Million Dollar Listing San Francisco Recap: St. Louie Blues

Andrew

We start this episode of Million Dollar Listing San Francisco with a new neighborhood, Tiburon. My God! San Francisco is just one cute little suburb after another.  I should really try to visit there sometime. Tiburon is a peninsula 18 miles north of the city. Apparently, Sean Penn, Hughie Lewis and George Lucas all live there. So basically, normal people can’t afford to live there. Which is okay I guess because we all know they will all die sooner or later in an earthquake.  But let’s just enjoy the pretty little town while we still can.

Andrew has a client there with an obnoxious kid named Louis. Which is pronounced like the handbag creator of course. The house is ginormous. I don’t like the house, but I love the property.  The owner wants 18 million. For once the broker says it is underpriced and could easily bring in 20 million. Louis on the other hand wants more than 20 million. The mother finally listens to Andrew. It’s his biggest listing ever. But Louie is going to be an issue.

Andrew goes to meet with the seller but she has flown off to London and left Louie in charge of the real estate negotiations.  Louie says he got mugged and they broke his jaw. His mouth is wired shut. Andrew tries to use that as a reason to reschedule but Louie is ready to move forward.  Andrew wants to do private showings but Louis wants to have a rager party.  The house has lousy curb appeal, by the way.

I can’t imagine anyone who owns a $20 million house wanting to through a party so that mobs of strangers can drink and stumble around the property, but that is exactly what is going to happen. The word “liability” is echoing through my head, but apparently I’m the only one with an issue.

The tour is sort of a disaster. There are way too many people there. They can’t hear. Then Louis shows up and starts taking over the tour. The seller should NEVER be at an open house. EVER. Then Andrew rides a decorative bike into the pool. And Louis loses his mind. Not stage at all. #eyeroll

Justin

This week Justin is working in Cole Valley, a neighborhood right in the center of San Francisco.  His listing is an old firehouse built in 1909.  I want this property. It’s a duplex.  It’s gorgeous but the drawback is it’s kind of like Sonja Morgan’s apartment. It’s on five levels.  Those adorable windy stairs would get old fast. The seller wants 4 million and that is way too high. Justin lists it for $2,995,000.

Justin holds an open house with firemen and firewomen passing out champagne and a lot of runny cheeses. But you know what people don’t like after drinking and eating runny cheese? Lots of stairs.  Justin meets with his client later to give her the feedback on the house. There are too many stairs. If there was an elevator, there might be a buyer. The seller will not lower the price. But she is an architect who will create some renderings of potential renovations and price them out for people to consider.

Roh

Roh’s listing is in Potrero Hill on a cobblestone street in the middle of the city.  The owners are interior designers so the house is flawless. It’s very masculine contemporary.  It has a Japanese garden.  Roh has another realtor making the introduction to the listing. He wants to list it lower than Roh does. Ut oh. This is bad. You want your realtors to present a united front.  The agents go with their friend at the lower listing price of $1,295,000. Roh wants to get them $1.45.  That’s really not a big difference. I bidding war would get Roh’s price easily.

The sellers are a gay male couple who are moving to a more family friendly area because they are adopting a daughter. Roh has some personal beliefs that make him uncomfortable with this concept. Despite being a victim of bigotry himself due to his Muslim religion and appearance, he is still struggling to be accepting of those with different values.

Roh talks to his wife about the conflict he is having. His wife is way more accepting about it than he is. His family is way more conservative.

Roh meets with his clients and the baby. She’s adorable. the dad’s have finalized their adoption. For some reason Roh feels the need to share his personal beliefs with the clients. I find this whole scene unprofessional. So the guys tell Roh about their experiences.  So, Roh has an epiphany.

Then he has an open house. Some of the rooms are not that impressive. Roh tells everyone it will sell for way over asking. Then Justin walks in with a client. Last week, these two just continued to butt heads. I wish these two would just get along and direct their dickish behaviors toward Andres instead. Justin is insulting the property in front of his own buyer. No one does that. No. One.  Roh decides to go after Justin and his sales ability or lack thereof. A major altercation ensues.

This was a strange episode because nothing closed. But the beautiful city makes this a must watch Million Dollar Listing franchise.