sure there is that.
Fired deckhand/2nd Engineer Don comes out and everyone takes a whack at him. But then, Andy made it all about Rocky again. Don admits that he was enticed by Rocky. Kate’s misery has no bounds. Don apologized to Captain Lee and the whole crew for bailing.
Andy tried to get Dane to come to the reunion but Dane has cut off all communication with everyone since being fired. All the girls were hot for Dane. Remind me who he liked again? Oh yeah. It was Rocky.
Finally Kate gets to speak. And it’s about Leon. Andy says that Kate has a thing about people she doesn’t consider “yachties.” Andy is going in on Kate a bit. Andy reads a viewer question that tries to get Kate to admit that her problem with Leon was that he was not Ben. Leon declined his invitation to the finale. But you know who can speak on Leon? Did you guess Rocky? Because they still talk. Rocky says when Leon left he was done with the whole lot of them. Kate whines about the beef cheeks AGAIN. Andy asks her what the problem is with that? There are new guests for each charter. He makes great beef cheeks? What is your issue Kate??? She is just a bitch. Andrew doesn’t seem to want to hear her voice. Emile on the other hand has Andy’s full attention when he shares that Leon is working a charter as a chef right now and is doing well for himself and is happy. Oh that must sting Kate, whose charter days are over when Below Deck is. Allegedly. So the streets of Fort Lauderdale say.
Andy turns to Eddie and basically says, this is your second season working with Kate. You’ve seen what a bitch she is, who’s side were you on. Eddie said that Leon didn’t have much passion. Rocky says that Leon is a great guy. Kate says Leon was proud of making girls cry. Rocky says you can be told to say anything in an interview. Captain Lee says no one prompted Leon to say that. Captain Lee blows a gasket as Rocky praises his “art.” He says that Leon said he could really knock their (the guests) socks off if he wanted to. Captain Lee says what Rocky is saying is bullshit at least twice. I think Captain Lee misses the point that Kate was bitching at him 24/7 and Leon was probably considering a swan dive off the side of the boat as well. He was miserable. It’s had to care when you are miserable.
On to the fire in the galley. Rocky is called upon to tell this story as well. Kate looks around for something sharp she can cut with. Rocky says that there was a cup of wine that Kate was drinking. She asked Eddie what to do about it and he poured out the wine and said, “We take care of our own.” Eddie suddenly has amnesia and can’t remember if that happened. Kate is livid.
Next week: We talk about Rocky! and Eddie. And Dave (who loves Rocky) and Ben (who likes Rocky just fine) show up. And I presume we shall talk more about, THE STAR OF THE SEASON, Rocky Dakota.