I am finally getting a second to watch Empire! I’m so excited. I don’t think I will recap as much and just sort of comment from the couch. Recapping dramas is HARD.
We start the show with Lucious Lyon still in the pokey three months later and still trying to run things. The boys are throwing a Free Lucious concert. Oh Lawd, Cookie appears in a cage wearing a gorilla costume. The fuck? I can’t explain how bad this is. The only thing that would make this more of a circus would be Al Sharpton. Oh wait. We have had three celebrity cameos in three minutes. I am not going to like this season if it is all about just getting every black celebrity in the world on the show. I want the storyline to move forward. I did like Cookie dissing Don Lemon’s Ferguson fiasco though. Of course Lucious is watching the concert in jail, on a giant flat screen. So far, I am worried about this season. It seems like they sold out to commercialism already.
So it appears Marissa Tomei will have a stint on this season. I couldn’t figure out why she was in such a fugly suit until she started hardcore flirting with Cookie. Ah, lesbian. That explains the outfit. What do you call a token lesbian white woman in a fugly suit? Mimi Whiteman. Because Becky Whiteman would have been just a touch too much?
In jail, everyone is worried about Frank Gathers, the big scary drug dealer that Cookie used to work for. We wait with antici……pation to see Frank and it’s….wait for it… Chris Rock? Because this mess is not ridiculous enough. He is going to fuck with Cookie’s cousin because he killed one of his boys or something.
Jamal goes to see Daddy in jail. He wants Vernon killed (isn’t he already dead?) and information on that lesbian bitch. Jamal just wants to go on tour and leave all this mess behind. I don’t blame him.
Cookie throws a giant lesbian themed party to seduce Mimi out of her money. Speaking of gay sex, Jamal seems to have become a power top since last season. I thought he was going to bring out the whips and chains on that dude. It was kind of hot. Could we not clean up Jamal’s hairline a bit though? Back at the Lesbian party, Anika, aka Boo Boo Kitty is pretty much forced to sleep with Mimi. Boo Boo Kitty is good apparently. Mimi agrees to commit $250 million dollars to Cookie’s hostile takeover plan. What kind of kitty does Anika have exactly.
Some prosecutor running for Attorney General tries to get Lucious to take a plea deal. That is not happening. He has to be out for there to be a show. Why do we bother with scenes like this. In other ridiculous scenes, Lucious wanders around the visiting area when a rap show breaks out. Because that is what prison is like.
Jamal has grudgingly agreed to have a GLAAD meeting in his office. He walks in to Miss Lawrence all singin’ and swayin’ and gettin’ merry like Christmas on top of a piano. I have a whole post I am working on about Miss Lawrence coming as soon as I get the chance. Miss Lawrence looks and sounds amazing! That was a great scene with Gabrielle Sidibe. Sadly, Jamal is not a Miss Lawrence fan and cancels his GLAAD appearance later and just makes a donation. Who is this season two Jamal?
Cookie, Andre, Boo Boo Kitty, and Hakeem bust into the board meeting to explain they are taking over the company. They plan to immediately fire Lucious. Except Mimi made a better deal with Lucious. Then Lucious joins in on Facetime, “game over bitches!”
Cookie’s cousin got his ass beat in jail. He finally admits that Cookie was the that snitched Frank. Frank sends Cookie her cousin’s head in a box! I haven’t seen a head in a box since American Horror Story: Coven and I could have gone a lot longer in between seeing them. UGH.So Cookie has goes to see Lucious to handle the Frankie problem. Frankie says he has to retaliate for Cookie snitching on him. Lucious declares war. He tells all the prisoners that are allowed to just stand about unsupervised to kill Lucious. But Lucious has pulled the old whoop-de do and the thugs are about to got HAM on little Chris Rock. Don’t mess with the Lyon.
While all the Lyons are hiding out waiting for Frank to die. Hakeem and Jamal argue. Once Cookie comes to say the danger has past. Jamal throws all of them out. He slams the door right in his mother’s face. For a brief moment we see last season’s Jamal and then he gets mad and storms through the house.
So, what did you guys think of the show? I wasn’t as excited by it as I thought I would be. I think dragging all the celebrities on for cameos is going to be annoying.