From the official press release (my thoughts upon reading in purple).
Gallery Books, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, will publish TURNING THE TABLES: From Housewife to Inmate and Back Again by Teresa Giudice, star of Bravo’s The Real Housewives of New Jersey, it was announced [October 14, 2015] by Jennifer Bergstrom, Publisher. The book is scheduled for publication on February 9, 2016.
In her first memoir, Teresa will discuss growing up as an Italian American, meeting the love of her life and starting a family, finding herself thrust in the middle into the ever-sparkling Real Housewives spotlight,[If by being “thrust in the middle” you mean begging and pleading and to be considered for a year while lying, cheating and stealing in a pitiful effort to make herself and her family seem rich, then, yeah, okay.] and eventually, being convicted and sentenced to 15 months in prison. The book will mark the first time Teresa will extensively discuss her experience as an inmate. [Spoiler alert! Juicy Joe has already explained that it’s just a mini-spa where she has felonious minions who act as ladies in waiting to the wrongly convicted Teresa.]
“While we’ve all watched Teresa’s life unfold on television, TURNING THE TABLES will mark the first time we will hear all of Teresa’s incredible life story, including her recent stint in prison.” said Bergstrom.
What we will not be hearing about however is all of the criminal behavior, the details of her fraudulent activities. Because the State of New Jersey’s Son of Sam law is broader than the federal law and does not allow felons to profit from, ” any property which the defendant obtained or income generated as a result of having committed the crime, including any assets obtained through the use of unique knowledge obtained during the commission of, or in preparation for the commission of, a crime, as well as any property obtained by or income generated from the sale, conversion or exchange of such property and any gain realized by such sale, conversion or exchange.” So if you were hoping for salacious details about Teresa being nervous sitting in multiple loan officers making up jobs as a real estate agent or any of the other invented sources of income she illegally provided, that will not be happening. The book will be quite limited in scope to her fabulous life from birth until criminal. Then there will be a large gap where the crimes were committed and then we will hear about the tales from the prison cell. There will even be photocopies of Teresa’s diary allegedly written in her own hand about the travesties of cat fighting and lesbian hookups and I imagine about the dearth of acceptable shades of nail color available on the inside.
Teresa Giudice is a star of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, and the three-time New York Times bestselling author of Skinny Italian, Fabulicious!, Fabulicious: Fast and Fit!, and Fabulicious! On the Grill. (Quite a feat for someone who is barely literate. I swear ghostwriting should be illegal.) A Berkeley College graduate (Ah yes, that associates degree she got from Berkley College in Fashion Marketing. That particular college is a community college with many small satellite campuses in NY and NJ. It’s so conveniently named to be reminiscent of USC: Berkeley.) and a longtime supporter of The NephCure Foundation, (Yes, ever since she was assigned the charity by her publicist for the appearance on Celebrity Apprentice) Teresa has launched many successful products including Skinny Italian/Fabulicious Foods, Fabulicious Desserts, the Fabellini, and a hair care line. (According to her bankruptcy filings she never turned a profit on any of those. ) She lives in New Jersey with her family. (Interesting they do not mention her husband. Is this because he will be in prison, or because they will be divorced or because he will be in Italy by February? )Teresa is writing the new book with K.C. Baker, a staff writer at People magazine, and author of several other books. (Including such literary genius as What Up Dawg? By Randy Jackson.)
But wait! There is more. There is this from the Amazon listing …
The star of The Real Housewives of New Jersey and three-time New York Times bestselling author offers a behind-the-scenes look at life in prison, her marriage, her rise to fame, the importance of her family, and the reality TV franchise that made her a household name in her explosive and ultimately uplifting first-ever memoir.(Oh I can’t wait for the uplifting part. )
“People think they know everything about me…but they don’t. Not even close.”
Teresa Giudice, star of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, has seen it all, but nothing—not even Real Housewives scandals—could compare to the media firestorm that ensued after she was convicted on federal fraud charges.
The infamous, fun-loving Jersey mom of four was sentenced to fifteen months in the same prison where Piper Kerman—the real-life inspiration behind Orange Is the New Black—did her time. Her tiny prison cubicle in Connecticut felt so far removed from the glamorous world portrayed on The Real Housewives of New Jersey. What was a skinny Italian to do? Keep a diary, of course…(Wow, they admit right there they are writing a knock off of OITNB! )
In her very first tell-all memoir, Teresa comes clean on all things Giudice: growing up as an Italian-American, meeting the love of her life and starting a family, dealing with chaos and catfights on national television, and eventually, coming to terms with the reality of life in prison. Featuring never-before-seen scans of her prison diary, Turning the Tables captures some of the most memorable moments of her prison stay, including the cringe-inducing fistfights she witnessed, the awkward conundrum of being trapped when a fellow inmate had a…guest…over, and the strength she found while confined between four concrete walls. (I just threw up a little bit in my mouth. I wonder how many fistfights Tre was in or caused?)
Even at her lowest of lows, Teresa was able to live la bella vita by staying positive and realizing her purpose. I think she was supposed to reflect on her CRIMES and take personal responsibility, not live la bella vita. Friends, foes, and fans have speculated about Teresa’s prison experience, but nothing will prepare you for the revelations she makes in this entertaining and heartwarming memoir. A felon with a heart of gold, she is.
“The world will see a new Teresa. A different Teresa. Well, actually, the Teresa I always was.”
Exactly. She hasn’t changed a bit.
Tre huggers will need to cough of $26 for this. I smell a New Time York’s Bestest Sell Times. Even though it seems to be missing some major ingrediences.