Howard Stern seems to love Brandi. Right away Brandi says that Eddie pays her $1170 a month in child support. Howard asks if the producers ever give her feedback on their performance. Brandi says that the producers will pull her aside and tell her to “do something” to cause some drama.
“Last year was a really tough year for me because, I felt like I played ball. I gave my all to the show! Then when it aired I felt like…Oh my God, they did me no favors in the editing room!I got really upset and a little depressed. ( Howard interrupts) Yeah, I’m like I played ball, cut me some slack! But… you don’t get a say. They don’t care. They’re making a show.”
Howard asks if she ever pulls the other HWs aside and tells them look don’t take me seriously if I slap you or whatever, I’m trying to keep the show interesting. Brandi says she has only done that with Yolanda they are friends outside of the show and she gets it. She says she will only be coming back for “a little bit” next season… Howard interrupts again before Brandi can explain whatever she was going to be doing a little bit of. It sounds like Yolanda will have a limited contract with a few episodes where we keep up with her health and Brandi will stop by. Howard is a big interrupter. I want Brandi’s mouth to just keep running.
Howard interrupts with “So wait, you’re not fired?” And Brandi is all like so let me clear this up because there are paparazzi outside her door all day. Um, noe. Noe there are not. YOU DON’T HAVE A DOOR ANYMORE! YOU ARE HOMELESS. So here come the lies. Brandi says she didn’t want to come back to the show because she “took so much heat” and “I was doing all of these things to my detriment that I could not explain.” Yet on Ross Matthew’s Podcast in early June, she said she was still waiting on her contract and she hoped to get to do one more season. Brandi is having a hard time keeping her lies straight.
Howard asks her what she means by doing things to her own detriment. She says throwing wine in people’s faces. I don’t know why I did that. I slapped Vanderpump (she giggles) I really don’t know why! She says “At the end of the day, I got so much heat from social media…” Howard interrupts, “Are you cracking under the pressure?” Brandi says, ” No! I have so much more on my plate than this show! So having said that, I talked to producers…I really didn’t want to come back. I have other offers to do other things and I said, listen, I will come back if it makes sense, if it’s with Yolanda or of it’s with Kim. Otherwise, I don’t talk to any of the other ladies, and I don’t like them.”
Howard says that Kyle and Lisa Vanderpump are very vocal about their happiness over Brandi’s departure. He asks her if she thinks they threatened to walk if you were not fired. She says, I can see that happening, but I don’t have any proof. UM, WAIT! I thought you said you were NOT fired. I thought you said you didn’t want to film with them? Brandi goes on to say that in the past they have both said they didn’t want to shoot with her. Howard asks how that works exactly. Howard does ask good questions, he just interrupts the answers. She said that Lisa did it to her a lot in her first season because she those she was friends with Cedric. If they don’t want to shoot with her they just don’t come to the shoot. (Like Nene did for most of last season)
Howard says what do you think about the two of them saying there is no way Brandi walked away from the show. (Well I think they are just using basic common sense, but Howard didn’t ask me.) Brandi says “They don’t know…. and this is why they are cunts…I am in the process of moving trying to find a house for me and my two children, and no one will rent to me because they don’t think I have a job! ” You DON’T HAVE A JOB BRANDI!. Brandi says she has ten jobs and a new show that she can’t talk about yet and a development deal with “a really big network” She then seems to realize that she kind of admitted that she was fired so she says, ” So it didn’t make sense for me to come back full-time!” Um, you are homeless and it didn’t make sense to you to keep you actual PAYING job? Okay. Then Howard asked her about money again. On their first interview she got in a lot of trouble for mentioning her salary. She made $16,000 for her FOH season and $136,000 for her second season. Now she is claiming that she made more than that last season, which is true, she should have gotten two pay bumps since then. She claims she would have made around half a million for this season if she had come back fulltime. But you know, it just didn’t make sense for her to do that. Because getting drunk and going to parties and being a bitch is just so hard to do for a few months to get half a million dollars. Howard makes her guess what Kyle and Lisa make and she say maybe around a million, she doesn’t know.
Howard keeps blowing sunshine up her butt telling her she was the star of the show, he asks if the show will be okay without her. Oh, Howard. Please. Brandi says,”I think the show will be successful but it will be different. It’s just going to be completely different.” Howard interrupts to talk about how boring it will be with out Brandi being the asshole. Brandi says maybe they hired a new asshole. (Once again confirming she was fired) Howard said “Shouldn’t they stay with the asshole they know?” Brandi said something like “You would think…I mean, it’ll be interesting to see who turns on who. You still have to make a show”
Howard says to Brandi “You hate those women” and Brandi says she is not a big fan of the word hate, because there are some women on the show she does hate. Brandi tweeted last night that she could make a coffee table book out of all the Cease and Desists she has gotten about going on Howard Stern. She mentions that she got “legal papers” from people about being on the show. He asks from who and she says Kyle. She says the ladies are so self important, as if they just know she is going to talk about them. Um, you are talking about them. Brandi says they all need to get over themselves they are on a reality show and “shit’s gonna get said. Get over it. They want all of the good stuff but can’t handle any of the negativity.” She told a story about Lisa Rinna using some male employee that she hires (I’m thinking hairdresser) and how she was telling the guy to tell Brandi all the things she can’t say about her on TV. Brandi was talking about having skeletons just before this. Brandi apparently told Kim whatever “Harry did” if I am understanding this right. With Kim and Brandi off the show, this likely won’t be an issue.
Howard asks if it is worth doing a reality show. She says the show pretty much saved her life and if she had not done the show she would not have these other offers. She was asked if the new offers are reality shows. She says they are. Howard says so she would leave Bravo and go work on another network. Brandi says she can’t say. Howard says so it IS Bravo. It does sound like she is talking about getting her own Bravo show, but she is also saying she was not fired. So… who knows.
Howard talks about Andy Cohen. He asks Brandi if Andy likes her. She says, ” That’s a really good question. I sometimes wonder if he does cause everyone thinks we’re really close and we’re really not. I think that people think that he’s best friends with all the housewives. He definitely has a few that are his real friends, but I don’t know if he likes me. It’s a question, cause I can’t kiss ass, it’s not in my makeup. Every other housewife, they all kiss his ass.”
Howard asks if they ever have tea and talk. She says they have sat down together once, he’s always been supportive but compared to how he treats some of the other housewives, she’s just not sure. Howard asks if the problem is her telling him to fuck off at the reunion. She laughs and says that is not the first time she has said that to him. She says when she gets pissed off she doesn’t care if it is Oprah, she is going to tell them to fuck off. Howard asks if reality TV is dangerous….has she ever gotten so angry she could just get into a fist fight with the other women. Brandi says, “Yeah, I thought of it when one of the grabbed my arm (Kyle) I thought, I’m going to fucking knock your teeth out! ” Howard says so it’s not like professional wrestling, this is real and not planned out. Brandi says it’s totally real.
Howard asks if she gets anxiety before filming with the women. Brandi says that she was not going to go to the reunion last year and they said fine, we will just keep your last check. Which is interesting because RHOBH used to be the only show that was paid in a lump sum and I wondered how they managed to force them to the reunion. Perhaps Maloof’s non-attendance was what changed that. Andy seem FURIOUS when she didn’t show up that year.
Howard asks if she is a millionaire from being on the show. She says, no not at all. It’s more money more problems. She has a lot of lawsuits going on that are very expensive. Howard says perhaps she went too far with Joanna Krupa. Brandi said it has cost her $54,000 in lawyer fees. Brandi says the only other two people to send her legal documents were Kyle and Adrienne Maloof. Both of those were just letters. Brandi says Kyle is a bitch and a horrible, horrible person. She says Kim is a sweetheart who is in rehab.
Howard asks one last time who cut ties with who on RHOBH were you fired or did you cut the strings. She said it was both. Because she just can’t admit that she was fired. You can quit after you were fired. She says they still want her to come back “here and there.” Howard says, “So you won’t be coming back then?” and she stutters and stalls and says something like “Well I said if it makes sense. Like if it is something with Yolanda or something….” So basically she asked if she can film with Yolanda if she feels up to it but the other ladies won’t film with her.
Brandi says she is back to 2009, she has a nice car, no place to live and a latin boyfriend who cheated on her and all of her money is tied up. She has come full circle.
They talk about Leann and Eddie and she says they all get along fine now and they sit together at recitals and stuff.
Howard says is there really a TV show? She says she has six meetings and six offers. Some were with production companies and that made her nervous because you have to shoot some and try to sell it. So she went the safe route with a network. You can tell even Howard doesn’t believe this. Basically, this is the usual fired housewife exit statement, ” I decided to focus on other projects and I will be on a new show very, very soon.”
They talk about her vagina surgery. Howard asks if it is still tight. She says it is but she did date a black man for awhile. Howard asks who she is dating now. She talks about how she and JR keep breaking up and getting back together. She says their sex is great but they can’t really stand each other otherwise. Howard says she dates the wrong guys. Then we get lots of stories about sexual things Brandi has done. Which was pretty much everything. She admits that she is not on birth control. She admits the black guy with the huge penis was Mehcad Brooks. He’s hot. Howard asks very detailed questions.
They keep trying to wrap things up Brandi says it will be interesting next season because the rich bitches won’t do anything to mix things up it will be boring. Brandi asks how to make money on the radio. She says she has doing her podcast for two years and makes gas money. He says you can’t make money on a podcast. Howard again points out that she has lost a half a million dollar job. She admits the new show is not a done deal and it won’t pay like RHOBH. Howard says he will get all the RHOBH and Andy in a room and she needs to beg them all to let her come back. Brandi just confirms that Yolanda will be an FOH next season. She says she will just film with her.
Brandi just said, she was all ready to leave until the law suit was not dismissed and then “she was like okay one more year and they were like ummm not really.” So FIRED. JUST SAY IT BRANDI. They fired you and you begged your way back into a few scenes with Yolanda if she can even film. Brandi mentions how thin Lisa Rinna is, she says she is way smaller than she is.
They keep faking me out that they are going to shut up. I am so sick of this, but I am afraid of missing something.
And it FINALLY ends.