Based on the title of this week’s Ladies of London episode, I can see that the ball jokes are going to continue all season long. And I’m good with that. I have much more popular things to recap in the pipeline today, but I am selfishly doing this show first despite the fact that you twatwaffles REFUSE TO WATCH DECENT PROGRAMMING WHEN IT IS PRESENTED TO YOU! Seriously, y’all are the reason we can’t have good shows on Bravo. Well, probably not y’all because you are reading this, but the other couple of million of you, are jerks.
REPENT FROM YOUR SINS BY READING ALL THE LADIES OF LONDON RECAPS HERE!
Moving on, one of the reasons, I’m in a hurry to watch is because something is wrong with Tinky. (Annabelle’s Twitter name) and I want to know what it is. I’m the only one however because the rest of the ladies seem thus far too self absorbed to notice. Last week ended with Annabelle doing a very out of character read on everyone at the dinner table one by one. If you missed that click here. It was really odd. I’m worried about Tinky! I’m also kind of worried about the Americans who have been on their best behavior in Denmark. The whole cast has gone topsy turvy!
The ladies are checking out of their fancy hotel to head to the palace. We are going to a palace, y’all! I am so excited. But first, Caroline must have her makeup dude apply her face and exchange the latest gossip in the traditional Bravo way of recapping the previous episode. Caroline Stanbury says that Annabelle has had a lobotomy. That would seem a reasonable explanation. But then we get to learn a new bit of British slang! Caroline says that Annabelle has been “Po faced” which apparently means humorless and disapproving. Let’s all try to work that into conversation this week so that we can feel very intercontinental, shall we? Meanwhile, housewives of both coasts, aspire to reach the level of dignified cuntiness that Caroline Stanbury exudes so effortless. She’s like a cunt satchel role model for us all. The bar that we should all be grasping for as it were.
Okay. let me just stop right here. I’m rather disappointed in our mode of travel to the palace. Sure it’s a lovely van, as vans go. It has leather seats and champagne is flowing. But I am traveling with a Baroness to a CASTLE. My expectation was a Bentley limo with some sort of staff on board to pour my champagne for me! I don’t want to clamor in and out of a VAN for Christ sake.
The girls in the VAN are talking about Annabelle’s po faced behavior. Caroline Stanbury calls Julie pathetic for feeling self-conscious of her behavior based on Annabelle’s frequent criticisms. Where is Annabelle? Is she in the van? I mean won’t she hear them gossiping about her? Do they just not care? Oh she is there. And Annabelle can hear them. I thought maybe Annabelle had the decency to take a more respectable mode of transport. Caroline says in a talking head that Julie is everyone’s puppet. And she sets the wheels in motion for Julie to be the one to call out Annabelle. Don’t do it Julie ! Your a Lady!
I’m a bit disappointed in the lack of turrets and towers of the Danish castle, but the interior does not disappoint. And there is staff waiting at the door both indoors and out. I’m dying. The art is awesome and there is a stuffed polar bear and Juliet’s room has it’s own CHAPEL! Not like a tiny meditation room. Oh now, there is the whole shebang replete with pews and an altar and there is probably the Pope or someone behind the curtains to take Juliet’s confession. Though I’m not sure there will be time for that. Because, Juliet.
Sidenote: Why is the makeup dude petting Caroline Stanbury’s ass while he lies on a bed with her and Sophie?
There is some sort of a museum with all sorts of stuffed dead animals and a human shrunken head or two. Oh and the penis bone from a walrus. It’s incredible. Sadly, I can’t find any photos of the castle and I don’t have time to search for them. You’ll have to trust me. It was awesome.
It’s time for dinner, and I have to fix my own plate buffet style? Are we in Macon or Denmark. y’all? And shots of I think Absolut and beer at the dinner table? Are we in Waycross? What is going on here? Annabelle is still quite sullen. But she does sullen I the most beautiful way.
Then the conversation turns to Caroline Stanbury’s gossip about Julie and Annabelle in the van. There is much conversation about who is up whose ass between Julie and Annabelle. As Fleming chugs beer and does vodka shots at the dinner table, she calls Julie out for saying the word ass at such a formal occasion in her home. Stanbury points out that Julie is growing some balls. Annabelle is irritated by Stanbury’s not so covert cuntery. Caroline Stanbury appears to be doing the blow bite and blow with Julies who is out of her league in all of this. But her real target is Annabelle who she is quite irritated by lately. It’s an underlying battle over minions. Annabelle does an overly exaggerated yawn while giving Caroline the hand. You know as in, talk to the hand. Annabelle refers to Stanbury as a cow.
Fleming is irked that the ladies are late to their 10 a.m. breakfast. Fleming goes after both Stanburys in particular. Dire threats are made not to be late to dinner with her father.
Julie does a yoga exhibition for a polar bear.
Annabelle gets a distressing call from her sister and cries. Oh dear God. I should have know that Annabelle’s distress would be related to McQueen. Apparently a biography has come out that is less than flattering. However will Tinky recover from this? Le sigh. The tabloid header reads, ” He ws fawned over by the fashion world and awarded a CBE. But a new biography of brilliant designer Alexander McQueen reveals that, behind the glamour, lay a man prone to shocking depravity and cruelty. ” Oh my depravity AND cruelty. Do tell.
The two Carolines go to a mausoleum to visit Flemings dead mother and other deceased relatives. She’s sort of on the outs with her father. Probably due to her divorce.
Annabelle charms Caroline’s father and another man with hunting stories. Apparently, she was shot in the bum by an Arab Prince on a hunting expedition. Caroline’s father was once shot in the leg. They exchange fancypants stories and laugh and laugh.
Finally a dinner with some service and decorum. It’s really extravagant. I did find the placecards a bit lacking, but no one is perfect I suppose. The bigger issue was the gauche use clanging of stemware to gain everyone’s attention. Marissa is seated to Fleming’s right with her stepmother to her left. This must jar Stanbury’s preserves. I expect retaliation for that. Especially when Marissa stands and gives an elegant toast to the family on behalf of all the ladies. Oh yes, this will not be allowed to pass without retribution. Count on that.
Lest we dare end on a civilized note, after dinner everyone goes to the ballroom, or dance floor as someone crudely called it. For some reason Sophie and Julie are litereally rolling about on the floor in their fancy little black dresses. Sophie is wasted and so is ulie and they make a spectacle of themselves.
And thus ends the trip to Denmark.
Next week is the season finale! I’m kind of sad about that. I hope we get another season but we probably won’t. Because, twatwaffles.
Annabelle smoking at the dinner table is shocking to me now days. I hope she only did it when her hosts were. Must be an old Danish custom still approved. I wouldn’t want my priceless artwork covered in layers of tobacco smoke.
I noticed Annabelle wore her runway gown to the formal dinner. Was it given to her? She is a foot shorter than the other models that walked. Probably made special for “Little Annabelle”. Once she recovered from the initial distress of the McQueen article, shevseemed the happiest ever. Could she be looking forward to press opportunities to defend her well known as scandalous friend?
You have to cut Caroline Fleming some slack in the haughty attitude department, although not as bad as Caroline S’s, IMO, being raised in that palace would set you apart as special.
I do wish Julie would spend even half the time on her face and hair as she does on keeping her body limber, and stop making scarey faces during normal conversation.
Smoking is still “in” in Scandinavia and I for one am happy for that. I try not to get po faced too often but I dare say life has been treating me like a fish mongers wife lately. I adore LOL and it’s ending way too soon?. That’s my po face.
Trust me, these people are weird. You can say fuck, but you daren’t call the loo a toilet. You can smoke at the dinner table, but if you misuse a wine glass or fish fork, you’re reprimanded. My father is one, and I dated one for TOO LONG.
this must “jar her preserves” lmfao! I’ve never heard that one before. Great recap, I’m going to watch tonight so I can see the castle for myself 🙂
The actual saying, at least in my family by my mother is “Well, if that don’t jar your grandmothers preserves.” I guess they didn’t have “pissed off” in their day…
The palace was amazing! I love this show too.
Didn’t care for this show at first, wasn’t that fond of the ladies, but now I’m hooked on it. There personalities and humor have grown on me. I feel like I get them and I love when they are just having some fun. Kate from Below Deck might be considered to have a “Po face.” Annabelle was very flirtatious with Caroline’s father and Godfather, telling a story about how she got shot in the bum by an Arab prince and she had to pull her pants down right there. They totally loved her. The castle is fabulous and you can google Valdemar’s castle to see it.
clearly the only way I am going to stop the google classes in every comment section is to ban the word,
Love the recap!! I too love the show. It doesn’t seem as scripted as the others. I also wondered about makeup artist stroking CS ass. Odd. Loved the castle!! I love that these women smoke on the show rather than hide it like the RH that smoke.
I love this show. I really hope they renew it. I like it so much better than any of The Real Housewives shows. I’m pretty sure the shots were Aquavit.It’s a spicier type of spirit that is popular there.
I so hope we get another season of LoL. This is probably my favorite Bravo show. I love how they begin the show with a cool song and these just kind of offbeat clips of them getting ready, saying a line, and then on to the next. I think it’s clever editing and I haven’t seen Bravo do that with any other shows.
Caroline S. was an idiot again, I thought. At the dinner table provoking Annabelle with that whole discussion AT Julie, right under Annabelle’s nose. Stanbury is a shit stirer.
Caroline Flemming came off much softer and sweeter this week than last week. The castle was pretty amazing. I can’t imagine.
And I loved the scene with Annabelle charming those two old men. She has such a great, hearty laugh when she lets go. She is really quite adorable.
I hope they bring this one back!
Great recap!!!! I loved this episode as well! The castle…the museum….the rooms..the dresses they wore to dinner. Why do I not know people like this?! Oh yeah….I was born in New Jersey. Dang!!!
TT the drink they had was Aquavit; very traditional in that part of the world. It’s basically a spiced flavored vodka usually Caraway. Saw it on the Food Network..now I’ll have to buy some and rewatch this while having a shot and pretend.
No one will read this, but as an admirer of THIS website (& commenters) and an American of Scandanavian descent (as well as a world traveler in my mind), thank you for spiriting my mental funkiness away so I can revel in this!!!!
Love Ladies of London, really hoping we get another season! Thanks for the recap!
I’m going to miss the ladies. LoL and VPR are my favorites right now, so thankfully Bravo is rolling from one right into the next.
I have LOVED this season so much. The castles, the fashion, the food and even the pheasant shooting was fabulous! I enjoyed it more than any of the HW shows this year by a long shot. I’ll be so disappointed if they don’t do another season.
Did anyone else notice the guy wearing the black ballcap at the formal dinner? What’s up with that?
A) Not a castle.
B) is it just me, or does Annabelle get prettier the more sullen she becomes? For once, after this episode, I almost understood the whole “muse” thing.
C) I hate people being martyred for no reason apart from being dead. I had the pleasure of meeting Lee (thats what people call Alexander McQueen when they are name-dropping, like me, to show that they have met him, are special, and fancypants) twice. He ran in the same circle as I 8/10 years ago. The first time I met him he tried to get me drunk and get his wicked way (I was 18, he may have been with a partner) and BOTH times we were taking lots of cocaine in my ex’s members club. I’m not judging, I was just as debauched as he, but he’s no pure soul…
D) I’m starting to enjoy Carolines manipulative ways again. She is very good at what she does.
But on whole… These ladies seem so much less dramatic than the other franchises… And it’s more enjoyable to watch! It’s nice to have the odd smile on your face! When will bravo learn???
I comment here too much. I used to pride myself at being relatively well read. Now I just watch middle-aged women argue on my laptop, in secret. Ilyana Fix My Life. *sigh*
Ha! I hear THAT! But thanks for the little peek into McQueenville. That was fun. I adore this show. And that castle? Whoa. Juliet was a bit intimidated. Like a little mouse the entire episode.
I think that may be why Julie “came in to her own.” She must realise that in Britrish terms, this ‘Castle’ was just a Country House. Mapperton is MUCH more work.
Did anyone see the signs on the doors? In Britain, or Europe, that’s what we have to have for the PUBLIC. Just saying. Someone’s “Castle” is open to the public. I’m gonna go through Debretts and check this shit out! Ha, not really. My name is Mark, not Meghan…
No one will read this, but as an admirer of THIS website (& commenters) and an American of Scandanavian descent (as well as a world traveler in my mind), thank you for spiriting my mental funkiness away so I can revel in this!!!!
Thanks so much Kelly.
You can read all the #LOL posts here http://tamaratattles.com/category/ladies-of-london/
I’m adoring you from afar ;-)!
Yikes! Yes, Caroline knows how to stir things up — but, more than that, she is good at verbally cornering her victims. No one can out verbally out maneuver her — so you either have to keep quiet (Julie on the bus) or try to go down fighting (Caprice Bourget), but either way you end up squirming under her thumb.
Part of Caroline’s strategy is to bash people with the truth or at least her version of it. During the past couple of episodes, Annabelle has been sullen and snapping at Julie … because Annabelle thinks it’s okay to ruin a current friendship whilst commemorating an old friend who died F-I-V-E Y-E-A-R-S ago. And, because the fact that Julie played nursemaid/chauffeur/companion for a year as Annabelle recuperated from a broken back and a broken pelvis is so inconsequential that it is best forgotten. Although Caroline attributes Julie’s independence to growing a pair, the reality is that now that Julie is building her business as well as working and being a mother, she has less time to babysit a 45-year old woman.
Loved this episode. Felt like you’re on vacation with them. Hope it comes back for another season.
What about the”grandparents traveling beds” complete with velvet canopies? Bravo scored when they got this gal to sign on, if for nothing more than to hear about Danish royalty. I of course watch just to see London, and the bad American accent of the brunette.
What a fun show to watch and I don’t feel the need for a shower afterwards. I really hope it comes back. This episode was especially great — I loved the scenes from that gorgeous home. Caroline F might be my favorite again. I want to start calling everyone “dahlings!!”
This show really is fun. This one and Manzo’d remind me why I started watching Bravo. The Housewives remind me why I no longer plan my week around the Bravo schedule.
TT, anyone who isn’t watching Ladies of London and reading your awesome recaps is GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL!!
This was my favorite episode of the season. Even when the ladies were being bitchy they were funny and adorable. The dinner exchange between Caroline S and Annabelle was so funny. I could barely understand what they were saying except for Julie growing balls which is a good thing, but their expressions were priceless. And Julie all wide eyed with her trying to follow the conversation like it was a tennis match–perfection.
I know this is Denmark and not Sweden, but the castle reminded me a lot of the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. I kept waiting to hear about a missing Fleming sister or cousin.
I need to start playing the lottery, so I buy a make up artist who will cuddle me all day and rub my butt.
I also want a castle.
Not okay, the season is almost over. How come the shows I love end so quickly and the ones I hate go on forever?