I’m thinking this is the finale which means it will probably be a good one. They aired it right before the VMAs started. Britanny is a stay at home mom of three. Bryon is a hot military guy. If you believe his photos are really him, but I don’t. He’s hot and young, and well, she has a tribe of babies. They talk on the phone everyday but he will not video chat. He says he has PTSD and horrible flashbacks. Usually, guys don’t openly share that sort of information. I don’t have a good feeling for this one. Perhaps, those three babies won’t be getting a guy with flashbacks and PTSD for their next daddy. 🙁
“Bryon” is really hot. Ha! Nev basically says, ” have you considered that this guy is way out of your league?” Nev is getting a little more brutal with these people as the seasons go on.
The boys start their search and quickly find out that Bryon is not the hot Marine. SHOCKER! They figure out that the phone is listed to a girl named Heather in Kentucky. But this “Heather” person doesn’t seem to have a Facebook. They need to ask Brittany if “Bryon” sounds like a girl.
Nev calls “Bryon” but there is no answer. He left a message but he is already gearing up to fly to Kentucky. Because ambushing someone who is pretending to be a Marine with PTSD is always a great idea. On the drive back to the hotel, they get a call back from Heather who claims to be Bryon’s sister. Heather says she is calling them back because she doesn’t think it is a good idea for him to be on TV right now because he’s been through a lot and is going through a lot. Nev tells Heather everything they know and she says she has no idea what Bryon does online. They phone is registered to her because they have a family plan. That’s all cute but why is she answering her brother’s phone and returning his calls?
Nev decides to just head to Kentucky, because clearly production has already gotten the Catfish to sign a consent to film. Yet, the catfish is texting Brittany saying he can’t do it. Later, the catfish says that he lives with his parents and does not want them getting involved. He suggests they meet at a relatives house. They should take the back alley to the back of the house so that no one sees them. Oh, this sounds like a splendid plan.
They gang finds the alley and Nev and Max walk into the garage of some strange house. Nev knocks and then opens the door on his own saying, “hello? hello?” We go to commercial before the gunshots ring out. When we return, I am shocked that no shooting has occurred. Instead, we see Heather. I’m going to guess that Heather is a butch lesbian. Heather does not sound like a dude at all. Brittany is a moron, or faking this whole thing. Britanny is very sad that the person she introduced to her kids is not a guy with PTSD and flashbacks.
Heather tells her sob story about living in a Kentucky and being a lesbian. I am more compassionate about the fact she is wearing a puka shell necklace that she has carefully matched to her plaid shirt on national television in 2015. I mean I get she is in Kentucky, but they have to be at least living in 1999 by now right?
Normally, this is the time that Nev suggests they meet again the next day, but frankly, he wants to get on a flight out of Kentucky as soon as possible. So after they have individual breakdowns the two girls are reunited. As Heather is retelling her story of the trials of being gay in small town Kentucky, I have an epiphany! You know how I am always talking about how clean these places are when the cameras show up? Well, first I thought they just sent in a maid service. But what they do is send in a whole staging crew. There is no art on the walls ever. Nev explained that when they go to hotel rooms the room always has the same picture on the wall because they bring it with them. It is one that the producer painted. Apparently, you can’t even show pictures without some sort of copyright thing. That is why everything looks so “clean.” Every doo dad and book has been removed. Everything is moved out but the furniture basically. Now it all makes sense to me. Finally.
Anyway, back to the show. They talk for a bit and Britanny leaves not hating Heather. Two months later, Britanny says that she has had no contact with Heather. I have no idea what Heather said because Catfish likes to run the end of the show right up to the hour mark so the DVR cut off. Let’s assume Heather is just fine.