On tonight’s Ladies of London we’re back at the ridiculous onsie party where Juliet is outraged that Caroline S. was humping her husband in a unicorn onesie. Caroline S. is just mad that Juliet seems to want to stop being her minion and start sucking up to Caroline F. instead. Juliet eventually decides to throw everyone out of her room so the party moves on. Their suite is a disaster area. It’s clear that the cunt gene is a Stanbury family trait.
Caroline S. is worried that perhaps she could be the problem. Juilet shows up and Caroline has changed her story now to say that she was not humping Gregor at all. They argue about the humping incident, AGAIN.
Julie actually had a big turnout for her yoga class on the first day of 2015. None of the clients were ladies from the show, because they are hungover as hell. Caroline woke up feeling completely blameless in any of the bitchy behaviors from the previous night.
Everyone drags their hungover asses to brunch to argue about humpgate and yogagate again. Caroline retracts her apologies and somehow seems to think she is the victim.
Oh my God, we have an outdoor scene where all the houses have those black wrought iron fences and I immediately remember the gruesome suicide of Noelle’s boyfriend. I really wish I hadn’t revisited that mental imagery. I can’t imagine Noelle’s reaction to seeing those fences everywhere. Is this the two Carolines out together? For some reason I though Fleming was a brunette. I swear it’s only been a week and I can’t remember these people’s names.
Marissa is in the paper with a giant hotdog and everyone’s tongues are wagging. They have gotten three scenes out of one photo in the paper. Marissa acts like she didn’t pose for that picture. It’s a cute picture, what’s the big deal? Sidenote, I wish I had a hot dog.
Caroline realizes that she is losing her business. She says that she works all the time for nothing. Her staff says they never see her.
Juilet and Gregor go for a tennis lesson that quickly turns to talking about humpgate. Juilet wants an apology. She will be waiting a lifetime for that.
We get a scene with Caroline S. and her boys. Then she leaves for a date with her husband. I wonder what her husband does in Kazakhstan? That seems like one of those countries that doesn’t really exist. Caroline whines about the other ladies with no context of her own behavior. When Caroline talks with her husband about her business, she doesn’t seem to even hear him when he says she has lost her “personal momentum in the business.”
Caroline Fleming seems much richer than the rest of these women, except perhaps Annabelle. Caroline F is going home to Denmark. I just checked the flight time and it is under 2 hours and tickets start at $173. That’s like flying from Atlanta to Miami. Caroline goes to visit her grandmother. Caroline shares that her mother has passed.
Annabelle meets up with Julie, and Juliet for lunch. Julie begins to whine about yogagate. Annabelle wants to know why she doesn’t just tell Caroline to fuck off. Julie says she is terrified of Caroline. Annabelle says that Caroline “plays the North Korean card” a lot. Juliet is pissed that Julie told Annabelle about Caroline threatening to mop the floor with her and Gregor. I think she is just embarrassed that she takes that kind of behavior from Caroline because she desperately wants to be her friend. Julie says to Juliet’s face that she thinks she is just afraid of Caroline. Julie just said the same thing about herself.
Next week: Caroline’s business begins to go belly up, Julie tries to get her balls in more mouths, Marissa prepares to sell her wieners and there is another big drunken event for the ladies to bitch at each other on camera.