The Dance Moms reunion did not tape for me, so I am going to recap while watching on demand. This means no real ability to pause without going through all sorts of di-dos. So I’m gonna assume you saw it and hit the highlights.
Why do they think this is the most controversial season in the history of Dance Moms? Just because Nationals was a bust? Abby is texting everyone telling them not to show up to the reunion. But everyone is already there. Except for Abby. Abby goes straight to the set with a folder of evidence that she has no problem hiding under her ample bum.
Oh, that annoying host guy is the executive producer. That means he is the enemy of Abby who got a very negative edit this season. Abby is asked what she thought about the Nationals results and she brings out a piece of paper from her folder that just says FIXED! Abby is refusing to speak. Holly says that it is unfair to say the competition was fixed. Holly said that Abby and Melissa looked like sore losers by walking out. The host points out that Abby is friends with the owner of the competition.
Jenette, (aka the new Cathy) comes out to discuss nationals. She was literally on screen for two minutes. I usually fast forward through these repeat dance routines. Sadly, you can’t do that on Demand. Oh wait, you can. But just very, very slowly.
Jill brings up the problem with the lack of dance classes due to all of the traveling. Abby says they should have been practicing on their own.
We get a montage of Abby being mean to Jo Jo. I’m bored. There are way too many flashbacks to episodes and not much reunion talk at all.
Next a montage of Abby being mean to Kalani. Abby denies being so rude to Kalani. Even though we just saw it replay again.
The host brings up Abby being kicked off the show for a week. Everyone agreed that Abby needed to be removed. We still don’t get any new information on why exactly Abby was removed from the set for a week. Drugs? Alcohol? General breach of sanity? We may never know.
The other ladies all say that Holly has gone all Hollywood and is no longer a Pittsburgh mom. They seem jealous that Nia did so many things while they were in LA. Holly calls Jill a liar. Holly gets frustrated and turns to the director and says she is not going to sit there while Jill says Nia skipped a lot of school when she didn’t. Holly threatens to walk off the stage but is coaxed back.
Nia’s video was shown at nationals. This is the first time we saw the video played at nationals. It’s a really good video about being yourself and having confidence. There is a fairly large girl in the video dancing and having fun and Abby, of all people rolls her eyes and makes a face presumably during that scene. Oh, Abby. There is creating drama for the show, and then there is just being a cunt.
Abby says that it’s bad for Kalani to see her money have a baby out of wedlock. So the baby daddy walks out and everyone goes bat shit crazy including Abby as if this is the greatest man in the world. Of all the Dance Moms Kira may be the least excited to see him. That seems so weird. And so he proposes right then and there because nothing is more romantical than a reality show reunion proposal. Not surprisingly she said yes. Abby actually records the proposal on her phone. She said yes! Kalani comes running out and hugs Abby first and then her mom and future step-dad.
The host asks Abby if she will be living in LA teaching all summer now that her studio is open. Nope. She is going to Panama with Maddie and Mackenzie to do some classes and then back to London, Ireland, Australia, Dubai and South Africa. So um, why did she open a studio then? Abby also says that her junior team is ageing out and it is time for her to start a new chapter in her life. No one is really sure what she means by that. And I’m not sure how much I care. I will say that Abby doesn’t generally work with teens and there have been online audition calls for new dancers for the show. So I guess we shall see.