I’ve been so busy during this preseason time of RHOA I completely forgot to take the arduous journey to pick up a screener. In fact I haven’t done that in a couple of years now. But I wish I had this year because I can’t believe these taglines. Like seriously, I am not sure I believe they could be this bad/offensive. But I trust Buzzfeed who was the first to unveil them to the masses this year. But a part of me still feels like we are being punked.
Click through the jump to see the taglines and for my purple pen.
Cynthia “Seasons may change but Cynthia Bailey never goes out of style.”
Of the lot, this is the best one, even though Cynthia speaks of herself in the third person. SMH
Kenya “Don’t come for me unless I twirl for you”
Look, y’all know I love Kenya NOW, but in season one, I could not STAND her. I desperately wanted her to be a one season wonder. And the whole Twirling nonsense reminds me of season one Kenya. The twirling crap is played out. She deserves a much better tagline.
Kim “Faith, family and career, those are the facts of my life”
On second thought, this may be the best one. But it’s kind of like winning the Special Olympics. Please hold your outcries about how your kid is special and came in fourth in the Olympics and it’s a wonderful thing. I don’t care. Truly.
Kandi “I’m a hit maker, and this year I will reveal the best one.”
Well, she seems to be admitting that her last kid isn’t the best. I’m not sure she realizes that though. And the kid may not even get here until January, so? #Fail
Porsha “I’m about to give you pure life, so stay outta my way.”
Fittingly ratchet. I hope she throws up some sort of gang sign when she says it.
Phaedra “Only God can judge me, and he seems quite impressed.”
In a way it is kind of great that Phaedra starts right off with some blasphemy.
“Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. “Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. “And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Matthew 6 1-7
That was Jesus there in the red.
Am I wrong? Or are these the worst taglines ever?
As an Italian Catholic born & bred I always suspected that J.C was reading this blog too 🙂 laughing so hard right now
Watchout, RHOA Ladies! This season Jesus HImself has the red pen out and ready for you!!!
Oh, I WISH Jesus would come to the RHOA!
I laughed out loud at gang sign
Hmm? Maybe she’ll do a tweak while she says it. Ass pointed right at the camera.
NOT tweak. Twerk. Sorry.
I LOVE the Kim Fields one – but I always liked Tootie. I’m gonna be humming the theme song now.
Fun fact – my mom wouldn’t let me watch the show because she thought it was going to talk a lot about sex.
The rest are some of the worst I’ve heard.
Porsha’s is the absolute worst of the bunch. Not just saying that because I can’t stand her either.
The purple and the red ink speak the truth. As far as taglines who comes up with this crap?
These tag lines are awful. Sounds like they’re from some type of RHOA spoof. Cynthia and Kim’s are the only decent ones.
Cynthia’s makes her sound old, & bland.
Kims sounds like branding, I don’t know, just not a good one-liner which I thought tag lines are suppose to be.
I wonder whether they think up their own tag lines or if they have help from Bravo?
i like Kim’s the best and Cynthia’s isn’t bad. i think you’re right that Kandi didn’t realize what she was saying because i had to read it a few times before i noticed, lol. is she also saying that Baby Tucker is a greater hit than her husband and marriage? Oh, Kandi. i can’t decide which is worse between Kenya and Porsha. the whole twirl thing is tired and stale but Porsha’s just…doesn’t even make sense.
i won’t even bother to address that last one. SMH.
I think int’s ironic that you quoted that scripture.
You should really look up the word irony then. 🙂
Lol
That gif of Phaedra was so nasty I threw up a little in my mouth. gah.
It is absolutely disgusting. Just Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
yes, Phaedra has seemed to be nasty (not a good nasty) from her 1st season.
Cynthia’s is the best. At least its true. She is so stylish and beautiful.
I love to see Cythia’s hair and makeup and outfits. The tagline does suit her.
Enough with the twirl shit.
The first season that Carole and Heather were on RHONY the ladies changed their tag lines late enough that the captioning company still had the advertised ones and not the for-air ones. They could change right up to air.
I do think these overall are pretty bad, but some of them do stand out. A huge reason people either love Kenya or hate her is because of her way with words. Certainly she or whoever came up with her tagline could have come up with something better. A bland tagline doesn’t work for Kenya. Porsha’s is fittingly uncreative and immature. Cynthia and Phaedra’s are just whatever. I like Kandi’s and LOVE Kim’s.
I do remember Kenya did an interview around this time last year where she said that particular year (season 7) she was given three taglines to say, and the producers picked which one they liked best. Incidentally, it was her least favorite of the three.
So IDK if we can blame the cast themselves for bad taglines… Anybody know if this year they wrote them?
The housewives are always free to throw out options to production. But ultimately production makes the final choice. Possibly even Andy. It’s clear to me that Phaedra and Porsha both wrote theirs. Kim didn’t she doesn’t appreciate FOL references.
Yeah, I thought it was weird that Kim mentioned FOL in her tagline. In any interview I have seen her in she seems to play down to almost cringe at any reference to it.
My first thought when I read the Big Reveal of the taglines was “This crap, Really?”. Cynthia could have done better. Kenya’s tagline is true Kenya and though the twirl is dated its not so bad overall. Kandi, poor Kandi who asked fans for suggestions for her tagline on Twitter had far better suggestions than what she settled on. Porsha…what Tamara said. I am ok with Kim’s tagline. Phaedra needs to lighten up on the religion tip as not much she does conveys the Good Southern Christian Woman she is selling us. I suggest for Phaedra more practice less preaching. I think they should recall most of these and start again.
The only thing that could have made Tamra’s baptism better is if pasture pheadra could have done it. I do think she might be tammy sue’s spiritual director.
Yes!
Mark my words…this will be the worst season ever. It’s a shame Nene lives beyond her means, because if she could’ve held out, they would’ve been begging for her return.
I don’t see why it would be so bad. I wish Porsha was gone and I wish Claudia was there, but other than those two the cast seems to be ok to me. Happy that Marlo is making a reappearance, neutral on Sheree – I think it will be interesting.
That is their tagline TT, Bravo released the video. They also have the same old music with it as well. I hate the music…
I love Kenya but that twirling is played out at least to me it is, Cynthia’s is OK and I love Kim’s. The other 3 can go scratch.
I have never liked the taglines.
If Jesus had a tagline, what would it be?
” If Jesus had a tagline, what would it be ?”
All of the RHOA possess a deadly weapon on any given day and it is located right below their
nose……proceed with caution.
The good ones:
– Cynthia : her’s is a reference to her fashion career and continues on from her earlier taglines. This is the best one as it reinforces her already established character.
– Kim: for a noob, this is pretty good. Safe bet. She’ll be the “normal one” this year, so this makes sense.
-Phaedra: It’s good because it reinforces her delusional made-up character for Bravo.
The rest are REALLY bad. So basically, 50% of them are good. That’s pretty good for Bravo.
Please start doing red ink Jesus Comments. On errythang.
Yes
Yes yes yes!!!
I think we should write their tags for them.
Here’s Porsha’s: Friend or Foe??? I dunno cuz I’m a nasty ‘ho.
Hmmm…on second thought that works for Phaedra too.
ha ha – appropriate for both
These new tag lines are ridiculous. I’ve revised them to what I think the women would say if they had known from the beginning that Nene might be coming back. What do you think of these?
Cynthia: Last season I burned my friend contract. I should have also burned all the bridges back to RHOA.
Kenya: Don’t come for me unless you are willing to do a lot of ass kissing.
Kim: The facts of life are you can’t be a ratchet “rich bitch” and still hold a peach.
Kandi: I’m a hit maker and if I wasn’t pregnant, I’d punch a moose in the mouth.
Phaedra: Only God can judge me but Andy Cohen made a good call on this one.
Porsha: Hey wait. I thought I was going to be the new diva bitch for RHOA. NO FAIR!!!
Hannah those are AMAZING.
I like Cynthia’s and Kenya’s the best. At least Kenya’s tagline doesn’t involve “figure out” or anything like that. I’m not surprised with Porsha’s though. The tagline truly reflects how dumb she is.
I don’t even understand Porsha’s tagline, and I don’t want to.
I agree, not a clue about Porscha’s, I need the gang sign.
Carlos King needs a new writer. What don’t we suggest some. Any ideas?
Whoops I’m sending myself to the WLS for bit for not reading the last few comments and seeing Hanna King Rose’s amazing suggestion.
For Phaedra I would stick with: Crime Pays!
i guess kandi wasn’t thinking about riley either.
No wonder I don’t read the bible, I couldn’t decipher that to save my life. Buddha is much more chill about life. This should be an interesting season.
I am 100% with you in the “twirl” nonsense!
Phaedra… damn, man. I was a big fan but cannot deal with her anymore. What a stupid tag line.
PREACH JESUS!!!!
I prefer Kenya’s “twirl” over “twerk” in any tag line, song, or dance move. Done. Done. Done with that.
I just hope they have a wonderful season, biggest ever ratings, so they take it as a sign “Nene, Keep Out”.
“In a way it is kind of great that Phaedra starts right off with some blasphemy.” – TT
This statement made me HOWL in laughter!!! Because… SERIOUSLY?! Geez, Phaedra makes me ILL!
I guess I’m getting old, because I don’t even know what Porsha’s tagline means…
Cynthia looks gorgeous in that picture.
I despise the person who, “invented” twerking.
Where do they sell those dresses that are all slashed up? Is that a Frederick’s of Hollywood kind of thingy? We don’t wear those in Montclair, NJ.
Told you I’m getting old..sigh..