We begin with great news. Heather has agreed to retire the word “holla!” from her vocabulary. Carole is already rolling her eyes at Luann. Apparently, Dorinda got a call from Hillary Clinton’s campaign office or something saying that Hillary is a fan? I’m not really sure as my DVR hiccupped at that particular moment in time.
We begin with the return of Bethenny this season. We get a crying montage. And a dancing montage. And a get off my jock, I’m bored with this montage. Bethenny is still not divorced. Bethenny says that of all of the drama she has had in her life this is by far the worst. Carole says that she has been there at the court appointed times for phone calls with Brynn and that Jason would not pick up the phone. Bethenny implies that Jason is fame hungry. Bethenny stays by her homeless comment. I personally don’t think it was official.
Heather claims that LuAnn was not happy about Bethenny’s return and intended to “bring her down.” Carole and Heather say that Luann made a toast saying just that at a luncheon. Luann says they are lying and she doesn’t remember it. Luann’s dress is hideous. Heather appears to be wearing a green silk bathrobe with an exposed black bra. Perhaps her dress was lost? I love Bethenny’s white top with black sequined pants.
I can’t even really recap this. It’s just a bunch of back and forth about nothing. Heather is so over Bethenny.
Time to talk about Sonja’s issues. I love her gold dress. Heather is still pissed about not being allowed into Sonja’s house on the way to the Atlantic City trip. Heather says that was the end of her relationship with Sonja. Even Luann agrees that leaving everyone outside is wrong. Sonja says she had a crush on Carole. Andy asks if she is bi. Sonja admits to the occasional dip in the lady pond. Everyone talks about Sonja’s drinking. Everyone expresses concern.
Carole is asked about Sonja claiming to party with Jon Jon Kennedy all the time. Carole says she gets that Sonja was drunk and it was kind of a fun thing to say maybe but, it wasn’t funny to her. Carole says first of all, no one who knew him called him Jon Jon and for her to say that she partied with him was odd because he didn’t party. Sonja vigorously argues that he was her friend and they partied all the time. Carole says it is inappropriate to talk about someone’s family. Luann makes a snarky remark about respecting family.
Time to bitch about the Adam situation. Carole is still dating Adam. Carole says it is nice and it’s not terribly complicated. Luann claims that her niece was still seeing Adam when they started dating. Carole denies that. Then we talk about Luann sleeping with some kid in the bathroom. Luann is very upset and apparently having a hot flash. Bless her heart.
They talk about Luann saying Carole doesn’t have children as an insult. Carole talks about Luann having sex with some guy named Alistar in the house. He was 21, yells Carole. And Sonja, dear Sonja, jumps in with” Everyone who did Alistar raise your hand!” and grins from ear to ear. I loved Sonja and her comic relief this season. Everyone tries to deny doing Alistar. Luann admits to skinny dipping with him, but that is just you know, the European way of dealing with things.
Next Week: Ramona talks about divorcing Mario. Ramona stealing Bethenny’s dress comes up AGAIN. And more completely irrelevant arguments.