When you were in college and had a big test the next day, did you ever stay up way too late the night before even though you know you needed your sleep? It’s sort of a self-sabotaging behavior. Well, that is what I did last night. I knew that this show and WWHL were going to be time consuming ventures so I binge watched TV shows until 8 a.m. Because, idiot.
But I am excited for the show to start and see if we learn anything interesting. My guess is going to be no. No we will not.
We begin with a montage of pictures of Joe and Teresa after their sentencing. And then a quick switch to Audriana, Milania and Gabriella home alone with Joe Giudice. Milania is learning how to cook sausages.
The agenda on this day includes a memorial service to remember Joe’s father who past away a year ago, and Gia going to her 8th grade dance. Joe says that the memorial means that they should always be nice to everyone. Then Joe goes in on Gia for her pimples. Because, Joe.
In court, Joe asked if he could drive the girls to the end of the driveway to get to the bus. She said no. So he’s shown walking them to the gate. I think they are old enough to walk to the gate by themselves. Around here, if you live less than a mile from school, you get no bus stop and you have to walk.
Joe’s cousin Teresa has practically moved in to help out with Joe. Teresa has been in constant contact with cousin Teresa to tell her exactly what to do for the memorial at her house. Joe says the Tre only gets 300 phone minutes a month but she has unlimited emails. He says she is doing yoga classes and spin classes in jail. This makes me think I could probably stand to do a year at camp cupcake. They are buying ten cakes from Costco. Joe gets emotional about missing his wife.
OMG! Teresa’s whackadoodle attention whore lawyer is on! Click here to read about him. He is more of a manager than an attorney. If Phaedra Parks was a white guy from Jersey, she’d be this guy. He says that he expects Teresa home on December 23rd. He tells Joe that the power is out at the prison on this day so she will call Gia before her date. She can email but she does not have access to the Internet. She watched RHOBH and RHOA in prison. That must have been a kick in the gut.
Teresa’s parents arrive for the memorial. The father will not go visit Teresa because he can’t handle seeing her in the prison. Joe is drinking. What happened to his plea deal where he claimed he was an alcoholic and needed the program in jail that gets you out a year or so earlier? I had wondered if he was allowed to drink while waiting for prison. Would he be stupid enough to drink on camera if he was not? Of course he would.
Over at the Gorgas, Melissa wonders why no one told her it was Gia’s 8th grade dance night. Joe talks about trying to talk to Teresa right before she went to prison. He said she was nasty, but then sweet. Over and over. He says, that’s Teresa. She sounds like a sour patch kid! Over the past couple of months they have been emailing. Things are getting better. Melissa wants to do more but Joe tends to go to his family for help.
Teresa bought Gia’s dress for the dance before she went to prison. That makes no sense. Gia makes it clear that there is still a lot of tension with the Gorgas. This means WWHL should be great tonight.
In her talking head, Gia says that her mom looks so much better in prison. She is less stressed and has no bags under her eyes anymore. Well, isn’t that nice. It’s like a mini-spa for stressed felons.
When Teresa calls she mostly talks to Gia who gets emotional. Gabriella tries to run interference by jumping into the conversation. Her father gets very upset and walks over an opens the front door and stands in the doorway. Milania runs after her grandfather to comfort him. It’s all very uncomfortable. Gia says that he mother doesn’t want he to cry in front of her father. Gia is his first grandchild and the favorite. Gia has the burden of worrying that her tears could literally kill her grandfather. Wow.
Gia says that the three youngest girls have been told that mommy is away working. Gia says it is true because Tre is keeping a diary and is going to “write” a book when she comes out. There is no way in hell that those girls don’t know their mother is in prison. If Gia and Joe are pretending that they don’t know for real, that is such a disservice to them. Teresa has to get off the phone because it’s time for her exercise class, but she sent Gia roses that she should get today.
The attorney has just planted himself in front of a camera and is awaiting his dinner. Tre has sent a makeup artist and a stylist to prepare Gia for her middle school dance. Or so the storyline goes. Did that stylist just give Gia a necklace from a Tiffany bag that isn’t Tiffany? Odd. Gia pulls out a Chanel bag from Tre’s closet. Clearly, they have learned nothing about living a life of excess with stolen money.
Joe goes to plant a tree as a memorial to his father. The three youngest girls share their memories. Joe and his brother Pete drink to his memory.
Apparently, the arty is for Gia and not for the memorial service. It looks like half the school is there. Every gilded piece of furniture is still in the house. Joe interrogates Dante, Gia’s very embarrassed date. Gia says they are going as friends. The party seems to be a cross between a memorial dinner and a middle school mixer.
The weird attorney is getting all the face time he ever dreamed of on this show. It’s ridiculous. Joe and Pete duck out to the yard where the memorial is and drink and chat a lone. Joe cries about everything. They are talking about Tre in prison. Pete says she doesn’t even deserve to be in prison. Is the dead father actually buried in the back yard? I’m serious about this question.
Joe is working doing odd construction jobs. Rosie shows up on a job site to chat with Joe. Joe tells Rosie that Tre talks about having to close her ears at night when all the lesbian sex is going on. Rosie is shocked that they allow it (they don’t) but Joe says you can do whatever you want to in prison. He makes a corndog reference about men’s prison. Rosie asks if he is going to get a boyfriend in prison. Joe just laughs. Joe talks about only being able to visit every other weekend because he is a felon. The oddball attorney explains in one of his numerous talking heads that Teresa will have the same restrictions visiting Joe. Joe could be incarcerated in Nebraska for all we know, so it really won’t matter as much.
Next we move ahead a couple weeks for Gia’s graduation. Milania isn’t handling Gia being the center of attention well. She blows off Teresa’s phone calls. Theresa’s mother goes in Tre’s place to the graduation. Melissa and Joe Gorga come to the after party at the house. Because the Giudices have plenty of money for throwing big catered events. The Joes seem to be getting along well.
We see a semi-drunk Joe getting ready to sleep on the couch and Teresa calls taking about watching Magic Mike in prison. Teresa talks about how much she can’t wait to get to home and have sex with Joe. Joe and Tre talk about wanting to grow old together.
I thought it was a cemetery in the back yard too! Just a memorial:) I don’t even think I could afford the one tree he was planting.
I kept questioning the drinking on camera too. Is all the DUI and license stuff taken care of?
I want to feel bad for them, but it really doesn’t seem like they accept any responsibility, and still act like they deserve the ridiculous life they have made.
PROPERTY VALUE who want’s to purchase a piece of property with what looks like a cemetery plot in the back yard?? Don’t they have to sell this “Mansion” and live in a real home like the rest of us??? I guess the rules are different if you are the Gudices, huh, who knew??!!!!!
I would think that the memorial could be easily taken out when selling the property.
I totally agree. I couldn’t afford the party they threw for an eighth grade dance. This is just disgusting that Teresa can send flowers and her personal stylist from her prison cell. WTF??? Where are the consequences for their crimes????
I don’t want to feel anything for any of them. I definitely don’t feel sorry for them.
They are raising those girls to expect life to be easy, self-entitled … always someone else’s fault.
Yes the girls are cute now but Ive little faith in them growing into self aware women. Sad, the potential is there.
I don’t understand the United States Treasury, why is that house filled with so many high valued items.
That makes me feel cheated with what we pay.
Great recap TT. I still have a little while before it airs here. I’m actually re watching the reunion now.
I found it to be very emotional. I also thought they were downsizing.
While I normally admire strong people, ones that don’t expect sympathy or always using a bad situation as an excuse for everything, more humility from the Gudice’s would go a long way toward people having some empathy.
I don’t expect Joe to grovel, but some straight talk instead of the shoulder shrugging and whadda ya gonna dos is in order.
I am rather expecting Theresa to come out with an attitude that she has paid a high price for doing nothing she thought was wrong, so people should not think negatively of her in any way.
Why such a big deal on a 8th grade dance and graduation? No big milestone. I see Joe’s brother Pete thinks they are wrongly accused. Don’t get this family.
I think the 8th grade graduation big deal is a cultural thing. Where I grew, it was not any different than passing any other grade. Where I live now, a lot of people do it like on this show, just fewer people at the dinner. I think it is a holdover from the old country ways of many kids stopping their education after the eighth grade. It was THE graduation.
It seems to be the recent generation of parents that make every so called “event” into a mini wedding! My daughter was so shocked and somewhat put-out that I wasn’t throwing her a party or planning some lavish gift! I told her we didn’t really think of getting out of the 8th grade as some big event but as something expected-did not go over too well, but somehow she survived it!
I am full blown Italian and we did not have huge celebrations over things like 8th grade graduations. I was allowed to get my ears pierced for graduating BC my family IS old school. I don’t understand the parties and flaunting of wealth that they should not have. Those poor subcontractors and apartment tenets are the ones who are financing these get togethers. Oh, not sure if it has been posted and not moderated, but Juicy’s dad apparently died in the spot where the memorial is.. I wonder what the plan is when they finally get the boot from that monster house.
I grew up in Jersey and the 8th grade graduation was a thing then (the 70’s). We were told while we were practicing for it that one in three of us wouldn’t graduate high school because they’d drop out before that. Now this was a middle class neighborhood not somewhere this was commonplace. I remember thinking then…way to set the bar low folks.
It’s more to do with this generation of parents. It’s not cultural at all.
Agree with other commenters that this seems to be a recent thing. Goes along with self-esteem teaching/parenting, like when every kid gets a ribbon at sports day, not just the winners. Watching this I thought wow, these people are making a bigger deal out of this than my college graduation! I think it really detracts from high school and college graduations. I’ve heard of “graduating” from kindergarten as well. Once you’ve been through so many “graduations”, it’s not really that big of a deal at some point isn’t it?
Ditto
Why are they doing this show?
You’re kidding, right?
No. I am serious. I guess for money
Seems like they are annoyed doing it.
Don’t forget the fame and publicity but yeah, money.
I can’t believe that people are wanting to watch (and put money in the guidice felons pocket) the rhonj. I’m angry that Bravo and Andy Cohen would even consider having these convicts, Teresa and joe guidice have a TV show. I encourage everyone to boycott bravo TV, and any show that would have Teresa and Joe guidice on it. Any channel or producer that would put money in the pockets of these criminals should be boycotted immediately. They are using their children as a reason for viewers to watch. They are disgusting. They cheated the banks and cheated honest citizens and had 41 counts of fraud, tax evasion, lying on loan applications, and after they acquired supposedly written , 11 million dollars. They filed for bankruptcy so they wouldn’t have to pay any of it . so they lived the life of millionaires using other peoples money. Thank you for the article in your column Tamara.
It is obvious to me they are still in the same mindframe of they did nothing wrong. I think they plan on Tre getting out and sucking up some Bravo coins to keep the house. (It was for sale before Bravo came knocking, right?)
Did anyone else notice Audriana sticking her finger in Juicy’s wine then sucking the wine off of it? (happened when Tre called before the memorial/dance extravaganza)
I saw…makes you wonder if she does not get a “sippy cup” of wine at the supper table.
That’s not uncommon in europe though for children to drink wine.
Joe had me convinced he was sleeping on the couch because I sleep on the couch a lot. But on WWHL when he said he was back in the bedroom, I got to wondering if the couch thing wasn’t just a production stunt either because it is easier to film in the living room or because for some reason he didn’t want the bedroom show.
#TTConspiracyTheory
ha ha LOL ha ha
He keeps his blowup dolls in that huge walk-in closet. Off limits to production.
#blowupdollsconspiracy
BTW, I hate their big bedroom. Doesn’t seem cozy or like a sanctuary just a big tiled floored mausoleum.
Where are the books? <~~ sarcasm
I can only imagine he is probably a total slob. Gross. There is probably old stale glitter and nasty old panties from random “fans” lost in the mess. *shudder*
Oh dear G-d I just hurt myself laughing at this.
What about the new promo? Shakedown? Sounds like a line from a movie. #TTConspiracyTheory
A shake down is when your leaned on, pressured. Teresa got tossed or searched.
Milania may be thought of as cute now – but seriously, how she was talking to Gia’s date was inappropriate. My mother and father would have blown a gasket that I was embarrassing a guest in their home in that way. That was rude and mean to that young man. (Plus very revealing on how she is being taught to be so superficial.)
I felt badly that they would have all those people over – family, etc. at the dance dinner – and they wouldn’t invite her godfather (esp. knowing that the kids are at school together)
Agree
The little girls need therapy. They have a lot of issues. I have always thought they act like brats but now that’s the least of their issues. I do think Tre for the most part tries really hard to be a good mom but I think she falls short in many areas. She loves them though. They are loved.
I have NEVER found Milania cute due to her obnoxious behaviour that is not only ignored by the parents,but encouraged. She’ll grow up thinking she’s entitled to say and do what she wants to whom she wants. Sick and disgusting on the part of the parents, I thought Italians were all about respect. Poor kid has no hope.
It seems like a whole bunch of people stuck to their guns about not watching this mess. I wonder if it fails to draw a crowd if Andy would rethink bringing Tre back, or renegotiate her salary.
we’re the ratings low?
I’m not watching, not even the clips! I’ll be reading your recaps though!
Not watching, just reading the recaps here.
Okay! I confess. I watched about 5 minutes of it. But I was flipping channels and doing a bunch of paperwork while I had the TV on, so that doesn’t count. Does it? :0(
Those girls are all mini Theresa’s. Milania is the worst. The oldest one seems to be the most grounded, but still very oblivious to many things. SMH.
I also didn’t watch but have read recaps from the show. I honestly feel ANGRY watching and I have enough stuff to deal with in my real life that I don’t need to get all bent out of shape over Fort Felonious Façade.
I just saw the ratings. Wow. They lost their time slot – and lost SIGNIFICANTLY – to repeats of The Big Bang Theory on TBS. Lets ponder this – they LOST to RERUNS that everyone has seen at least three times already – episodes that are widely available online and on DVD – episodes that people have seen and laughed at and know the jokes ahead of viewing. They LOST to this. And they lost to a movie on FX. and a movie on ABC Family. and Cartoon Network. and the Kardahians. and the Walking Dead. Seriously. Bad bad bad bad bad ratings and they lost lost lost lost lost their time slot.
Am I gloating? Am I reveling in #felonsbybravo failing? Am I rejoicing in the fact that people actually stuck to their guns and didn’t watch this?
Hell fucking yes.
Hate to poop on your party, Xanadude but the ratings were 1.23 million which is enough to renew any regular Bravo show for another season. You don’t compare Bravo numbers to the networks you mentioned. That’s all irrelevant. Bravo’s highest rated show RHOA, would not have beaten most of those other shows. Bravo is thrilled with the ratings.
Thanks, TT, for watching this so I don’t have to. Your recaps are 1000% better than the shows, anyway! These people and their lack of responsibility-taking sickens me.
Did they plant a memorial tree on the property that they will eventually have to lose? If so, this makes no sense.
Me, too, Canadacat. The last time I watched an episode, Dina was a Housewife…maybe season one or two. But I love TT’s recaps, tea, and comments. Thank you, TT.
I really hope Gia’s teenage rebellion comes in the form of frugality and anti consumerism as well as an education.
You obviously haven’t seen her music videos. Neither Frugality, anti consumerism or education come to mind watching the video. Just the opposite, actually.
Our parents have a huge influence on who we become as adults, even though most of us are loathe to admit it. In that environment, even if Joe and Theresa weren’t felons, those girls don’t stand much of a chance of becoming thoughtful, selfless, responsible grown-ups.
I have some relatives like the Giudices. Trust me, the kids are not alright.
I think the girl has a career in public speaking/PR. She’s quite articulate for someone her age. She chooses her words carefully and speaks clearly. I was really impressed by her. Have you spent any time with a 14-year-old lately? I haven’t met many who express themselves as well as Gia does. Of course, she’s playing mini-mom while Teresa is in jail, so she’s had to grow up quickly. It will be interesting to see what happens when Terese comes home. Will she play mini-dad or will she rebel and check out.
Just some personal thoughts on the children. Gia could go either way. But, unfortunately, I believe she will be a mini-Tre. Gabriella maybe the one that keeps her head on straight. Milania, she’s going to be trouble. She has watched all the extravagance bestowed on Gia. Will she be resentful if she doesn’t receive the same? I wonder what Audrianna will think when she realizes that her parents lied to her about why her Mother is really in prison?
I refuse to be a party to putting one dime in the pokets of these people by watching this shit. And Andy! He has no morals. He has risen to the top of the same list that the felons are on. All he cares about is the almighty dollar. Thanks for your recap Tamara. I WILL NOT watch one minute of these people. Your recap just proved how disgusting I knew that the show was going to be.
I have a few questions that have been “bothering me”. First, this memorial in the back yard. Is this the cemetery plot for Joe’s father or just a memorial? Either way, doesn’t this affect the sale value of this property, the property I THOUGHT they were going to use to satisfy a SMALL portion of what they owe their creditors? Maybe this is why I continue to read the “Mansion” sale price keeps going down, who the hell wants to purchase property with a memorial in the back yard??? Second, in the time since last the Gudice’s were on tv the behavior of the daughters has not changed at all. If anything they are more self-centered. If the eldest daughter and the father believe for one second that the younger girls don’t know where their mother is, then they are really out of touch with reality. Teresa says “we as Italians don’t believe in therapy”, if her girls have any hope to grow up as happy emotionally healthy women Teresa better change her thought process, she should be asking all her “hook-ups” to give her the names of good child psychiatrists, one for each girl. I have no sympathy for Joe or Teresa but their children will one day be let loose on society, a place where, they will be held accountable for their behavior something I don’t think they are learning now as children. As a mom, I would NEVER allow my 14yo daughter to wear a full face of makeup and pick out a dress that made her look like a “prost-ta-tot” to go to a dance with what appeared to be little supervision cuz’ after all, 14yo are old enough to supervise themselves. Can you say Gia “mommy”?? Send out a message that you are a fully grown woman with all the makeup and push up bra (comon girls you saw, right), the clothes, and you are going to attract suitors willing to accommodate your new sexual feelings right??? Finally, Teresa, working at the day spa no more bags under her eyes, HOW WONDERFUL, we should all be so lucky. Once Teresa has finished “checking in” can we “check her off” the tv??? Doesn’t she get it, people are not laughing WITH her, they are laughing AT her.
Jmo bash the adults all you want to but lay off with all the judgemental hate for a 14 year old girl. These children have to appear on TV while going through all this family drama and that poor child probably feels like she has to hold everything together perfectly. I love it here at TT because there’s a compassion factor.
I don’t think it’s bee directed at Gia. I read this as a criticism of the parents and the environment she’s being brought up in. Values are based on how you look, act, and material possessions, and if you can’t pay for it yourself, just take it anyway. How the f is Gia supposed to turn out???
Can’t agree with you about Gia. Her hair, makeup and clothing were appropriate for an event at her age, and it doesn’t give anyone the licence to push themselves on her.
Crime does pay apparently.
As a resident of NJ, I am saddened to see felons like the Giudices and their oily “attorney” Leonard seemingly glorified on national television. Their house is in FORECLOSURE, so the large marble memorial installation in the backyard is incomprehensible. Either Joe is kidding himself that they will be able to retain ownership, or Bravo is paying them a LOT more money than I thought. Meanwhile, their creditors are left unpaid the $13M they owe. Hopefully the federal prosecutors are watching this disgusting display carefully, as it’s obvious they lied yet AGAIN about selling off anything of value in the house (Chanel & Gucci have pretty high resale values for a start)! Sickening.
Bravo most likely threw the parties in exchange for filming.
The attorney’s eyebrows creeped me out! Botox overload!
I did the walk of shame to the computer because I actually watched this show. I felt zero sympathy for any of them (well, maybe Joe Gorga. OMG — that man has the most beautiful eyes.) Nothing has changed!! Same over the top behavior, absolutely no accountability, and continued ridiculous materialism, especially considering they wrote off millions in debt. A dozen cakes and pink roses, diamond jewelry, designer hand bag, etc…. Ugh
I haven’t watched New Jersey in three or four years, but this caught by eye so I watched it this afternoon.
I don’t care how fraudulent they are, I just feel sorry for them. They are seriously dumb and I can’t even rip on them for that. Maybe now with all these consequences they will figure out that you have to follow the law.
Also, I couldn’t BELIEVE how old their girls are now! Especially Gia! She has become such a sweet kid. But she looks so grown up. I guess that’s what happens. That was very surprising to me since I hadn’t seen them in so long.
Anyway, this was just sad. I cried watching those poor girls breaking down.
What consequences??? They are still living the exact same life, even from jail! It’s disgusting. How can anyone feel sorry for people who ripped off the taxpayers and don’t care one bit? I’m completely perplexed.
I think calling the girls brats and concluding that they will be mini Teresa’s is off-limits, mean, and judgmental. While environment plays a role in your child’s development/character it is also equally true that each child is born with a certain disposition and personality. I have boys who are grown now, but each of them is as different as night and day. One always takes the path of least resistance and does the least work he can to get by and the other son is an over-achiever who works his ass off, has incredible tenacity and has very high work ethics. While I am divorced, my ex and I always expected them to have a summer job since they were 14. The oldest one did it without a complaint and the youngest one did complaining every minute of the day making each day of the summer hellish. I would say that each of my sons as adults were/are pretty much the same as they were as infants/toddlers and teenagers. I think genetics has much more to do with your personality than your environment. JMO
That may be your belief, but research shows that the children of felons have a much greater incident of problems as adults. It’s not a stretch at all to say the girls will be Tre’s mini-mes. Gia already is.
I most definitely agree with you about this. It’s somewhat appalling to me that the family is still living the “life of Riley”. It’s sad to see Gia in the role as caregiver for her younger sisters. It’s equally disturbing to hear Gia tell her father to “use the Gucci dishes”. Maybe I am old-fashioned at 61, but I didn’t even know about designer names, costs, and the pretense that surrounds them in college, let alone at the age of 14. The Guidice’s felonious deeds that have afforded them this lifestyle (on someone else’s dime) instills a warped value system to the girls that things are more important than hard work and a good education.
I am a mental health professional and I assure you, environment and parents have a much greater influence on future behaviour than genetics. It’s quite staggering, actually, how much is replicated in the children. TT is right about the research.
I don’t disagree with you. I was just saying that while my children were brought up in the same household where both their father and I were strong proponents of working hard for what we had, the importance of education, and an expectation of a level of behavior, kindness, and thoughtfulness to all, one of my sons was much more of a challenge than the other. They were born with different personalities and different dispositions. While both sons have achieved success, it wasn’t an easy road with my youngest through those formidable years when they lived under our roof. I always was overly concerned with my youngest and feared for his ability to make it as an independent adult. Fortunately, he finally stepped up to the plate, but I will say that it was a real struggle for many years.
I’m not sure how to put this. A friend who began drinking himself into nearly 30 years of addiction while still a kid told me that a huge step for him in treatment was understanding that his maturity level stalled at age 13, when he began self-medicating. When he was 45, he said that it nearly killed him to realize that his oldest daughter was more mature than he, and that, furthermore, he had consigned her to the role of caregiver/peacemaker when his marriage went down in flames. She was the little adult left in their family, though barely nourished or guided herself. I feel that this applies well to Gia. Yes, she’s still a kid, but often she seems older and wiser than either of her parents, who seem to have stunted emotional and mental growth to me. I have cried for her and her sisters and feel empathy for them.
You are absolutely right. When someone starts using drugs or alcohol, development stops at that point, and can’t progress until the person becomes sober. They quite literally check out of life.
And my heart breaks for that kid, too. They are f-ing up a bright, promising young girl. Can’t imagine how this is, emotionally for Gia.
Nice to know the sanctity of her rectum was violated as she had no problem sticking it to her creditors.
What a great family, they are so strong, my question is, how can the authorities put a great mother of 4 beautiful children who is almost not guilty in jail. Juicy told everybody on WHHL that it’s Joe Gorgas fault that poor Teresa is in jail. Maybe if Joe Gorga had not come on the show T & Juicy would have gotten over and not get caught, who knows for sure. I guess it’s all complicated business dealings that pushed the envelope which caused T & Juicy to get into trouble. Now that Teresa is getting a $2 million contract from bravo she should have enough to resume her entitled life and give Joe money for commissary.
Is this sarcasm?
Well, it’s either sarcasm of delusion. You pick it!