The Real Housewives of Melbourne has almost wrapped it’s third season with final scenes being filmed on Monday, which is tomorrow here, but today in Australia because much like the known fact that Canadians all live in igloos, Australians live in the future like the Jetsons. Or something. But, instead of dressing like the Jetsons they dress like the cast of Dynasty Circa 1982. These are erudite global insights one only gets here at TamaraTattles.com. folks.
Moving on, because I am the world’s most important blogger ever, I actually got a tweet from Jacques Peterson of Daily Mail Australia alerting me to his exclusive interview with Gamble Breaux. I shall be linking a great deal to his interview with Gamble because as a boring American, it is very exciting to get a tweet from a guy named Jaques who lives in the future and I imagine him as having more of a French accent than a Melbourne one which we all decided in season one was less melodious than we had hoped.
So, my new best friend in my head interviewed Gamble. Pourquoi, Jacques? I envision that as being confusing and exhausting as Gamble stops intermittently to remark on the unicorns passing by outside her window. But Jacques did manage to get some information out of her. Like this nugget, “There’s some salacious gossip this season. I was shocked! It’s jaw-dropping.!” Apparently, this gossip is so damaging that Gamble is not even sure it will make it to air! So more shocking than being accused of working in the sex industry? More shocking than divorcing a cheating husband? More shocking than flying to some other city to buy fancypants cheese? I can never stop loving Lydia for her devotion to fine cheeses. Global warming be damned. I am thrilled to know that in the future, fine cheeses are still a high priority.
In other news, we have a new housewife named Susie Homemaker. Or Susie McLean actually. Potato, PoTAHtoe.. Apparently, someone has called her a “cute little rattlesnake.” She has a feisty disposition and that idiot Jackie loves her for keeping it real. Susie supposedly has ties to Gina, Chyka and Lydia, but it is Jackie who sings her praises on the foreign gossip sites. I am doubtful I will be #TeamJackie so I suggest we give Susie the side eye unless proven otherwise. Susie is twice divorced with children from the first marriage. She was also married to a soccer player for about five minutes because in the future there is no baseball, basketball or football greatly limiting one’s chance to marry a rich athlete. The soccer player guy allegedly had a drinking problem and that marriage was quickly ended.
That’s Susie by the way jumping in front of the other ladies for a photo. Shortly after that photo, I am quite certain that Gina whomped her over the head with a handbag that costs four to five figures.
As for Gina, Jaques’ piece indicates that her mysterious illness that forced her to drop out of Celebrity Apprentice early will be part of her storyline. If the salacious gossip that may not be aired is about her malingering, then my head will explode and Gina will take legal action to keep it off the show.
The Real Housewives of Melbourne will appear in the future in February. Lord only knows what century it will be when it airs in the U.S. where Bravo will air it in some random weekend afternoon time with no publicity or reruns available. If you are wondering why I never mentioned the Real Housewives of Cheshire, it’s because I had no earthly idea when it was going to air. So unless it is On Demand, I’ve missed the first episode forever.
And finally, I cannot abide Pettifleur. I feel the need to mention this is every post on this subject. Sadly, she is returning and seems to have survived the entire episode without being eaten by a dingo. Did I mention there are a lot of dingos and scary spiders in the future?
Pettifleur is disgusting!
Damn that Petite Flower bitch is back…
Her parents could have AT LEAST spelled “Pettifleur” correctly. It irks me to no end.
The first thing I did was check the photo to see if Pettifleur was included. What a waste of space!
LOL same here Cocotte!
Even though I knew in the depths of my murky heart that was her on the far right, I still held out hope since that photo looks nothing like her.
Great news! For some reason these chicks and the L.o.L.ers are my favorite reality casts to watch (RHOBH would be if they had someone besides Kim, with her friend Brandi making appearances again, on it). Can’t wait to find out what malady Gina’s dealing with, and what everyone else is up to.
brava, TT !!
i loved every word of this post!
YAY!!!!! I’m so excited to see Gina back with her 80s glamour!!! I love Lydia! (Isn’t she the one that owns the catering company?)
No sweetie, that’s Chyka. Everyone loves her. I’m the only one who loves Lydia.
Sorry, TT but I think you are right-you are the only one who likes Lydia! I am sorry Pettifluer and Lydia are back-I was hoping new women would take their pllaces-NUTS!
Lydia is definitely my favorite. She’s a special kind of stupid. I love when she doesn’t realize people are joking (“You haven’t eaten since 1964?”) Plus, the cheese…
Despite my inability to keep up with the shows you cover I try to keep up with what you post because of your nsight. You always come through and have been like a lifeline for me.You better believe you are the most important blogger in the world. Others may share this opinion (but I’m the one who loves you most).
TT is the best blogger for sure! First site I visit everyday! Thanks, TT?
After this crappy RHOOC season, and a RHOBH season they are going to ruin with more fake illnesses storylines, I’m looking forward to Petitfleur being the most unlikeable person on a show. She sort of looks like an angel next to the harpies of the OC.
I can’t wait for this show to come back!!!
My favorite is Gina. Love her. I hope no one tries to create a story line around her illness. What is this, the Illnesses (or not) by Bravo year? ?
you are not missing anything with the real housewives of Cheshire, its in its second season here in the UK and its rather boring, however if you want to know what England looks like not the ladies of London that belong to the 0.01% of the uk then you should check it out its a lot more real and less producer driven than any of the other real housewives shows I’ve seen
FYI i love Lydia she has this gormless aura that i like
Pettifleur must have literally “Switched The Bitch!” Is that even the same face? Never mind the body. She even looks quite a bit younger, right??
I like most of the fashion on this show best. Possibly because it more resembles those of my hay day. I think of Lydia as the pretty one on the show. She was also tolerable once she left the shadow of that horrible dermatologist’s wife on S 1.
Pettyfluer I try to not think of. She has bad taste in everything. Such a braggart.
I can’t wait, this is my favorite housewives show!
Okay TT, please note, Australians DO NOT dress like Characters from the 80’s Television series, only those contracted to the Real Housewives Of Melbourne. Melbourne is known as the style capital of Australia & the real Melbourne / Sydney socialites pretty much cringe at what hits the catwalk on those ladies – Gina Liano look like she comes off a Gay Mardi Gras float, but tolerance is key here so we smile and check our make up mirrors to make sure we don’t look like we put it on in a dark cupboard with a trowel like her.
Forgot to add that I love that you say we live in the future though!!! I saw the pics of their Melbourne Cup dresses and thought, oh know …
Love Gamble but she has been hanging out with that trashy Gabby Gecko chick too much, then she wonders how her name gets linked to rumours of threesomes and all the junk. Love Gina
Wasn’t one of the ladies pregnant last year or something like that?
Jaqui is pregnant
LONG LIVE QUEEN GAMBLE.
While I’m really glad RHOMel is returning, damn….Pettifleur? Really?
We had a choice…either import Brandi/Kim/Gretchen/Brooks or retain the aussie fool Pettifluer.
Bravo requires at least one HUGE fool per season.
I think the correct choice was made.
Petitfleur is totally oblivious in how’s she’s perceived or maybe she just doesn’t care Either way the ladies reaction to her is funny.
TT I laughed out loud at Gina ‘whomping Susie over the head with her handbag’! I could just picture it so vividly! Isn’t ‘whomp’ a fantastic example of onomatopoeia? Got a splitting headache at the moment, so thanks for the laugh. By the way, yes we are up to episode 3 here and I know Pettifleur is not popular, but I think she’s looking fantastic in this series – great figure, great legs in this episode.