It’s been a while since we did an Ask Tamara and I’m going to probably need to stop the personal blather soon with some new projects I have in the works, so get them out now. I may even check the spam folder and take some from the window lickers.
Please be patient. If you get in fast I may still be awake but I have been binge watching the new episodes of The Blacklist (so good) and Blindspot (I’m liking it so far) and haven’t slept since yesterday morning when the school next door started their Fall Festival. But I promise to get to most everyone eventually. It will be a busy night though with Teresa “checking in” from college and both Joes on WWHL. I’m going to take a hard 8 hour crash at some point. But I do have to finish at least this Finding Carter episode first.
So hit me with your best shot.
xoxo
tt
I like that color purple on black. I have nothing to ask you as my life is a snooze. I have been spending all of my free time with my Mom and Grandma…people at the grocery store have taken to asking my giant ass to get thing off of the top shelf for them. I’m sad.
Aw, I’m 5’9″ and I often offer to take things off the top shelf for people. Grocery stores sometimes give me panic attack and other times I seem so happy and helpful to people when I’ve felt shitty all day. It’s weird. I went today and I was Suzy friendly. Let someone in front of me in line and (as I do) overshared that I am not the person you want to be behind in line (I’m really not). It was an older postal employee and another line opened so I bolted (because clearly I’m most favored and highly blessed by God so he opened a line just for me). We ended up leaving at the same time and he once again thanked me and said I wasn’t that bad of a checker-outer. LOL. He just had a bad checker.
Lol. Aww..being kind to people usually rewards you like that 🙂 I’m usually a quick shopper, but my Mom tore up her leg and needs a lot of help and my Grandma, who is in her 80s, wants to go a lot this time of year..so going to the store has become an event of sorts.
I would LOVE to be a tall girl. I’m just 5’6, but to be 5’9 or taller? Would feel so powerful 🙂
Oh T! I am 5’11” and constantly asked by little ones for help. It makes me feel like an Amazon woman. Everyone always says they wish they were so tall. I hate it. My pants never fit, short people complain that they always have to hem their pants but I can’t add material. Back in the 80’s, clothing manufacturers didn’t make “long” pants and jeans for poor/middle class people so I always had floods. Needless to say, I was not popular in school.
Jujue: sigh. you’re “just” 5’6…and I’m “all of” 5’1… you are a tall girl to me!
Tamara, what’s a super embarrassing moment that has happened to you?
OMG people with anxiety have super embarrassing moments all the time. Sometimes I talk too much to the grocery clerk about my purchases because I’m mid panic attack and want to flee.
But the first thing I thought of I think I probably mentioned here at some point. I was living in Tallahassee Florida and teaching in south Georgia. We were all going to this big political event and I was asked to introduce a Congressman (state) who I don’t even remember. I was never afraid of public speaking. I stood in front of large classrooms and spoke all the time. I had no anxiety at all about doing this. So I stride on up to the podium and I become quite concerned I am having a heart attack. I’m pouring sweat. I can’t remember anything. I don’t even remember how I got through it but my students all flocked to me to ask me if I was okay which made me REALLY embarrassed.
I think that was the second panic attack I ever had. The first was making mac and cheese all buy myself in my kitchen to share with the girls on my hallway. No. Reason. At. All. No one saw and I was unclear why making mac and cheese was suddenly making my heart race but… it did.
I don’t know if it is the same for everyone, but I am not afraid of making mac and cheese, or grocery shopping or introducing congressman to large crowds. Only sometimes my brain tells me I am. So I guess my answer is being crazy is embarrassing. I know that on the outside it looks like I am afraid of a situation that is a mundane thing I am not afraid of. It’s very embarrassing.
Over a decade ago I had a mild panic attack just as I was falling asleep. Gawd awful scary.
I suddenly understood what anxiety was, what could happen to me if left unchecked.
The attacks continued for weeks while I worked at the root cause.
I rearranged my thinking of a problem.
I took Atenolol for a few months now only when I’m going to be in a unusual situation that might trigger it. The everyday triggers seem to not happen often.
No rapid heart rate, no attack.
I also have panic attacks in the grocery store since I became a widow. With me, my stomach goes crazy and I have to leave my cart and run to the bathroom (TMI). The last time, when I got back to my cart there were employees standing around it. They asked if it was my cart and said they were worried it was left there with an explosive device. Geez, I didn’t think I was that long in the bathroom.
You are right it isn’t the situation. When it happens our brains try to make sense of it. I had my first one while grocery shopping so then associated with that. I was told it was an adrenaline rush which was caused by the thyroid or mitral valve prolapse of the heart. Only mentioning in case it might help you.. I love your blog, thank you for sharing. Means a lot.
TT – I love your site. Obviously, bc I am convinced everyone needs some TT in their life. I hope you know what a great place you have created for ppl to not just talk about reality tv, but their everyday life. Thank you.
My questions – what brought you to blogging about reality TV? Were you part of another site at one time? ( not asking for the sites name. Just curious )
Is your family aware of the site? I sometimes think you are the Charlie (Charlies Angels) of blogging 🙂
Have you ever thought about writing a book? I enjoy going through the archives and reading your post on court cases. You would be a great crime writer.
Xo
Your RT’ing, marketing, crazy lady.
Thanks Tara!
I was never a part of any entertainment site. I was part of a large message board for a long time but they all would and do hate this site. lol. Not exactly. I brought over a few friends you would know, but this site is the Antithesis (SWIDT?) of what those people would like. The did raise me up through the Internets and encourage me to come up with as many bad words as possible and are responsible for my “thin the herd” mentality when it comes to commenters.
I don’t have much family. But the little I do know that I have the site. My brother obviously isn’t that interested. My sister loves the Big Brother stuff. And I have a favorite neice who loves Vanderpump Rules stuff. But mostly, because I am anti-social, my sister just checks to see if I am still alive.
I’ve thought about writing a book a ot. I have one bouncing around in my head. It’s a crime drama set on the Mexican border. I’ll never have the luxury of writing it.
TT -ask ,believe, receive. It obviously works for some people. Why not us?
Write in installments. Create a new genre the internet novella. I would read your grocery list.
TD that is a great idea! I would definitely buy it.
You could market it per chapter, hell by the end of it TT will have that condo close to Isle of Palms in SC.
The new movie The Martian was written as a online installment on his blog.
Weir has a blog where he wrote short stories and interacted with his followers.
I read several writing blogs and they are as good as most published authors.
Greatest wish for me would be history written with a purple pen. Herstory would be the ultimate read otherwise it’s been recorded as “It’s a Man’s World”. Would love to peruse TT’s ruminations on this subject.
You need to write that book, because I need to read it! <3 <3
Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle…
( think there are many goodies on that tray as well )
Truth empowers.
Ok. What was that last post even about? Comments and legalities and all. I’m
Discombobulated. Even worse than normal.
I’m sorry I can’t discombobulate you, I almost never reveal blinds.
Yikes! No TT tokens for the Bitter Betty post?:(
Where all have you traveled and which was your best trip and why?
Keida I typed you a whole long comment but Internet Explorer hated the new website so it will randomly refresh the page and cause me to loose everything every few minutes. Anyway. Shorter version, I was raised in Libya and we traveled extensively in north Africa, Europe and the Middle East. In hindsight, I loved all of it. In the moment I was sort of a bratty kid at times.
As an adult I was really enjoying traveling to Curacao every summer but my anxiety can sometimes get in the way of my traveling.
Here is a post I wrote about why I won’t be doing any international travel out of MIA anymore
http://s17948.p858.sites.pressdns.com/2013/06/27/my-customs-interragation-story-aka-mia-airport-sucks-donkey-ass/
I’m so sorry about your trip a few years back – that must have really been awful- my 19 year old son said customs is horrible – he just got back from Europe and he’s 19- he has very long hair and looks like a hippy from the 60’s he was singled out – this kid is the most straight as an arrow kid you’d meet – he’s now contemplating if his trip to Australia next year is worth it! Once he applied for his passport homeland security called me and drilled me with questions as to why he was travelling to London and then paris ! I was shocked but whatever! Guess the idea of a teenager travelling alone to explore the world is unheard of these days ! I have only been to Canada pre 9/11- so I think I will be staying stateside ! Thanks for the tea as always ! Can’t wait for walking dead tonight will you be recapping ??
Hi Cherise! Old ladies traveling alone are yanked a lot too. I traveled every year on my birthday, which was right there in my passport, but they were not hearing it. They were sure I was carrying something. As it turns out Curacao being so close to Colombia raises suspicion especially because it’s not a place most Americans go in the Caribbean.
From now on I am requesting a wheelchair from the plane to customs if I ever have to clear customs in MIA. It is a VERY long walk to the customs area where there are VERY long lines. I was sweaty and exhausted by the time I arrived and that is something they look for.
Flying alone internationally is considered a weird thing in the states for some reason.
Oh and I have so many miles on Delta, I could take three first class trips to the Caribbean right now. I just can’t seem to motivate to go anywhere. Plus I am chained to the damn blog.
Curaçao must be charming. All that Dutch Colonial architecture. Get someone to cover the blog and take a trip. Hard for me to travel so I must do it vicariously through other people. I wish I could go to Cuba. I was conceived there on my parents’ honeymoon. Don’t let those Delta first class miles go to waste.
Why would a nice middle aged school teacher be suspected of illegal doings? Is it because you are the antithesis of a typical drug mule? Get the doctor’s note for the wheel chair, get some good beach reads and go spoil yourself.
Thank you for everything.
I have often wondered if you could interview anyone, living or dead, who would that be and why?
Riley, I have no desire to interview anybody. I get asked a lot by sites like HuffPo to do webcam interviews and stuff. There is nothing about that I would like.
I was invited to an academic event to meet Maya Angelou once. She was someone I admired greatly. I cried when I was in the room with her. It’s an embarrassing thing I do in the presence of greatness. It happens pretty much 24/7 in Paris. I’m crying in the Louvre, I’m crying in the churches. I was crying in the opera house listening to a pianist rehearse and some German lady was worried about me. It’s an embarrassing thing that just happens. So I would not be able to interview. I’d just cry happy tears like an idiot. Because, crazy. 🙂
I cried like a baby when I met Ursula Le Guin. She is my favorite sci fi writer. She was signing books at a con. I re-bought all her books, stood in line, asked her to sign them for my kids and started bawling.
I don’t know why but I am fascinated by the logistics/mechanics/timing of this site and how you keep it up.
Percentage wise—-how do you allot your time? How much is spent thinking about coming up with the subject matter? How much time spent writing? How much time time do you spend actually reading the comments?Do you usually read them AS they come in or revIew later?
I’m betting you write a lot that you do not ever post. I would ask what is your average day like with this blog…but I kinda get the feeling each day may be wildly different especially with the latest change you made on the site.
I do not mean to be too personal with these questions. I just think this must be a very time consuming endeavor and I am sincerely interested in how it all works.
Than you, Tamara, for your consideration to my questions. I will thank Jesus in advance for your answers. ?
I work on the site in some capacity from the moment I get up until I go to bed. Except for my all nighters like last night. Sometimes I am up all night so that I can watch something I want to watch on TV wash some dishes. Etc. It’s never ending.
I rarely know what my day is going to be like. Today I haven’t even had a moment to check the news and I need to hop off of here and get ready for the RHONJ show in about an hour. I slept all day today and am very behind.
I’ve noticed your blog doesn’t get as many comments as you used to, does that effect your income?
If so, I’ll comment more.
I agree I don’t comment much but always read. Would more comments help income
Just enjoy the site, Dee. Comments don’t make any difference other than it’s just nice when we all interact. And by interact I mean fight. 🙂
No, GirlMe. Comments have no effect on revenue. I actually heavily moderate comments to avoid spending all day trying to figure out what people are going on about in broken English and textspeak. I miss the days when everyone was on a laptop and not typing on a tiny phone keyboard.
I am not looking for a bunch of meaningless comments. But thanks for your support. Reading the site and sharing it with others who might be interested is the most helpful thing you can do!
Thanks so much for the explanation. I thought it was the amount of views that helped you. In your rules you do say don’t post just for the sake of posting so I restrain myself as much as possible 🙂 Not today but most days LOL I love your blog. I love having a place to check into to see how everyone is doing. I love the snark. Do our comments still arrive in email form?
Some RH celebs are now doing @perisocpetv it is fun and so cool to watch/hear them just blab, I just found out that to look at periscope – you don”t have to have a twitter account and perisccope can be accessed through facebook as well…
TT have you wathed any RH related periscopes?
I generally ask someone to watch a periscope for me. I am on the internet through a series of string and bubble gum and periscope is not a possibility for me. Right now I can hardly get on my own site. When I get my next laptop, I’m going to try a new Browser I suppose. I have been fighting that for years but it’s become a major issue… so.
I honestly don’t have time to keep up with the media whores on Twitter and Instagram and Facebook. I can’t possible follow anyone on another thing.
Got it..what I like about periscope…is periscope notifies you..and they are funny..
That is hilarious, string and bubble gum, sounds like my lap top. We need a new one. We have ours strung together with old parts, duct tape and wires all over the place.
Where have all the cowboys gone?
You’re in Texas. You’re supposed to be watching them! Did you let them get away?
Do you watch House of DVF? I am wildly amused by her.
I don’t. I am sort of on TV overload right now. I don’t have much time to watch the things I want to. Too busy writing stuff everytime a housewife farts. 🙂
“Thought in the mind doth still abide
That is by intellect supplied,
And within that Idea doth hide:
And (s)he, that yearns the truth to know
Still further inwardly may go,
And find Idea from Notion flow:
“And thus the chain, that sages sought,
Is to a glorious circle wrought,
For Notion hath its source in Thought.”
Lewis just wanted you to be reminded of these things.
Dave McGowan, have you read any of his writings?
Dave McGowan doesn’t ring a bell, Captain eel.
TT. I feel your pain. As you know I suffer extremely bad from panic attacks. It’s a horrible thing if you have never experienced one because they don’t understand. It’s even hard for me to post here. Now I’m dealing with PTSD on top of everything
Sorry to hear you have the anxiety, Dee.
Eventhough I was cheated on by my husband, I really felt for you as you revealed your substantial relationship with a married man in the past.
My X denied he was cheating. It had been going on for a year with a coworker. No one told me, all the signs were there. I know very few knew. He was always such a straight arrow guy, I had to convince myself it was true. I never caught them, was on the verge of hiring a PI to be sure I didn’t have menopause mind when the shit hit the fan. I had felt he was not at all on my team anymore for 2 years. He would deny we had any issues when I would ask what was wrong. If I said day, he said night. He took issue with most of my opinions when for 24 years we were in sync. It was obvious he was not happy and that made tension. We did not fight. That was pointless. He would clam up for several days every argument from the very start of our marriage. He would get mad at me if I was the one with something to be mad about in the first place. We pretty much didn’t argue, no point in it. Generally, we had little to be at issue about.
He denied an affair with who I said he was involved with. I lost more respect for him being such a coward to own up to it. They married a very few months after our divorce was final. He was not interested in trying to save ours, even though he had claimed all was fine. The coward had been actually trying to make me unhappy enough to dump him so he would look like the injured party and come out smelling like a rose. I did not want a divorce. I had no choice. I am the one that filed because that is what you do. It is like the man holding the door or walking next to the curb. One of those deferential things, women should get to do the dumping. But, there again, I only helped him out.
Finally to my question. What kind of guy would treat you in every way like a wife. Care about you enough to be in public and be so obviously a part of all aspects of your life, but not pull the trigger on his marriage? You must have discussed it. Did he have good excuses? Was he happy being selfish? I would not have shared my husband, but I sort of wish it took 2 to divorce like it took 2 to get married.
Dawn, I’m sorry your husband was unfaithful. In my situation, the wife was well aware and we would occasionally all go to certain events together, or have dinner together. Every marriage is different and there are times that marriages become more like business partners who live together. It was a situation that worked fine for me, until it didn’t.
I need to know why Faye Resnick is getting married today when she is allegedly already married to her *fiance*…
Because needs scenes for a certain show? ?
I don’t know the morally corrupt Faye Resnick. Sorry.
I, too, suffer from GAD (General Anxiety Disorder). It sucks. The older I’ve gotten the worse it’s become: definitely has to do with perimenopause, another delightful middle-age condition.
Grocery stores (combined with adult ADD) no bueno. The mall is a problem, too. If I can shop stores with outside mall entrances I’m good. It’s so much more complicated than that but it’s good reading others understand.
My MIL thinks I should just not worry about stuff. Oh, the simple-minded. LoL
Awww Claire, the old just don’t worry about it advice. When my mother died years ago I was having trouble focusing on work and not crying all the time. I went to get on antidepressants which were all the rage at the time and my doctor asked if I had anxiety. I knew what the word meant but didn’t understand why he was asking. Because I had not had anxiety before.
You’re right the joys of perimenopause brought out the full time crazy. Even crazier is most of the time I love to grocery shop until I’m in the cheese aisle and suddenly it’s the scariest thing ever. It’s so bizarre and hard to explain unless you have been there. During my last long relationship, he was always around and I pretty much never went anywhere without him. There was a bit of safety in that and my major attacks subsided. Only to get worse after we parted ways.
I went to the doctor today. Diagnosis? “Well…you’re crazy.” Sometimes we call it depressed; sometimes we call it boredom; sometimes it morphs into anxiety. Today he called it “crazy.” I got no problem with that. (I’m not downplaying anyone’s anxiety or panic attacks; they are truly debilitating and awful. My doctor’s retiring in two weeks. He’s calling as he sees it.)
Let’ pretend you are on the Actor’s Studio.
What is your favorite curse word?
“Fuck” Try as I might, there is no better word that can be invented.
What is your favorite sound?
Islamic call to prayer. I miss living near a mosque.
Your least favorite sound?
Phones ringing.
If you could do any job, what would you like to do?
Travel writer for Conde Nast Traveler
If God is waiting at the pearly gates when you arrive, what would you hope he says to you?
You repented just in time. Barely. And nice work keeping the assholes in line I knew you could do it.
It’s been a long time since I’ve seen The Actor’s Studio…but you get the
drift. Hugs…
Please recap the presidential debates. They are of the reality genre.
OH Natalie, I would be in Tattles heaven if Tamara recapped the best show on TeeVee, the presidential debates. I would love that!
I do tweet about them sometimes.
I really, really, really try to avoid politics here. Mostly because I don’t want to like you guys any less because of your stupid political views. 🙂
That goes double for me.
Any news on the Stanton case?
Someone is still stalling. Looking like trial in early 2016 for now.
I love the grocery store. When we travel, state-side or international, I hit the grocery with mental prices from home and the exchange rate on mind. It amazed me, for example, that I could get Dalmatian Ham (Croatian Proscuitto) for as little as bologna in Zagreb and paid for it like it was steak at home.
I smile at everybody because I am happy in the grocery. Many of them seem startled that a stranger is smiling at them.
My anxiety is under control (better living through chemistry) and you can bet I am happy about that!
Thank you for the recaps and the commentary and for making those of us with little imbalance issues feel normal 🙂
I know you cover a lot of shows, but I have wondered if you are going to do Fargo again? Like AHS, this season is its own storyline. It starts in a week,and has Ted Danson in it
🙂
I dunno Steve. Maybe for you. We’d be the only ones there. Also recapping drama is very time consuming and requires a lot more brain power than talking about how stupid middle-aged women look on reality TV. And the later brings way more bang for the buck.
Fargo is one of my all time favorite movies, but I couldn’t watch the tv version for more than a few minutes. Might try again.
I figured that but had to find some new question to ask and FXX is marathoning season one today. I saw the link from your trip back thru Miami, my grandmother loved that story and it brings her back a little when I remember reading it to her. After living and traveling around the world, what brought you to Atlanta?
Hey Steve, I loooove Fargo You won’t be watching it alone. I have it on my calendar!
I am in for Fargo. I hope it is as good as last season. The last few years, it seems like a lot of them go down the tube the 2nd season.
Many shows drag the same storyline over many seasons. AHS and Fargo use new stories so it can stay fresh
OMG, I just stayed up all night binging on Fargo, season 1. Thank goodness I don’t have to go to work until Tuesday afternoon. Damn, it was good!
Marry,shag,kill bravo celebrities
Marry, shag, ignore, kill Bravolebrities. Then I could play.
Hey TT and family! Monday is Thanksgiving for us in Canada. I want to wish all the Canadian Tattlers a happy turkey day. 🙂
Have some butter tarts for me. Is Turkey traditional for Canadian Thanksgiving? I’d rather have poutine.
Turkey is definitely traditional. FYI, McDonalds sometimes adds poutine on the menu!
Wait. Do you guys have butter tarts there, or is it a Canadian thing? I know you guys didn’t have Ketchup flavoured chips before. Hopefully you do now!
It is a Canadian thing, but my Canadian SIL would make them for American Thanksgiving.
Happy Turkey, Chay Eday! (unless Canadians eat something else) 🙂
Thanks lisamia! Turkey is the star of the show today.
Happy Thanksgiving, Ms Eday!
It is my very favorite holiday. Just think….a holiday devoted to gratitude and appreciation. And turkey…..and stuffing….and pie. What could be better?
Thanksgiving is my favorite. Easter comes next. I only fix turkey to have gravy and dressing. I know it’s probably AmErican to dislike turkey. Pie, rolls, and homemade cranberry sauce.
To me it’s all about cranberries and stuffing. Cornbread to be exact.
Cornbread stuffing and cranberries….mmmmm. Yup, everything else is just the excuse for those two dishes.
Thanks Maisey! And you are right. Nothing is better than that combo. 🙂
Hey Angel(?), the next time you have cornbread stuffing, I’m crashing the party!
You’ve lived in a lot of places. What was your favorite and was your family in the military ?
Tripoli, Libya was my favorite. My second favorite was Saint Simons Island, Ga. Third was Savannah Ga. Anytime I live near a sea or an ocean, life is good.
My father was in the military but at the time of our travels he worked for Lockheed, an aircraft company.
I just think you are the coolest…super cool! I’ve never lived by the sea or ocean and that is my biggest dream too.
Well, went back to read a few of your posts from 2012 a few in 2011 and I am surprised you are still here.
You allowed “anonymous” commenters and you had one, possibly two that were particularly viscous. Really horrible to you. It seemed like they laid in wait for you to put up a new post.
Also the commenters were not friends and constantly argued with you.
What did you say to yourself to keep writing?
When was your very 1st post?
Your blog has come a long way from 2011.
I blogged for a couple years with no ads. I’ve always had weird things happen when I got ads. I really liked being on WordPress where there was no hassle no huge rules and a decent payout.
From the moment I started blogging I had other bloggers stealing from me. Including one dead one who some people here still her still hold in high esteem. I went right over there and called her out. The vicious commenters came from her site for the most part at that time. I cut my Internet teeth on a board that is very hostile and where I still visit on occasion to let off some steam. I used to fighting my own battles. I’m quite Internet savvy in all the ways that matter to me. So I really didn’t need to say anything to myself. I am not influenced by the opinions of many people. Certainly not faceless people I don’t know on the Internet.
My first post was in November 2011. I started the blog because Atlanta has a lot of major celebrities blowing through town. I was trying to push myself out into the world for therapeutic reasons. I never expected it to be my job. My first blog required me to go out and meet Jill Zarin at the opening of a department store quite a long drive from my house. It got me out into the world. I’ve since lost all desire to interact with the world at all. We are coming up on four years of me typing away. Three hosting sites and a least three laptops later…. I’m still banging on my keyboard.
Oh and thanks for digging around in the old posts. I hear that is a bit helpful. 🙂
It marvels me how cool you handle the haters and rip-off sites. I would want to put on my running shoes (sneakers) and go “explain some stuff”.
Great idea of Calipatti’s! I will check out some older posts too just for fun.
I spent about 2 hours in 2012 and a little in 2011. It was enthralling on several different layers with the writing and the people posting.
You had a large group of haters but I could the start of loyal followers.
Where has TeeCee been?
Angel … Yes, Tee Cee come home!
Will you ever recap The Affair or any of PBS shows like Indian Summers, Poldark or Dowton Abbey? Even stoned (medical) I just can’t with Bravo many storylines have just been too depressing and redundant. I know you’ve heard it many times! I’m glad you’re doing so well with your blog and I enjoy it because you don’t let people use ridiculous nicknames and keep the comments moderated plus the comenters here are great.
Every time I come to your site it’s freezes. This didn’t happen before you changed your website. Can you fix this problem?
Ashley, there is a conflict between the video ads and Internet Explorer. I have the exact same issue myself. I have so far been unable to fix it. 🙁