I’m not quite over seeing little Kane’s split open head earlier this week. Click here if you missed that. But I am excited for tonight’s episode of Don’t Be Tardy because we have cute babies and the beach in Destin! Let’s see how long this five hour trip takes them this year. Last year the trip was three times longer than it should have been.
We start with another scene designed to make some of y’all clutch your pearls. KJ is outside the property and he buzzes from the gate to ask to be let in. He says “open the door” several times and Kim says for him to say please. So he says, ” Open the fucking gate, please!” Hilarity ensues.
The gang is planning their annual trip to Destin. Kim tries to explain that she thinks the twins are still too little to go to Mexico. Tracey, the best damn thing to happen to this show since Sweetie, says to Kim, “True and the child organ trade there is huge!” I don’t believe a word Tracey says. But then in her talking head she says “truth circle” and well that is like an oral pinky swear so I googled it. And what do you know? Just another reason to avoid Mexico which have unfortunately doing for a few years now. It’s not a place I feel comfortable traveling to alone and even if I did, you really can’t see the real Mexico as it’s only safe(ish) inside the resorts so you may as well be in Puerto Rico or the Dominican Republic (not particularly safe either…).
Kim’s wigs need their own seatbelts so sadly one of the kids has to stay behind. I say leave KJ home alone with the cameras running. A compromise is reached of taking three cars and a U-Haul trailer. Brielle finally gets to bring Slade on the trip this year. He’s driving her Jeep. Tracey is driving a car with Ariana and her friend from school. Kim and Kroy have the twins, and I guess Kash and KJ. Kash seems to get lost in the shuffle a lot.
Kroy’s agent calls on the drive down. He doesn’t announce the team yet. By the time they get to Destin it is dark and the babies are all crying. Kim says the rented a different house this year because last year they were besieged with paparazzi.
Because she called them and gave them the address. The house is huge and has seven bedrooms yet Brielle and Ariana are still fighting over rooms. Apparently, kids today refuse to sleep in a twin bed. Kaia seems to cry a lot. Brielle says she is a virgin. Even Kim does not believe that.
The next day is a super nice beach day! Tracey wants a new tattoo. The ones she has are hideous… some sort of smiley faced stick figure a dove that is bleeding because its wing was cut off (that may have been a skull), some sort of nymph in chains. They are all horrible. So Kim is going to design her a new one. A pink swear is made that Tracey will get whatever tattoo Kim draws for her. Back at the house, everyone draws a tattoo option for Tracey. Slade, trying to design something she likes asks what kinds of things she likes. She says, “gay sex.” I don’t think I could draw that. Slade offers a unicorn with a penis for the horn. Rejected. But Kroy drew a leprechaun with a frying pan in one hand and a knife in the other. We have a winner. It looks like they will wait until they are back in the ATL to get the tattoo.
Shun arrives at the beach. Shun is terrified of water. So obviously a water fight must happen.
After the beach, Kroy pretends that he is moving to someplace cold and passes out snow shovels and winter gloves before he comes clean and tells them they are staying in Atlanta.
Later the gang all goes to dinner at that place that has the live alligators. Kim is not amused. Fudpucker’s that is the name. It is the tackiest thing in Destin. They have live alligators that you can have your picture taken with and it’s a burger joint with games for the kids and stuff. I don’t think it was even there the last time I went to Destin. It sounds like the place is turning into Panama City Beach. Ugh.
I’m not sure if Kim was more freaked out by the alligators or the fact that Brielle wants to be married and pregnant in five years.
Next week: Kim and Kroy go on a double date with Tracey and her girlfriend.