We start with Vanessa plotting to be sure no matter who wins the HOH Vanessa is going to go to final 2. Cut to a diary room of Liz saying she is solid with taking Vanessa to the final two. Liz also says that Van is totally taking her to final two. Then Vanessa lies to Steve about having a final two with Liz. She gives her word, y’all. Oh Vanessa. Out play, out last and out lie your way to $500K. Steve is NOT planning to take Vanessa to final two if he wins HOH.
I hate these little flashback brunches where they give them topics to match the clips they want to play. We only have two episodes left. WE WANT MORE JURY INSIGHT. It is good to see Day and Jason again though. The replays of Vanessa’s bullying types of manipulations highlight why it is so hard to be happy for her win. UF is going to love this long showmance package with Austin and Liz. This crap is like the episode of Survivor that they show on Thanksgiving. I could totally be watching the Emmys. But noe. Instead, I am playing solitaire and checking the spam folder a lot.So we go to commercial, and come back to? MOTS. I go make a pot of tea. Still going on. They should have down TWO parts of the HOH tonight. We’ll be lucky to get through one.
The HOH is basically swinging into a wall while sitting on a giant hemorrhoid and being slammed into the wall and dipped in a pond of menstrual blood. It lasted quite a while for everyone and was so boring to watch I quit bothering and shut of the live feeds when it was going on. Everyone was super sore the next day and they all got heat and ice patches to wear. Vanessa was the most beat up.
Another commercial. We still haven’t started the comps. Are they really going to do three parts of the comp and the jury vote in an hour on Wednesday?
And then they win be back with a lengthy montage of crying hamsters. THIS IS WHAT WE WANT TO SEE! SUFFERING! Where there even any accidental nekkid pics on the livefeeds this year? I think not. I didn’t even care enough to hate any of these people this year. I suppose the most likely to be surprised they are hated by a lot will be Austin, Vanessa and the twins. I am sure they think they are the favorites. They never caught on that Johnny Mac was so liked because he hated al of them.
Oh. With five minute left they show the dangling hemorrhoid game. Apparently it is not a hemorrhoid being dipped in pool of menstrual blood after all. It’s supposed to be an apple being dipped in the red coating to make a candied apple. I was wondering why they were feeding bloody hemorrhoids to clowns. It is even more boring now that I understand where they were trying to go.
Spoiler: Vanessa wins part one. The finale is going to be 90 minutes at 9:30 after the Survivor premiere on Wednesday. They did not show two whole minutes of the stupid HOH.