I just can’t stop watching this messy show because you just never know what sort of fresh stupidity you are going to get. I can only remember one or two happily ever after shows and even they were suspect. I will never understand why reality shows simply must get faker and faker as the seasons progress. I’m pretty sure there are enough legitimate online idiots out there without resorting to manufactured ones. And yet.. here we go.
Is that Kanye West on my TV screen? Please make it go away.
Max is not there AGAIN this week. Instead we have Todrick, the guy who sings and dances and makes videos and was on Dance Moms. I sort of love him. Tonight we have a random looking white guy named Devan who delivers pizzas and a white lady, who seems much older to me than the 23 years she claims, called Rylan. They are both in Texas. They’ve been “online dating” for over a year and they have never video chatted with each other. Um, duh. Devan seems like he could be the bonafide idiot I am looking for. Todrick is very into all of this and totally up to the job of being Max.
The boys go to meet poor naïve Devan whose heart will soon be stomped on for all of us to see. Devan says that he went to meet her at her aunt and uncle’s house before she moved and they told her that no one by that name lived there. Rylan played it off by saying the uncle didn’t know who he was so he just lied. Welp. Rylan is a big ole Liar McLiarpants.
Nev and Todrick to a quick search and all the Rylan’s they find are guys. They trace the phone and find a girl named Cassie who is 18 and has a criminal record for car theft and evading police via a car chase, debit and credit card abuse and a not very pretty mugshot. They do a photo search and find that the picture belongs to someone named Savannah who seems to be engaged. Is he talking to the crimimal? Or the cheater?
It looks like the Savannah chick is living at the address where Devan sent his hundred dollar bill for gas. The boys head over to Devan update him. He says that Rylan has actually had some trouble with the law. I guess he didn’t think that as important enough to mention. Todrick is the best guest host this show has had by far.
Devan is kind of reluctant to follow through. But, Nev makes the phone call to “Rylan” with the usual results. Time to go to Austin!
Once the guys get to Austin, Savannah has contacted Nev. They set up a Skype call so that Devan can be there. Savannah says she has never spoken to Devan and has no idea who he is. Savannah says that one of her neighbors told her that some girl named Michelle was using her photos to talk to some guy. Michelle used to live with her neighbor but she moved. Meanwhile Rylan texts and they rush off to meet her at her friends house.
When they arrive at the house, “Rylan” is afraid to talk to Devan. She asks Nev to come in alone. So he does. Because clearly Nev has never watched that movie about the Craigslist killer. I’ll never get over how pristinely clean these house are. Clearly, I am a pig.
Speaking of, Michelle is not being shown on camera yet but it is clearly that she is a big girl. She is worried about Devan’s reaction. This appears to be one of those, “everything is true except I am not the pretty girl in the pictures” sort of catfish.
She agrees to go outside and meet Devan. She is a sort of cute girl who seems to be at least partly black. She is not a personal trainer, but at the time she told him that, she was working in a prison. He did go to her uncle’s house and she was hiding inside at the time. Todrick gently reads Michelle the riot act. She cries and says he was always there for her.
As per the scripted format, they agree to meet again the next day.
On the day two meet up, Michelle says her dad has like 30 kids. Literally. More than 30 kids. I think Michelle is pretty. I love her hair. I hope Devan gives her a chance. Michelle is struggling with being mixed and wants to be white. Michelle reads Devan a letter. Aw, I love Michelle. She is the sweetest catfish ever. Devan says he still wants to be her friend, but the romantic part is lost.
One month later, Devan says they don’t text much anymore. But he still keeps in touch with Michelle. Michelle cut her hair! NOOOOOOO! It may be a hat. I hope so. I loved her hair.
Next week is the season finale. Those are always good. I could swear the commercial says it is coming on SUNDAY at 7 pm. if so that is odd. But I’ll be recapping it.