We start off this week of Project Runway on a Celebrity cruise ship. I’ve never been on a real cruise. I did run away from home once and ended up in Florida where I took a $99 day trip to the Bahamas. I won a bunch of money in the ship’s casino. I hated the dining hall personnel though. I was traveling alone and they kept seating me with families with kids. They expected to be tipped for seating me at horrible tables and bringing me a glass of tea. Um no.
But this looks mighty fancy. The designers have to pick a cruise destination to inspire their looks this week. They have to work in pairs of two representing seven destinations. Teams are chosen by the dreaded button bag. Teams are, Amanda and Gabrielle who choose South of France, Ashley and Candice team up and choose Venice, Lindsay and Jake team up to pick Hong Kong, Laurie and Swapnil choose India, Kelly gets stuck with Blake and choose Greek Isles, Homeboy Edmond, who has immunity gets paired with Hanmaio and they choose the Caribbean, which leaves Joseph stuck with Merline in St Petersberg. I assume the title line of this episode will be screamed by Joseph at Merline, repeatedly.
The designers seem quite pleased with their fabrics. I think they are all very LOUD. Oh okay, all of the solid colors are in the sewing room. Blake hogs all the solid white fabric even though he doesn’t need it all. Lindsay and Jake are not getting along. Lindsay wants to do a kimono even though Jake pointed out that’s Japanese, not Chinese. Hanmaio is not communicating with Edmond. Edmond wants to do a swimwear outfit. Hanmaio is not listening. Hanmaio told homeboy to shut up! Candice and Ashley are getting along great, but I hate their fabric and they are using all three patterns. Blargh. Tim tries to tell Hanmiao that they in fact do need swimwear. Hanmiao is unhappy. Lindsay is doing all the sewing while Jake sort of gives up. Hanmaio is a hot mess. Edmond makes a swimsuit because hers is a nightmare. Edmond’s is awesome. But Hanmaio takes the model into the bathroom and sews the model into he suit. It’s hideous. I expect the model to have a major wardrobe malfunction.
Tim hates Jo and Merline’s look. He says it looks to matronly. A hush falls over the sewing room at Tim dropping the “m” word. Have I mentioned how fugly all the fabrics are?
Candice and Ashley (Venice) love their floaty top and pants. I am not thrilled with the top at all. But the judges faces light up. Oh wait, the back of the top is AMAZING. The team is proud of their work.
Swapnil and Laurie (India) They did a peg leg gray pant and a bright stripe short crop top with sort of a sari type wrap. It’s nice.
Lindsay and Jake (Hong Kong) their outfit is bright and shiny. It’s nice despite all of their fighting.
Jo and Merline (St Petersburg) It’s Joseph’s design and it remains matronly. Even I would not wear it and matronly has become the new classic meets boho chic in my closet.
Hanmiao and Edmond (Caribbean) Both of them hate the look. Clear loser. I’ll miss Hanmiao.
Amanda and Gabrielle (South of France) I didn’t really even see this garment worked on. It’s black pants a white top and some oddly places striped fabric. I imagine it will sail through as safe but if there is room on the bottom, it might belong there. Dear God. I just saw the brestical region of the shirt. What the hell? It’s a mess. Bottom three for sure.
Blake and Kelly (Greek Isles) This white jumpsuit in the front, flowy blue floral full length skit in the back is the first thing that says winner to me. It’s not great but in this lineup, it’s the best of the bunch.
My top three: Blake & Kelly, Ashley & Candice and Swapnil & Laurie
My bottom three: Hanmiao & Homeboy, Amanda & Gabrielle and Jo & Merline.
That leaves Lindsay and Jake safe, so I am probably wrong because they had a lot of air time to just float through.
WAIT WHAT? Kelly & Blake are in the middle and safe? Seriously? I hated Blake last week and they put him in top three and this week they leave him out of top three with what I thought was the best piece!
Judges Top Three: Lindsay & Jake, Ashley & Candice, Swapnil & Laurie
Judges Bottom Three: Hanmiao & Homeboy, Amanda & Gabrielle and Jo & Merline.
The judges LOVE the Venice look. I really like the pants. I am not feeling the floral cape. They love the India but they are not thrilled with the pant. Lindsay and Jake bicker about how much they hated working together in front of the judges. Tracee is like me, she doesn’t understand the shorts part.
The judges say the Carribean look is hideous. It really is. Jo says that his style is matronly. That is who he is and who he sells to. At least he owns it. When the cape comes off you can see the dress is horribly fitted.. Jo throws Merline under the bus. Then he backs up and runs over her a couple more times. The South of France look is called out for its horrible fit and boob problems. The judges are really pissed at Edmond. But it’s not his fault! Back off my home boy!
The give the Venice look to Ashley and Candice and they give them both immunity. I really thought Swapnil’s was better. But I love Ashley and Candice, so whatever.
Hanmiao was sent home. I will kind of miss her. But she was a bitch to work with.