It’s time for another episode of Below Deck. I apologize for being a bit distracted tonight, but I’m going to do my best. We begin with a day off in the Bahamas for the crew. This is why Amy is a maid on a boat. Everyone is excited to be the guest for a change. It’s an infomercial for Lubbock’s Landing and I’m ready to book a trip! Kate is trying to avoid Leon and everyone else is talking about Dane’s creepy, scary binge drinking on the boat the night before. The guys were filled in by the girls.
Connie used to be a sponsored surfer and Rocky is a very experienced surfer so those to will be surfing as much as possible. Dane is going to be getting wasted. Amy and Kate are going to drink and gossip apparently. Amy tells Kate she sometimes feels caught in the middle of her battles with Leon and Rocky. This pisses Kate off because she feels like Amy should be on her side. But of course Kate says that she would never put Amy in that position.
Dane is rude and demanding of the bartender. He’s also super loud and obnoxious. Dane starts talking about being a victim of a home invasion as a kid. Talking about how he wants to keep a shotgun over his bed. He’s not making sense.
Sexual tension is building between Rocky and Eddie. Rocky is a girl with many victims. She’s a maneater, y’all! Everyone tries to avoid drunken Dane. The girls basically bar themselves in their cabin while Dane goes behind the bar and starts making his own drinks. Eddie tries to wrangle him to his cabin but an argument ensues. Captain Lee is NOT going to like this. I’m guessing he probably stayed on the boat and has the whole place to himself. That’s a smart move. Eddie ends up having to call Captain Lee because Dane is drinking out of all the liquor bottles from the bar at there little Bed and Breakfasty kind of place. Captain Lee sends the tender to get Dane and take him back to the boat.
The next morning, Captain Lee gives Dane his one way ticket home. One down, two to go
Kate tries to make up with Leon before the next charter guests arrive. Leon is rude and disrespectful to Kate. Rocky is eavesdropping and is thrilled that Leon is “not taking Kate’s shit.” While I like Leon just fine and am not overly fond of Kate, Leon was completely in the wrong in this situation. When your enemy apologizes to accept it and try to get through a truce for the remaining four charters. Kate is Captain Lee’s golden child and I expect her now to go hard in the paint to get him off the boat before charter’s end.
Captain Lee meets with Eddie, Kate and Leon to review the next charter’s preference sheets. The next charter is Dan Caldwell, one of the founders of TapOut. Eddie seems to think is it a UFC apparel company, but it’s a huge mixed martial arts (MMA) company that does some things with UFC and WWE. But, my experience MMA fighters um… well anyway, it’s an MMA company that I am familiar with. I was hoping for Cynthia Bailey but I must admit Dan Caldwell will do quite nicely and help me forget about things weighing heavily on my mind.
Obviously, these guys are going to be guzzling eggs and sucking down protein shakes on the regular. They have requested healthy foods only. Captain Lee tells Leon to be sure to order protein shakes and eggs. Leon thinks the guys will bring their own protein shakes. I would guess they have their own line and want to promote product as well. But Captain Lee was clear in saying he wants them ordered anyway. By the way, Leon said on Twitter that he has a budget of $1,300 per week to feed all the crew and all the charter guests. I can’t believe that could possibly be true. There are four couples who want a romantic dinner. Leon says, “too easy.” I see the set up for this being Leon’s Waterloo.
Later, Eddie and Rocky are sexting. This is not the Eddie I know, but hey, go for it. Eddie initiates a sexual rendezvous with Rocky. Rocky says they have been eye fucking long enough. They dash off to the laundry room to get it in. The take us to a view of the washing machine with Rocky moaning… The next morning both Rocky and Eddie appear to oversleep. That morning Rocky and Eddie flirt and giggle. This will be important later.
The guests arrive and Dan is hot as hell. I want him to take that shirt off. One of the girls is a body builder who does no dairy and no butter. Everyone tells Leon they want really clean foods. They ask about protein shakes and Leon says they have lots of “proteins” (Does that mean meats or shakes?) Leon displays some cheap grocery store “protein shakes” and Dan is all “no thanks to that.” The guy is a major millionaire if not a billionaire. I understand thinking he would bring his own protein shakes, but I don’t understand offering him some low end crapola on a charter. Leon looks like he lifts. He should know better. Is he complicit in this storyline? Wait was that Ensure he offered them?
Dan’s girlfriend is super high maintenance. She has everyone wait on her to primp and put on makeup and blow out her hair before jumping into the ocean to dive for lobsters.
At dinner, Leon makes a yummy looking scallop dish. The thing is scallops are a girl’s dish in the mind of some guys and Dan is that type of guy. So Dan is unhappy. First, the ensure, and not scallops. Again, Leon is a man’s man he has to know this isn’t going to go over well. I’m just not buying this
The guests request chicken quesadillas. Captain Lee has parked himself in the galley to observe the dynamics between Kate and Leon. Kate is smart enough to be all fake nice and sweet. Leon on the other hand is still being Leon.
Since Eddie got laid, he is suddenly nice to Emile and Connie. Dan’s girlfriend asks Kate for a special couples massage to celebrate her anniversary with Dan. This is a girl who has hit the financial jackpot and wants to keep her man happy.
Leon makes the quesadillas. Dan asks to speak to the chef. Dan is not a fan of scallops or seafood really. Perhaps he should have noted that on his preference sheet. Leon says tomorrow they have prawns, filet mignon and lobster. Dan says he doesn’t even want to see a prawn on his plate.
Amy and Leon have a chat about his menus and Leon makes it clear he is so pissed at Kate, he doesn’t give a shit anymore. Oh Leon, you are letting Kate win right now.
It’s the second night and time for the romantic dinner. Rocky offers to be a mermaid fished out of the sea for the dinner. Leon’s plating is bad for this meal, for the first time ever. Dan wants to see the chef again.
Eddie and Rocky chat while she is hiding in her mermaid suit. Eddie admits to hooking up with her in his talking head and feeling awkward about breaking his “no fucking the crew” rule.
When the Dan talks to Leon this time, he gets a raving review from Dan. Dan likes him some beef. They also seemed to love Rocky being their mermaid.
On the last day, they have great weather and it looks like the charter is going to be very pleased with his trip. Once again the entire crew has to wait forever for Dan’s girlfriend to primp before disembarking. Dan was very happy with the service. He said he was new money and very thrilled with the way they were treated.
Captain Lee was impressed that the crew didn’t complain about all the primping delays on the charter. He is; however, concerned about the lack of cooperation within the team. Another $15K for two days work. $1,500 each. No shore leave tonight but the crew will drink on the boat.
The girls are have a girl party in the master cabin and discover Dan’s girlfriend’s extensions left behind. Connie shoves it in the crotch of her panties, which is apparently all she is wearing from the waist down for a Joanna Krupa style PETA shot. Later, she completely screws up her bubble bath watching duties and bubbles flood the master bath.
Meanwhile, Rocky texts Eddie asking for a little sex in the laundry room. He seems to be done with her saying “it’s a little late.” She replies, “It’s never too late for laundry!” So they hook up again while the other girls have some sort of foam party in the master bath. Nothing good will come of this.