It’s time for Ladies of London and wait, whut? Did Julie just say she is having a bottom painting party? Surely she doesn’t mean… did she just say she needs a bikini wax first? Are we in Orange County or prim and proper London? Isn’t she the Lady Hinchingbrooke? Mon dieu!
It’s London Fashion Week! YES! BRAVO! YES! This is the kind of thing we want to see. Juliet and Marissa got seats to see Annabelle walk the catwalk and we are there! I’m so excited and so happy I didn’t try to rush through this recap last night when so much was going on. The show is Fashion for Relief and benefits Ebola treatment and research. It’s really edgy. Naomi Campbell is walking in the show as well as some other minor celebrities all drawing attention to the cause. Annabelle is wearing Zac Posen. Okay, okay I kid, she is wearing a sheer black negligee looking Alexander McQueen pictured above. She looked beautiful.
Never one to allow a camera to go past without her in it, Naomi and Annabelle sit down for a chat. The talk about the previous season. It was Fashion Relief of Haiti and there was some discussion about McQueen. Apparently, Naomi and Annabelle are great friends.
In more glum news, Caroline Stanbury is shutting down her office and firing everyone.
Marissa and Caroline Fleming meet for tea for their first social occasion since the made up after the whole #CougarIncident2015. Darling Marissa thinks things are in the past and seems to have brought a gift (overkill, trying to hard) for Caroline. I have a feeling Caroline is not going to make things that easy she comes in wearing a dramatic (beautiful) white cape with her nose quite literally in the air. She hugs Marissa for a long period and then announces she has the flu. Caroline talks about how betrayed she feels by Marissa for saying negative things about her boyfriend to her sister. Caroline is being a real bitch about the whole thing. They hug it out for the millionth time. Did I miss what the present was? I like presents very much. They don’t even have to be for me. Although, it’s best when they are.
Julie is doing a photo shoot for JUB. Apparently, she is going to get naked and paint her ass for an advertisement for JUB. She actually paints her own ass and does a super hero type ad and it looks fantastic. It really does. The photog actually says, “That was jolly good fun.” I love this show.
Caroline and Sophie go to lunch together to catch up on life. Oh and then Caroline Fleming shows up. It’s the full trio of witches. Caroline talks about her business failure. Caroline Fleming invites all the girls to Denmark. Even Marissa. Caroline Stanbury and Sophie immediately try to start the shit stirring with Marissa and the Americans.
Caroline Fleming was papped in the airport but so were all of the other women. Caroline says part of the reason she moved to London was due to all of the paps. They stay at the Hotel D’Angleterre which appears to be fabulous and is clearly comping their rooms which are all suites so that people like me will take note of the name. I am the target audience of one who travels to places she sees on reality TV. I took my first solo trip to Paris after seening the little twits on The Hills going there and drunk booked immediately because there was absolutely no reason for me not to go. Then there was The Bachelor filming in Curaco, and St. Lucia…and..and…well. It’s a sickness.
Something is going on with Annabelle. She is waiting for someone to notice and so far, people are just irritated that she was late to the airport. The two Carolines are like Siamese twins glued to the hip and oblivious to anyone else. Baroness Fleming takes us on a lovely tour of Copenhagen. I haven’t been there since I was a little girl and the only thing I really remember was my mother making a big deal out of the Little Mermaid statue. I’d probably seen 39 statues that day alone and was sort of over it by then.
Speaking of statues in Copenhagen, Fleming stops everyone at one in the center of town and says the guy is her “tenth generation grandfather.” The statue dude even gets his name thrown up on the screen. He’s Niels Juel, a Danish Admiral if you follow such things. Sidenote; The paparazzi are following them everywhere. But they do keep their distance. Also, I forgot to mention all of the fabulous furs they are wearing. It makes me want to yank one of mother’s out of my closet. Sadly I’m way to fat to wear it this year. Actually, I just looked and I don’t even seem to have one here. My nephew must have that as well. (Don’t ask.) Moving on. The girls all want to stop at the furrier, except for Julie who is one of the only ones in a cloth coat. She says she’s not interested so she might just grab some coffee while they do that. Annabelle is somehow offended by that, I think she is really just pissed that Julie hasn’t noticed that she is upset. This is how girl fights get started. Fleming bought a fur. It looks like Julie stood her ground and went for coffee solo. I have newfound respect for Julie. I didn’t think she was that kind of girl.
I’m not sure what is going on back at the hotel, but the makeup boy has been doing everyone’s makeup. The Carolines have a giant suite and must be attended to separately. Stanbury is pissed because he is her assistant and he is coming to them last; however, he comes bearing gossip from the other girls. Apparently, Annabelle is angry with Julie. Makeup boy wants the Carolines to stick up for Julie? Why would they do that? I thought they would be on Annabelle’s side for any cross-cultural disagreements.
The ladies all go to dinner at Giest in exchange for promotional consideration. They are gobsmacked by the round table. It’s as if the round table has been invented just for them and was not around as far back as the days of King Arthur. They are not good at subtly promoting the restaurant. Fleming blurts out it is her favorite restaurant in the whole wide world. Reality TV amateurs they are. Fleming tells a long story about how she made the chef go find her cheese to make something that was not on the menu for her last time, because, Baroness. The food comes an it looks great. Julie seems thrilled with her zucchini. Is she a vegetarian?
After the meal Fleming does that terribly gauche thing where dolts bang on their glass with cutlery. Did she miss a few weeks of finishing school? She wants everyone to clear the air with everyone so that they don’t bring any negativity into her home tomorrow. Okay, perhaps she missed a few months of finishing school. Everyone says they love everyone and they are very happy. Except Annabelle who says, “Juliet, try to listen more and go a little bit less immediately to your anger.” Caroline (Stanbury) be a little bit more careful sometimes when you throw your (unintelligible apparently criticisms) out because sometimes you know people get a little bit, you know hurt and they might not say it to you.” “Little looselips over here (Julie) occaisionally remind yourself that what you say might be something that you need to hold in…” Basically, Annabelle is going around the table telling everyone what she doesn’t like about them. I think that she is drunk. Before she can move on Stanbury in on the attack, She says, “I’ve got one thing to say about you, sometimes you come into a place and you’re like very, yourself, yourself, your not with us. ” Annabelle laughs and says, “Okay, I’m glad I don’t know if I am good or bad…” This is all very strange. Annabelle says in her (apparently sober and filmed at another time) talking head that she knows what Stanbury is doing and basically says she is trying to criticize her. Actually, Stanbury criticizes everyone, but at this moment she was trying to tell Annabelle that she wanted to know why she showed up on the trip with a face on and isn’t speaking to anyone. I actually expected Annabelle’s secret to be the dramatic conclusion.
Next week: We get to go to the castle with or without bad juju. They have a formal dinner with the Danish Royals and there are a lot of disagreements. FINALLY, it looks like the Americans are not the ones making the scene. And Annabelle gets bad news on a phone call…and then the DVR stopped.