I’ve got spies that are beyond obsessed with Vanderpump Rules. Their endless periscopes and Instagrams will literally tell us the whole season at this point. Me? I’d rather just watch the season. Well except when they get arrested. Anyway, here are some excerpts from their tea.
” I think Stassi is single and living with Kristen. I’ve noticed Kristen tagging Stassi on certain things and talking with Rachel, Kristen’s best friend. On her latest podcast, Stassi mentions she’s at rock bottom and moved out of the Venice Beach shack (Patrick’s house) because of “air conditioning”. Hmmm. She stayed last week at a ” single friend’s” house (in the past she always names the friend) and has only 2 outfits. Rachel is the podcast guest and mentions she’s seen Stassi 6 times in the last week. Stassi then talks about going out on Sunday with the friend she’s living with. They were going to meet a guy who the friend met in DUI class (guess who has had a dui? Kristen). The story continues with them breaking into a friend’s house or something and they found a Bravo Shotski in the house so Stassi felt she was ok. Kristen posted a picture of the Shotski on Twitter on Sunday. So hmmmmmm. Looks like she’s living with Ms. Doute. Could this mean a Vanderpump Rules return for her?”
That was a podcast piece of intel. The periscopes are much less informative. They are like the husbands I never had. We are both at the breakfast table reading the news, “Kristen drinks a lot.” “MMMMHMMMM”. Pause. “That ring is fugly and not a real diamond.” “okay.” “Isn’t this something about one of the housewives you like to talk about?” “oh, yeah, that happened last month.” I keep getting A ZILLION emails from the periscopers. They don’t seem to get we didn’t watch what they say and give no recap.
This is maybe Kristen’s boyfriend and his name might be Mike and she might not have put him on periscope by accident but I am not sure even though I am watching everything they do. Oh and Kristen may be living alone. James seems to be rooming and hanging out with Lisa’s boy Max.
It’s all a million things. This just an example. The podcast people are able to give a recap and the periscope people are just sending fits and bursts of shit that don’t make sense.
Much like this post. But I just want to clear out my inbox of the sources.
So talk amongst yourselves.