We begin Below Deck with Rocky crying on the phone to her Daddy. Her boss is so negative and she can’t handle it. I’m not saying that Kate isn’t a bitch, because she is. But this one here, dancing on the mast with the radar waves ain’t really all there. Not to mention she wants to be Leon’s sous chef instead of a stew, the job she was hire to do. It’s not like she has 10 months to work with a shithead, like most teachers. She’s on a fucking luxury yacht in the Bahamas. Scrub the toilets, smile at the bitch and collect your check! Rocky says she doesn’t cry. But she does. She seems like she is really, really good at crying. Amy, bless her heart, is going to help Rocky survive.
Lee calls the meeting about the next charter primary, it’s Dean Slover the target of #PenisGate2014! And Kate’s favorite primary from last season. Well, she thought he was her charter soul mate until he kept pointing out what a glum bitch she is. They have a love/hate relationship. I think he is very regimented in his schedule. Dinner not being EXACTLY on time I believe was a problem. Kate is really excited to have him back. She’s planning a toga party. I think this is his third visit.
Rocky brought a “mermaid tail” aka monofin. She plans to play a mermaid for the charter guests. Kate has a Ladies of London issue with her hair in talking heads.
While Emile and Rocky scrub the waterline, Don tells Eddie his new plans for solving an issue with mooring the boat. Eddie says to take it up with Captain Lee only to find out he has already gone over Eddie’s head on the issue. Bade idea. Emile continues to be enticed into misbehavior by Rocky. Rocky totally fucked up the laundry. The crew’s uniforms are all fucked. Rocky didn’t do the ironing. Everyone has the wrong sized uniforms. Meanwhile, Kate spends her time making a brown penis blanket with coconuts for well, nuts. I just wasted too much time looking for a photo of this for y’all. Didn’t find it. 
Kate can’t wait to show off her “palm tree” blanket design. He loves it but it didn’t get a very huge reaction. And we’re heading out of port. Immediately, Don tries to throw the fenders over the side and just “keep them high” rather than storing them. Don has a better way to do everything. Emile and Connie explain that is not their SOP and he says to just do it his way and he will take the blame for it. Dan tells Emile he is just not right for the job. Later, Eddie tells Don to follow the orders of the 1st Officer (aka the qualified person running the deck while the hired actors fake it).
Leon and Kate go at it because Leon wants the guests to catch some fish for dinner. Kate tells Leon to tell the guests he wants them to catch their dinner. He does and it doesn’t go over well. The guests want conch cerviche…and Leon has no idea how to do that.
Rocky whines because the guests want to swim and she has not been allowed to. Kate radios her to remind her to turn the iron off. I hate that I am starting to be on Kate’s side with regard to Rocky. Captain Lee sends the deckhands to dive for lobster and conch. Connie is an expert at that. Leon has no idea how to pull the conch out of the shell.
Once again, the guests LOVE Leon’s food. But did he make it? I never saw him get a conch open. Kate keeps stressing that it’s the fish they caught. Which means he didn’t make it. This is SOOOOOOOOFA KING scripted. Now the primary wants an explanation on how he made the cerviche. I hate this scripted crap. Leon goes out and lies to the guests.
Don got hit by a drunk driver while he was on a motorcycle. He tells this to Rocky as she sets up the next fake scene where she will jump overboard. I can’t with this shit. Meanwhile, Connie complains to Kate about Don’s entitlement issues. Don’s job is half engineer and half deckhand. Kate says he is a great engineer.
Dean requests a black tie dinner. This thrills Kate. All of the men show up in black tie from the waist up, an boxer briefs from the waist down. They seem …um…. overly confident. As men tend to be about their packages.
Leon is great at plating. But apparently he is not cooking anything. Now the guest wants to know what the green puree is and Leon won’t tell them how to make it. Kate makes up the recipe for the guests. Clearly, Leon is making none of this. Did I mention that? Because that is the storyline they are selling. Apparently Leon will turn out to be a mechanic from Des Moines or something with a really good con. Seriously? Do people buy this kind of shit who casually watch this show? Yes. Yes, they probably do. I’m forever disappointed to find out that reality shows are not real. YES I KNOW! I have been watching them since MTV’s Real World season one. That was real God Dammit!
Eddie tries to calm down Don and make him not be such a dick. He switches the subject to Rocky.
Kate questions Leon about how he got started in the food world and he spins tall tales about the QEII. Really?/heavysigh
Connie has two fake teeth that come out.
Rocky sucks at her job. Kate sends her to bed because she just makes things worse. The whole “all the guys are hot for Rocky” storyline is crap too. Rocky gets permission to go for a swim while the guests are off the boat. She performs a little watershow for the boys and Don jumps right in after her. Storyline. Staged. Yawn. Captain Lee is fake pissed. Don didn’t get permission.
The guests amazingly have caught six lobster. This is the set up to discover that Leon doesn’t know how to cook lobster. Meanwhile, Captain Lee wants to discipline Don some more. I really, really just wish I could watch this show like a “normal” but I know far too much about how all this goes down. Don somehow knows he is in trouble and asks advice from Kate. She gives good advice. Don argues with Captain Lee. Don says his boss is Richard. Eddie points out that Captain Lee is Richard’s boss. Don is a moron. That is his storyline. Cocky disruptive moron.
Don quits in the middle of a charter.
Next week: The charter continues. Why? Because they had a helluva time finding new media whores to pay out the ass for a charter disrupted by camera and requiring them to recite lines.
Kate’s face looks odd to me this season. I can’t put my finger on it but she looks different.
I agree. I find it’s really noticeable when she does a like a commentary(or whatever it’s called) by herself with her hair straight down. But like you I’m unable to ascertain what
In her talking head I noticed her eyeliner was different and the bags under eyes were gone.
To me she’s looks a bit older and more tired so I was thinking it was more sh stopped doing something skin/face-wise vs started.
“Kate has a Ladies of London issue with her hair in talking heads.” LOLOL!
The position best suited to Rocky’s skill set, on any ship, is bow sprit.
Rocky would be a perfect figurehead. I recall some comedy movie from the 80s where the figure gal was kinda of alive and a character..that would fit her perfectly. Lol!
I knew it or at least PARTS of it were fake when soulmate charter guest laughed at the penis towel in season two. I really doubt that would fly in the yachting world. But it doesn’t matter, I am turning a blind eye.
Rocky is nuts. Yep. I suspected this immediately. She is there to be discovered and become an actress. There is “crazy” like some of us crazy. And then there is certifiably cray. I suspect Rocky is the latter.
Leon sucks. I would be beyond pissed if I were told I had to catch my own lunch. Fuck that! What is he thinking?!
Did anyone see Kate’s comment about Rocky and her mermaid tail? Priceless!
Rocky is insane, she is very pretty and has great hair but she is twacked! I am loving Kate so far this year, she does know her job. Eddie, can i just watch Eddie? The chef is a dick.
Oh how I love this site! I think I might have a dependency issue now….okay onto the show! I really like this show and it makes me sad that you have been ruined by the truth!, it’s not fair!!!! Kate did have bad hair in her talking heads. Rocky is a dork and annoying! She may be funny and sweet at home but in a work environment……no! Leon is a super ass, and I am excited for him to be gone! Great recap!
@Sherry I am a TT addict as well. The first step is acknowledging the issue, right? Check on Step 1. Step 2 -Share addiction with any and everyone -Check! I don’t share on FB bc I don’t want my family reading what I say about them. This saves me from having to go to therapy:) I do share as much as possible on Twitter! Everyone (that isn’t a WL) deserves some TT in their life!
LOL! Soooooooooooooooo True!
my comments keep getting eaten or something
This one didn’t. Which is good news. But I try to fish out the ones that do! I promise it will happen faster when I am not learning about coding.
thanks, i knew you were having issues so i didn’t get worried until this week. 🙂
Below deck is not entertaining to me, TT. Sorry. No reader for these from me.
It’s like dance moms. I was one of the few in that thread. Oh so sad. I love when I love a show and come here to discuss it. It never really kicked off for dance moms.
I was just saying the same! Its scripted to the point where it’s like watching a Sitcom.
Love Boat Lite
I would love to know how they’re keeping the food flowing if Leon isn’t making it. Knowing the *truth* of what really happens behind the scenes is a loss I’m willing to take! 🙂
Of course, it’s understood you can’t say TT, but it’s got me wondering ….
On #belowdeck, Kate had a keratin treatment done on her hair, that’s why it’s flatter and less flyaway! And she’s very professional and not overbearing like Rocky is making her out to be. Rocky is unmanageable and so is Don, thank god he realized that and quit! The chef Leon is cocky for no reason. Everyone else is fun to watch!
Don is a prime example of why you don’t take a job you think you are over qualified to do. I am tired of Rocky. Cute wears off.
They make a nice pair in a flotsam and jetsam kinda way. Two loose cannons. Which one will Captain send home first?
Don quit. If Kate has her way, Rocky will soon be doing her Little Mermaid act elsewhere, like Davy Jones’ locker and Chef Leo will be singing Under the Sea beside her.
She should knock the mermaid crap off because of the Connie/fishing/gaff thing. So not sexy to hear a man say you catch it I’ll cook it.
This comment is even worse has a cannibalistic ring. Save me.
Rocky was cute? I thought she was a dingbat from the word go. Can’t stand the rolling eyeballs and never focusing on the cameras during her interviews. Something isn’t right with this girl
I liked this show in the very beginning, but it seems very scripted-to the point where I can’t even get into the storyline. I think Kate looks odd…
Maybe her hair? Or the fact that she has had RBF for the first ep?
I have not had time to watch this yet but love the show, so glad you are blogging about it!! Getting ready to watch now .
Unfortunately, for me this show has peaked. It was fun and good entertainment while it lasted. A view of the yachting life but without the glamour. Those jobs may have some perks when you are young, but unless you become a captain, not much real future in the work. As in downton abbey, the “downstairs” folks also seem to show the most humanity.
It seems to me that the script writers and casting Chiefs have been hard at work creating fake drama and set-ups:
– 2 characters, Don and Rocky, disinterested in their official jobs with skills that fit in better elsewhere
– Rocky appears to be either totally untrained (what is expected in laundry, bed turn-down, evening room routines) or so stupid or insubordinate that she refuses to do what she was told…
– don insubordinate
FAKE, FAKE, FAKE, FAKE drama! Bravo you can do better.
While I don’t disagree, Capt Lee looked fearsomely pissed off at Don. Is he that good of an actor?
Rocky exhausts me. So much energy expended with so little to show for it. Not witty or funny, just fucking goofy.
I think she’s doing her job. I had people who work for me say I was mean but guess what they didn’t do their jobs. They didn’t pay attention to training, like Rocky. They bitched and complained, like Rocky. They had to get treated like a child, like Rocky. Unlike Kate I documented the fuck-ups until they had no choice but to be fired. Being a boss is not being sweet and a friend its having people do their job! I have friends I don’t come to work to make friends, you can’t when you are in a supervisory position it makes a mess for everyone.
Nooooo don’t tell me it’s fake!!!!
Sorry.
Connie should never, ever, ever do that thing with her teeth on TV again. Never. Just no.
That was gross!
Leon used some kind of packaged conch for the ceviche. They showed him taking it out of the frig or freezer, pounding it flat/thin and then slicing it.
It makes sense chef doesn’t know how to make so many things if the dude got his training on a cruise ship where variety is limited, and meals are mass produced and repeated. His attitude sux!
There is no way in hell that guy was a chef on the Queen Elizabeth 2. If you don’t know what that is, google it.
If he was the only thing he likely did was prep spending his days hunched over a bucket peeling potatoes. Even that might be a stretch.
I think Kate had some slight injections to her upper lip. Not sure what else. She makes me laugh in her talking heads.
I agree that a lot of things feel very producer driven / influenced. I would not have gone as far as to say there was a script. I’m gullible.
Real World New York … I can still hear Julie and Heather talking in my mind. They were hilarious together. Do you remember how all they shot scenes with the tilted camera to make it seem homemade?
‘You have a pager..do you sell drugs?’ Or something along those lines. Real World hooked me on this genre too. When it was (more than now ) real..ah those were the days.
That was totally real when the chick from Alabama met her first black people and just totally said racist things all the time that she didn’t know were racist and left practically in a lesbian relationship with Heather.
Um unless Heather was the white girl. I forget.
I think Rocky is absolutely drop dead gorgeous, but she is so immature she needs a babysitter. Who goes to culinary school and then signs on to be a stew on a yacht? Where is the career path in that? If she is hoping to be discovered by being on TV, I think she may have made too much of an ass out of herself for that to pay off. Maybe Leon will be exposed as a fraud and Rocky will have to take over in the kitchen until Ben returns. Now THAT would be worth watching!
I am getting tired of the same charter guests over and over. I’m afraid this show is wearing thin quickly. When Cynthia Bailey from the HWOA and crew come on board, we should see some really ridiculous scripting. Is the Eros the boat on which Cynthia kicked Porsha?
I have always enjoyed this show, but I don’t want to see other Bravo “stars” on this show especially the ones with no money like Cynthia. I love Connie already. Rocky makes me want to scream and that Leon is so unnecessarily rude!
If Leon is not a real chef, then whoever is doing a great job of giving him gourmet food to plate up should be the chef. The guests are licking their plates and raving about the food. Oh, that’s right. It’s in the script.
Vet, what on earth makes you think Cynthia has no money? SMH.
Oh shit. That explains why they are pushing the whole Rocky went to culinary school crap. That is exactly what is going to happen.
Rocky the airiest airhead as chef? She’d burn the boat down because she forgot to turn off the stove in the galley. Culinary school does not a chef make.
Leon took the conch out of the freezer.
I don’t know about other men, but my package self confidence is totally justified… Totally!
Most people notice aging in their midface first. Thats why Kate has “bitchy resting face”–loss of volume makes you look mean. Kate most likely had filler (tastefully done) in her cheeks and nasolabial fold to address this.
I loved “Real World”. The first one I saw was New Orleans.
I hope Kate gets rid of Rocky, There’s just something lazy and entitled about her that I find ugly. Her father, on the other hand, sounded wise and as if he wasn’t buying her story.
It may be fake but it got you to type a full page of
blow by blow scenes with multiple paragraphs
Hey Fred! Welcome to my workplace! This is where I write pages and paragraphs about TV shows for a living. Once you learn how to construct a sentence complete with punctuation and proper grammar, you too will be able to type your opinions in multiple paragraphs. By the time you get to grade seven, you might even learn the basic five paragraph theme. Best of luck to you on your academic journey!
Tamera…..too funny on that backhanded comment 😉 On to the show: I agree, the show seems more scripted.I believe on episode 3 or 4 they had a Greek party with the charter guest ,in which Kate uses her “psychoanalysis” ( used in season 2) with the crew, by matching them with Greek mythology Gods.I’m not saying she’s unedcuated, but I just took humanities last semester, and I barely remember the synopsis of all those gods.
Are the crew racist? #!tch face Kate and Air in her hair Amy certainly seem so to me, among others.
Whats the basis for your comment?
I agree. I feel sorry for Leon. Kate is awful.
And just how do we know this is scripted aside from assumption? Has anyone worked on the show or knows someone who has? Curious
Kristan, sometimes when you find a new site, you should know the person whose site you are posting on before you post