It’s time for a new season of Couples Therapy. Let’s meet the new couples!
Big Ang and Neil Murphy
Big Ang is one of only two people I know this season. If you don’t know her, she’s from Mob Wives. She and Neil are the first to arrive. Big Ang is not thrilled to be there even before she gets in the house. They’ve been married for six years. Ang seems upset that her husband is a garbage man, he’s lazy and he lies. Their story seems to be that Big Ang is an abusive wife and Neil is the victim in the relationship
Scott and Jaclyn Stapp
Scott is the lead singer of CREED. Jaclyn is his wife. Scott has had a very serious issues with drugs. He had a drug relapse last year and had a total break from reality. Jaclyn filed for divorce. Scott was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He is really trying to stay sober.
Carmen Carrera and Adrian Torres
Carmen Carrera is transgender. Because transgender is the new black. Adrian has two daughters from a previous relationship. They are married. She did not start to transition until after the marriage. Prior to that she was living as a man by day and her female self at night. Adrian is apparently freaked out that she is transitioning and growing breasts. Wait, I thought he was a straight guy. What straight guy doesn’t like breasts? He cheated when she began transitioning. I think Carmen was on RuPaul’s Drag Race. That may mean I can get Lady Cocotte to do these reaps. Carmen is nervous that people will find out she is transgender and judge her.
Janice Dickinson and Rocky Gerner
Next we have Janice and Rocky. Call me crazy but, I’m going to guess the problem in this relationship is Janice. They are currently engaged. Rocky says the first issue with their relationship is that he discovered Janice is bankrupt. He wants a prenup (DUH!) and she is having a fit about it. Janice sits down with the others flosses her teeth. The she makes a lot of inappropriate comments about Scott’s sobriety. Janice is actually nice to Carmen and she admits she is trans. Janice advises her not to tell the others. Janice says the trans issue is just between them. I don’t trust Janice for a second.
First Group Therapy: Rock Bottom Moments
Nothing says introductions like having everyone share their rock bottom moments. Big Ang and Neil say their rock bottom was when they built a house. Ang keeps cutting Neil off. Scott talks about his drug binge in 2014. He thought someone was coming in the hotel to get him so he hung of the 16th floor balcony and fell off landing head first and fracturing his skull and broke his hip. He later got a doctor to prescribe him some serious painkiller and they interacted badly with his anti-depressants sending him into a psychotic episode where he thought he was part of a governmental program called MK-Ultra. He thought his car was rigged with explosives and called 911 who sent the men in white to lock him up. Jackie had filed for divorce and he lost custody of his kids Jackie was not prepared for the public humiliation. Dr. Jenn has already started cussing. I forgot how much she does that.
Carmen says that her rock bottom was finding out that Adrian had cheated. Dr. Mike causally says that “I’m sure that being transgender, that feeling of not being good enough ran pretty deep.” Janice calls Mike out for outing Carmen rather than letting her tell people when she was ready. Mike didn’t know that she had not told anyone. Carmen says that Adrian is pansexual. Mike’s rock bottom was when Carmen cheated on him first. Carmen also mentioned that she allowed Adrian to go out and experience “the world” and she is mad at him for doing it.
Janice’s lowest point was giving Rocky money she made from an appearance and he put it into his safe. She said her rock bottom was the first time she saw Rocky really lose his temper. None of this makes sense. Why is Janice’s lowest point something that doesn’t seem to be about her and not any of THESE THINGS? Rocky whispers, they don’t know why. She screeches at him. Janice appears to be on something. When Dr. Jenn says that Janice was disrespectful to Rocky, Janice screams at Dr. Jenn. She is either very crazy or very drugged up. Jackie says to Janice that she interrupts a lot and says mean things to people. Janice is a financial liability and should not be on this show. Jackie seems terrified of her. Scott and Jackie think it is all an act. I think she is seriously mentally ill. Janice cries and apologies (sort of) to Rocky and they snuggle.
In the second hour, Dr. Jenn talked to Carmen about being transgender. She talks about feeling female from a very young age. She would put on makeup in the middle of the night. When she was 12 she put on her mother’s clothes and showed her grandmother and she freaked out. She didn’t date until twenty. For two years she dated gay men who found her too feminine. Then she met Adrian and he accepted her. Adrian was not prepared at all for her transitioning. Why are all the transgender women we see on TV so ultra feminine and ubersexual? I’m curious if there are transgender women who wear yoga pants and t-shirts and are less glamorous 24/7.
Joe Budden and Kaylin Garcia
In the second episode we get a new couple. Apparently, he is a rapper for Love and Hip Hop and she is sometimes his girlfriend. When Janice came up the big hill to the house Rocky was rolling two huge suitcases, his and Janice’s. This dude seems to have brought almost nothing and has two free hands and a backpack and is not helping her pull her giant suitcase up the hill at all. That says pretty much everything. She’s a twerker and apparently is on Love and Hip Hop as well. He talks about doing drugs and the two of them having sex all the time and having sex together with other women. She said all of that was great until the show started and he was back around his ex Tahiry. Apparently, he proposed to Tahiry and she said no on national TV. Joe is stringing her along. Carmen is a Love and Hip Hop fan. They ask Carmen what show she was on, and she doesn’t answer. Carmen says she likes Kaylin for Joe and Joe says very defensively that they don’t know anything about them. Joe starts asking Carmen and Adrian what their problems are. Joe seems abusive.
Joe and Kaylin Meet with Dr Jenn
Kaylin was stripping and living out of her car until Love and Hip Hop. Kaylin told Joe he needed to finish things with Tahiry and find out if that is what he wants. Kaylin stayed living in his house. When he was working out of town, Kaylin came over to see if she was still living there and they compared notes. A male friend of his who was at the house texted him and told him what was going on. He called Tahiry to get out of the house immediately or he would call the cops. Dr. Jenn probes about what sticking around with the jerk says about how she values herself. She can’t answer but Joe has no problem laying it out there for her quite clearly.
Scott and Jackie Meet with Dr Jenn
Jackie mentions all of Scott’s drinking issues He was arrested on the way to their honeymoon destination. Dr. Jenn wants to know why she stayed with Scott. Scott says that Jackie was trying to save him. Dr Jenn talks about what it is about her that made her pick him. This line of discussion makes her uncomfortable. I think that Dr. Jenn is off to one of the best starts of the season. Usually, I feel like she misses the mark a lot. Jackie doesn’t want to talk about herself. She also doesn’t want to talk about Scott’s addiction. She glares at Dr. Jenn.
Jackie decides to vent to Janice of all people. Janice who she has already said is mean. Janice says she would have slapped the bitch silly and fucked her up if she had said that to her. And by “that” she means saying that there is something in Jackie that needs to be fixed because she chooses broken people. I don’t think Dr. Jenn will say that to Janice, but she should pose that question to Rocky. Then Janice goes and tattles to one of the therapists.
Janice Meets with Dr. Jenn
Dr. Jenn starts by saying that she understands that Janice would like to slap her and fuck her up. Janice says she thinks Dr. Jenn is really hard on Jackie. Janice says that if that hurt her feelings she’s sorry. Dr. Jenn says it’s fine, but what she can’t do is sabotage other couple’s treatment plan. Jenn tries to teach Janice basic manners and common decency. Good luck that Dr. Jenn.
Late, Kaylin tells Adrian that on the house CVS list someone wrote “tampons” under her name. That’s mean. I suspect Joe. But Joe and Kaylin supposedly do not know that she is transgendered. I bet Joe watches RuPaul’s Drag Race.
NEXT WEEK: It looks like Joe gets arresting on an outstanding domestic violence warrant. Dr. Jenn tries to out the tampon culprit.