I had no idea this was coming on at 8 pm tonight. In fact I just saw it recording and stopped it because I thought it was a social edition of last week. I was busy watching The Donald Trump Show which is currently airing on every news channel on cable. It’s mesmerizing. The news channels are handing Trump this election. Anyway, on to the show.
I am over the Carole and Adam argument. Carole says this was never a problem with Luann. Luann admits she didn’t mention it. Let it go people!
Finally, on to Dorinda. Andy LOVES Dorinda. Dorinda doesn’t work she inherited her husband’s business which she sold when he died. Hannah doesn’t watch the show and isn’t thrilled that social media talks about her. Dorinda says Hannah is more reserved like her father and not really into the how show thing. Bethenny keeps jumping in to answer for Dorinda. THAT’S interesting. People bring up John’s less attractive points, he wants his business on the show (Bethenny of all people brought that up), he is a bit “handsy”, and the bottom line is Dorinda is happy with him and everyone needs to shut the fuck up. Kristen’s big moment on the reunion thus far as that a drunk date of one of the housewives got a bit handsy with her. Is she twelve? Every woman on earth know how to deal with these situations. Dorinda is like, so did you call 911?
I’m finally paying attention to Kristen’s boobs. Apparently Josh bought them for her last year. I hate to bring this up at such a sensitive time but they are laying down on her just like my old, sad, tired, real boobs do. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?
Heather takes over the whole beating up on Dorinda thing. They have been having a Twitter war. Heather says that Dorinda has it out for her. Dorinda is dismissive. Heather doesn’t like it when mommy and mommy fight. Moving on to the fuck you dinner. Kristen suddenly sticks up for Heather. The whole left side including Bethenny says that Dorinda has a different personality after five dirty martinis too many. Even Bethenny says that Dorinda is lying about not being drunk. Dorinda was clearly drunk. I do not understand people who are not embarrassed when they get drunk and do stupid shit. I do it all the time and spend the next 48 hours cringing and apologizing. And I am not even on film! How can you see yourself in a drunken argument and deny you were drunk, Dorinda? Dorinda and Heather agree that they can probably work it out.
I have never seen such horrible wardrobe for a reunion EVER and I include RHONJ in that! I like Bethenny’s and Sonja’s and I am okay with Dorinda’s because she gets the “Sopranos” pass. But my goodness at the rest of them.
Andy says that he loves how sexually free they all were this season. Sonja says she had a nice long run with Dominick, the gay dude who was 24, almost nine months. Girlfriend, I’ve had gay flings (and internet marriage) with gay men for over decade. I’ve “dated” the hottest gay guys in the school for the entire school year. I get letting people think for the sake of being a beard at work that it might “be something.” But this is just more of your delusion.
Who is this gay man who Luann is being accused of doing in the bathroom. Is it that TV guy? His name is Eric something. Forgive, I’ve been doing back-end work on the blog all day and my brain is fried. Help a sister out.
Bethenny says she is in a good place, she has a daughter and a career, and she is dating and psyched about it. Bethenny says she doesn’t want a guy who would be psyched about being on the show, her new guys have no social media at all.
Lots of joking about Carole and Bethenny being sexually attracted but nothing happened.
I’m sorry. I keep getting distracted by Luann wearing a Christmas tree skirt. She looks like she need as cigarette.
Andy points out that Ramona and Luann are sitting next to each other for the first time in seven seasons. Which is interesting to me because Andy always swears that the seating is not pitting sides against each other when it is abundantly clear that is exactly what it is. AND the HBIC of each side sits closest to him.
Talk about the new Ramona. Ramona admits she had her boobs done. She says it is all in her book. Ramona says she wants to apologize “in all sincerity” about shutting Andy down about her divorce last season. The whole left couch mocks “in all sincerity” and Bethenny says she should trademark that. #catty Give the woman a break. Andy says she wrote a lot in her book about what happened with Mario. Andy says that Mario blame the show for breaking up the marriage. Andy talks about how in the book she talks about busting him in their Hamptons home with another woman (suddenly this book sounds good). Ramona says she went there to see him in the Hamptons to talk to him because they had not spoken and things were bad and even though he said not to come, she went. She knew in the back of her mind the bitch might be there. She was not looking at the …”what is the Jewish word? minutia?” (damn those Jews for stealing all the good words, like minutia. Can I not say minutia now since I am not Jewish? UGH-uh). Anyway, she arrived and the bitch was in her kitchen, and she told Mario she stopped by to get her contacts. Ramona says it was a horrible moment and everyone is very sympathetic, especially Kristen who seems horrified at the thought. Bless your heart, Kristen.
On to Luann supposedly being mean to Ramona about her divorce and pointing out how young the mistress was. Luann says she never like Mario. Luann says at some function a photog was trying to get her attention for a picture and yelled “Countess, Countess” and she heard Mario say, ” Don’t you mean ‘countless'” and that was very hurtful for her.
Even more about Ramona and her fake new beginnings. Bethenny says that Ramona’s constant apologies don’t work for her. Andy brings up #DressGate Ramona says if Bethenny wants to think she stole them then she stole them. Bethenny tells a whole long story about how Ramona stole the dresses. It sound true. Bethenny says that she sent her assistant to retrieve the dress but Ramona would not answer the door. She had sent the assistant to give her a dress to replace the one she needed to retrieve. Bethenny tells the whole story about Ramona saying the first dress “must have fallen out of the car.” I had a sister-in-law who did the same damn thing to me about a sweatshirt when I was like 18. She stole my sweatshirt. Then she claimed she didn’t have it. Then she said she wore it out and threw it away. Ramona’s response just reminded me of that whole event. Liars. It’s clear Ramona stole the dresses.
They talk about whether or not Ramona has changed. Bethenny says that Ramona called her a cheater. She says it’s a nasty quality. Bethenny says she knows where all bodies are buried for Ramona and she needs to shut her fucking mouth. Bethenny says she has never cheated on either of her husbands.
Next Week: More drama and Sonja says that Madonna was at her fashion show. Amazing how the cameras miss THAT.