Okay, I saw that Meghan was dying her hair pink, but…really? WTF? Is she trying to relive her high school years? And I don’t have any idea who the other guest is, but she is first chair? ROFLMAO. I totally forgot this was happening tonight and I spent three hours watching The Bachelorette and drinking so, be prepared for a really fucked up recap. You know, as if the others are normal…
Andy’s intro is about Wham, Bam, Thank You Man and both guests are married to baseball girls. Andy is already making fun of Meghan’s pink hair. The bartender is from Quiet Riot and friends with the Dubrows.
Andy then mentions that Leann has died, less than a week ago. And yet the little gold digger is still there.
Next a cunt montage ending with the “classy as fuck” comment.
Meghan plays a word association game about the other housewives:
Vicki: Manipulative (probably the longest word she knows!)
Tamra: Loyal (BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA sorry. Excuse me)
Shannon: Kind hearted (WTF? Please tell me Shannon does not make up with this trashbox)
Heather: Ummmm Motherly? ( that is shade according to Meghan. Interesting)
Andy stops the game. Interesting.
Tamra tweeted” I didn’t say Vicki called Meghan a gold digger, but if the shovel fits…”
Questions for Meghan:
Why are you such a cunt to Shannon especially after all she has been going through? Okay like I just speak the truth. I’m like a truth cannon and shit. I don’t think I am being hard on her. I’m new to this crew and…it’s not easy to fit in with this crowd! Andy interjects, “Well you said she had judgey eyes tonight” (really, that is the worst thing this cunt satchel has done, Andrew?) Well, like OMG, like what were they? Meghan leans out of her chair, stares Andy down and says “What is this?” Legal disclaimer: Some of the cunt satchels answers may be modified to make her look even worse than she does. The bottom line is she never addressed the question.
Why did you die your hair pink? Well you know Leann passed away just a few days ago, you know that woman who raised Haley and I am her step mom, so like I was thinking, It’s just hair! You can always Dye it back! It’s Fun! And nothing says fun like a funeral, so you know, WOO HOO don’t forget about me just because wife number one died. I’m like wife number three! I’m step mom! Life is short! Carpe Diem! Legal disclaimer: This response has been slightly embellished!
Is your marriage portrayed accurately on the show? (OOH it’s an answer carefully question for future employment) Andy goes on to basically say that it seems like your husband HATES your skank ass (um legal disclaimer: paraphrasing to include my opinion) You know what? I think it is portrayed accurately. What you’ve seen is us at the beginning of the season moving and in the middle us trying to figure out how to deal with time spent apart. That’s really taxing on our relationship but we try to make the most of what we have together.”
Did you think it was appropriate for you to share the fact that Hayley was on birth control with the whole world? ” I mean she is 17 years old. I don’t understand the problem with it. This is not 1953. (Andy interjects to say the point would be that it is HER information.) “Oh I see what you are saying. I’m not sharing her sex life.” DEAR GOD GO AHEAD AND MAKE IT WORSE. YOU JUST SAID YOUR 17 YEAR OLD STEP DAUGHTER YOU HAVE KNOWN FOR FIVE MINUTES HAS A SEX LIFE. STUPID CUNT SATCHEL! She goes on, ” Um, I’m sharing the fact that I had a conversation with a 17 year old that is appropriate about sex!” And she is clueless.
Some idiot caller who is a Meghan fan (um really) asks how she feels about Vicki attacking her marriage to the gay (um IMHO NTTAWWT, ALLEGEDLY ) husband? She says clearly it is a deflection from Brooks. I can handle it and it’s not going to end soon.
LOL Best game ever. Both chicks are married to pro baseballers. Andy is going to ask them BB trivia until one gets three strikes. I bet they suck at this and whoever goes first will lose. They flipped a coin and Meghan went first and lost. Andy gives them both WWHL thongs. His game gifts always speak volumes as to what he thinks about his guests.
Oh the other chick is on Astronaut Wives. I watched that until Food Fighters started. I love Food Fighters.
They show a sneak peek of next week when Vicki points out she is four years into the marriage and thinks that Hayley should view her as a second mom. Meghan says… I’ve been in the kids life for two years. Um wait a minute, didn’t you marry Jim as soon as the ink dried on divorce number two? He took his mistress around his kids? She is crying saying she wishes they were her children and Tamra says, “But you’re not” Finally, Tamra’s mouth comes in handy.
I hate Meghan.