Oh hey! It’s a glamorous housewives fashion show episode! These always go off with out a hitch! I can hardly wait.
Heather and Carole meet at a very crowded bar to catch up on the trip to London. Carole says that it was really great to talk to a fellow widow. Carole had a bit of trouble getting through customs when the bag the urn was in was pulled for a special search by TSA. Turns out there was a tube of hand lotion in there they didn’t like. International baggage inspectors can be very thorough. Heather tells Carole that Ramona was a slutty, rude , angry bitch at Bethenny’s infomercial last week.
Bethenny shows up at Sonja’s pre-fashion show meeting that is being held in a conference room rented for the day. Bethenny wonders where the company is headquartered. Sonja of course has not bothered to arrive yet. Bethenny is informed it’s a casting call for the models. Bethenny says in a talking head that is not her wheelhouse, she all about the branding and the marketing plan but she has no idea about models. Is it possible that Sonja doesn’t know what she is doing? Bethenny is wearing the most dreadful black shirt with a giant bow on it I’ve ever seen. It seems like something from the Nene Leakes collection. Sonja arrives and loves the hideous look which only serves to confirm my opinion of the whole fugly ensemble. Bethenny is pissed that she had to wait for Sonja at her own meeting. Sonja doesn’t care.
OMG I was already off to a late start because I dropped a huge glass in the middle of my kitchen floor at 9:02 and it shattered everywhere. Now I’ve had to pause to collapse into a fit of hysteria as Sonja says she is going to debut her clothing line at New York Fashion week. Sonja and Nene really need to hang out. At least Nene has a fashion line with actual clothes allow her to put her name on a line and call it a day. Sonja appears to be doing everything herself. Heather shows up to help too. She will do better with the models. How are they going to have models walk in this tiny conference room.
Sonja insults the first model. Bethenny and Heather call her out on it. Sonja says it’s perfectly normal to point out the model’s qualities that make them unusable. She gets mad at Heather for saying she was insulting the models. All of this bitching is happening in front of the second model. Heather basically says, you asked for my help and if you don’t want my input I can leave.
Sonja does a talking head saying Heather always has to be the smartest business woman in the room. Well, Sonja, she does a clothing line quite successfully and just the other night I saw her on MSNBC giving business advice to aspiring entrepreneurs. You on the other hand have a clothing line with no clothes and your foreign team has no idea who your competition is or what part of the department store you feel your clothes should be in. Bethenny and Heather are speechless.
Ramona stops by to see Dorinda and goes into 43 stories at once. One of the stories seems to be that Ramona has the hots for an Italian restaurant owner. Dorinda tells Ramona about how the trip to London went. Dorinda was happy to face returning to London without Richard. She feels like she can return to London again now without all the grief. Dorinda’s phone died and John got worried after not hearing from her so he called the hotel and had them do a welfare check. That was actually very sweet. But enough about Dorinda, Ramona has a lot more to ramble on about regarding getting divorced. Ramona lists her very many positive qualities to Dorinda and then hits on the waiter.
Did you know Kristen has a nail polish line called Pop of Color? Somehow it is part of fashion week as well. Carole’s skin reminds me of George Hamilton. It’s the dead of winter and she is brown as a scoop of dark chocolate ice cream. Kristen’s polish is on all the model’s in Elie Tahari’s fashion show. There is an Elie Tahari at Phipps Plaza in Atlanta and it’s very fancy pants. I’m impressed.
Sonja’s Fashion Show
Sonja is missing three models. The seating assignments have not been done. Sonja pretends like she needs seats for buyers from all the top department stores. I already have some sort of major malfunction happening in my abdomen that I should be getting checked out. All this hysteria is rather pain now. Sonja screams at all of her interns as the bow their little heads in shame attempting to go along with the ridiculous storyline. Sonja I late getting ready. Wow, that never happens. On the bright side we have ten models. But do we have any clothes for them?
The girls arrive and Heather points out that she doesn’t see any buyers she knows on the scene. Heather knows all the buyers in NYC. Are the spectators all actors? I’d bank on it. Sonja is wearing a jumper with her boobs falling out. Is that even a piece from her collection? Ramona comes in wearing a dress that she stole from Bethenny and acts like it isn’t. Bethenny calls her on it. Ramona says she can have the other dress she stole back. I guess she didn’t like it and would like to return it for a full refund. Oh wait. Then she invites Bethenny to a party she going to throw called “new beginnings.” Bethenny points out it is a stupid idea after she tries to get Ramona to explain the concept. She tells Ramona she should call her party “old habits.” Bethenny is pretty quick-witted, I have to say. Or at least she appears that way around these dolts. Bethenny is really pissed at Ramona for multiple transgressions that she has done over and over. The whole “new beginnings” party has driven her over the edge. I anticipate Ramona getting a full on ass reaming before the end of this episode.
Meanwhile, Sonja is yelling at hair and makeup at the last minute saying that all of the models are not styled property. She wanted chignons ! Why is their hair down! I want to know why she put the red head in orange. Sonja also hates the red head in orange. I finally agree with Sonja about something. Sonja is screaming at the stylist.
The show is late getting started. The line comes out and it is a really pretty line. But is it Sonja’s? I am not an expert on her website, but I don’t remember any of these on her site. There was a HUGE gap in the middle of the show as the models have to be restyled. Bethenny and Ramona make use of the time by arguing. Apparently, Ramona has been telling everyone Bethenny cheated on her first husband. Bethenny says it is not true, she has nothing to hide. Ramona says ten people told her that Bethenny pretends to be something she is not. Ramona starts the weird apologies. Bethenny also brings up insulting the bartender at her infomercial. And then the two stolen dresses. Bethenny has a lot of issues with Ramona. Ramona says she will pay for them. Bethenny says fine, write a thousand dollar check to Dress For Success. Bethenny says that Ramona has not changed and there are no new beginnings happening. Ions pass. Civilizations crumble and the second half of the fashion show has still not begun.
Finally, the second set begins. Again, nothing looks familiar to me. It’s lovely, but I’m suspicious.
Next Week: It’s the season finale? Wow. John proposes? Sonja is mean to Kristen. Heather is rude to Sonja. Bethenny is rude to Ramona. And more.