If I was Jewish, I’d be verklempt If gentiles are allowed to be verklempt then that’s what I am. The Fosters are moving out of the Malibu house. I just spent way more time than I have to spend flipping through Yolanda’s Instagram back past Christmas of last year. I have found no evidence that the house has sold but apparently Yolanda has found something she likes in Beverly Hills. What about what I LIKE, Yolanda. Did you even think about my feelings???
Yolanda has posted that they are moving out of the Malibu house saying, ” Beautiful ending to a beautiful chapter of our life…… Colorful memories of Love, Life and Family will live within our hearts forever…… #SaluteToMalibuMagic #ByeByeHomeSweetHome #OverAndOut” I think I am more upset about this than they are. I can’t imagine voluntarily leaving that place. I don’t understand. Make me understand this, Yolanda! I get that she is very ill and can’t manage the house anymore but she is rich as hell. Hire a damn house manager! Don’t just leave that fridge and that closet that is twices as big as my house. Don’t go!!!! Please, wait! Just talk to me! We can work this out! I’ll do better! I promise to be good! I’ll do anything you want! /LOUD SOBS /FALLS TO KNEES WAIT! WAIT! WAIT /RUNS AFTER MOVING TRUCK DOWN THE LONG STEEP DRIVEWAY. NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
FINE! FUCK YOU! I NEVER LIKED YOUR STUPID LEMONS ANYWAY. I”VE HAD BETTER SUNSETS! YOUR AVOCADOS WERE UNDERSIZED AND DIDN”T RIPEN WELL! I PREFER A CLAW FOOT BATHTUB. I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY!
Please excuse me, I need a moment…
Leaving that paradise for crowded smoggy Beverly Hills???? I can’t…just can’t…
I would never leave that house, beach, or view, never, ever, ever! Who cares about the long drive to town when this is the place you get to come home to?!
I’m sure going to miss it on RHOBH……
Oh I’m sure the new house will be just fabulous too…
It truly is a breathtaking home.
I don’t want anyone to see the inside of my frig. Oh the hard times of rich people…so sad……
The Fosters’ house had a tile on the patio that was measured wrong. Regardless of how many times Yolanda re-tiled her veranda, the feng shui continued to impair her recovery. Her babies’ daddy Mohamed Hadid expedited Yolanda’s recovery process and assured her that her McMansion need not formally sell ( just as every house he ever built followed no building regs or city ordinances.)
Source: my brain, a dangerous neighborhood;)
You’re funny zoemonster2! This really tickled me! And i love that house too Tamara….
I bought it. You are invited over for lunch… no, you can come and visit for a week… err, forget that you can move in… no, no… I give you the house free and clear, yea, that’s the ticket. Enjoy!
YAY!
Look out your window, the SWAT team is arriving any second. I am closing escrow on that house Friday. You try to squat in my house and what that cop did to that high school girl will look like hop scotch when my security team finishes with you. That said you are welcome to come to my envy party. Be sure to remain in the section where we are serving the cheap champagne. If you see Lisa Vanderpump, you know you are in the wrong place.
I closed escrow last week and installed a new security system to keep people like you out. Pretenders to my throne. I even have a new dog to go with my new house. A bargain, some lady named Kim something or other told me he was sweet and I believe her. YOU can come to MY party. We are painting do-dads to hang on the wall around my original oil of my personal, dear friend Lisa Vanderpump. She was over this morning helping me clean out the refrigerator and restock it with pink grapefruit. Now I have to get back to work and try to get rid of the sticky stuff on all the door knobs. It smells like lemon and I really, really hope that is what it is
I think this is just a cover story – next week the headline will be David and Yolanda are seeking a “conscious uncoupling”
/giggles
If only Heather’s house could have that view, maybe she would be able to sit there and figure out how to be humble! I wish Yolanda nothing but well wishes and hope her next house becomes a home with new great memories.
I live in Malbu & can tell you why she left. Malibu is far out. That house is out not far from Malibu high school where her kids went but at least 39 minutes w NO traffic to any decent medical care. It’s paradise but you have to drive for shopping, drive for BH lunches & more: as some of the other housewives mentioned. The house is also right on PCH so it’s loud w exhaust fumes. We pass camille’s house all the time & she said she still lives there last time I saw her. So, T, maybe the frig, the interiors, the view w/o the distance & busy location?
Mmm hmm. Malibu is totally gorge. But it does have an isolated feeling. The sunsets are breathtaking and I love the colder air. Well, colder that South Central LA or Burbank, that’s for damn sure.
That refrigerator is a work of art.
We may never know why they elected to move. It was their first home together; he worked there, it is fabulous. Malibu. What? We can speculate until we are blue. Yet I know someone who knows someone, who personally (aka same circles)covets the fridge. If I get the tea, I will provide it to TT, without blinking. Just because it is curious, giving up paradise.
I expect that she wanted to be closer to My Love’s office and general work environment, so he would be home more. My friend recently sold her own beautiful Malibu home for the same reason.
I cannot image they willingly sold that dream house where they seemed so happy especially now when she is so sick. I hope they are not consciously uncoupling ; he is a remarkable man & I must admit I have a soft spot for Yolanda…
What was it, conscious uncoupling?
Yolanda’s a saint for having the patience to deal with that man. I don’t doubt he’s a musical genius, but he could be a bit sweeter to her. At least while the camera’s are rolling. I hope her health gets back together. She was the voice of reason on that show. And so charming and nice, even to someone like Brandi.
Haha! I only saw Yolanda that way her first season. Nice? Hmmm, not so much when she demanded Lisa Rinna drink ALL the chocolate milkshake since she dared to have her own preference. Voice of reason? Didn’t think so when she pretended like Ken assaulted her when he barely touched her arm.
I didn’t know that Yoya. I must’ve skipped that season. Well, I guess she’s not so perfect. David Foster’s still a doo-doo head.
David Foster may be so talented writing music for the stars but he appears to be the biggest jerk around. Not to mention he is a serial married! He and she think he is all that but not so much!
Meant to say serial marrier!
Someone take away her box of merlot. (I do not have fridge or lemon envy, not even a little .(Okay, maybe a little lemon envy.) And they may be smart to move off that hill. We’re looking at a super El Niño, so any overpriced house on a hill will be a pile of sticks in a sea of mud.
My ‘fridge is way better. It has beer. Nobody can see through the door. No one knows it’s in there but it’s mine.
I like your fridge
Farewell fridge of my dreams. May you be as artfully arranged for the rest of our days.
Oh, TT, you crack me up. What a gorgeous home. I can’t wait to see Yolanda’s new place. She has such good taste (in decor, not friends).
What a funny post. You crack me up all the time. ?
This house in Malibu is what dreams are made of. For those of you who have never been to the Bu, the houses are spread out on this huge hill/small mountain so everyone has 360 degree views of the ocean and mountains. I don’t get why anyone thinks New York/Hamptons is better than this. Weather is perfect because they are just far enough from the coast that it’s not overcast from the marine layer, yet close enough to hear the waves and have that ocean breeze blow through their sliding walls that open. It is heaven on earth.
but, what about earthquakes and mud slides?
It’s a beautiful home with beautiful views, but having to cross the highway to get to the beach makes it not my dream home. I’d much rather live in a smaller home with the beach right out my back door, but I’m a Pisces soo.
PLEASE hurry up and make more posts so that fucking walking dead face will be gone from your main page!!! Thank you.
Co-sign, Jujue!
Oops! I’ll keep that in mind with photos from now on…
Yes. I almost simultaneously shit myself and had a heart attack a couple times today when I opened TT’s page. At work. :0)
That’s David Beador.
Maisey LOL you are bad 🙂
LMAO…WOW! Granted, their home is absolutely fabulous however I do believe that the back yard is riddled with ticks that carry Lyme disease. I am quite sure they are aware of that.
This was super hilarious. That house is awesome.
Great post TT! I love that house too. I can see the drive into town being a pain and people not wanting to drive out to visit either. It would however be a great weekend house. Get something smaller (or not) in town and come out on the weekends. As of course…money is no object here lol.
Dear Tamara (in my Yolando) voice, I had no idea you felt so strongly about my house. I spoke to David and we have decided as a goodwill gesture, and an early Christmas gift we’ve chosen to gift our little home to someone special who lives in the ghetto (by your own admission) and makes a measly living by making people smile. That person would be you. The refrigerator is yours, complete with lemons and small avacadoes, the bathtub will be replaced with a claw foot, and you can even bring your bungalow and fit it nicely in my closet. We are, however, taking the view with us along with the amazing sunset. The only thing we ask of you in return for this offer is that you be kind to the newly hired house manager who’s name is Brandy. Should she get out of line from time from time to time just let Banjo deal with her. Now, do we have a deal? I’ll wait ??
Tamara, your MELT DOWN at the end of this post is EPIC!!!! I am in tears, I’m laughing so hard!! LOL!!!!!
This post was great.