I can’t possibly skip recapping this trainwreck. I have to stay plugged in for another 30 minutes. They had Luann stand up for this photo and I thought for sure it was to so the absurdity of Luann’s skirt length, but I have a feeling it was because they are trying not to show Luann’s twat. Tonight it is Sonja’s turn to be Luann’s “snatch guard.” Who knew that would happen.
Andy brings up Ramona’s rudeness to the help and the yellow bikini. Andy plays a montage of Ramona apologizing. She really does do it a lot. Andy asks the ladies if Ramona got a boob job. The girls won’t answer so that means yes. I rarely even notice women’s boobs unless they are hanging out.
They play a clip of Bethenny’s intervening with Sonja. Andy asked her why she wasn’t listening to Bethenny. Sonja says last year they said she was all over the place with her business and going to lose her house. Now she has a huge line of luxury blah, blah, blah and she is still in her house. Both of those statements are debatable. Check here for the latest on her house. She puts just as much weight in their opinions this year. Sonja denied several times that she has issues with alcohol.
Amy Phillips does a great imitation of Sonja. Luann says she are Carole are “cordial” when they run into each other. Which means they are not speaking. Luann will be singing the song on a float in the NYC gay pride parade on Sunday! So regal. So classy.
Luann says her song is about an incident that happened on Turks and Caicos where a couple of the girls broke girl code.
Sonja is asked about Ramona and her swimming in the lady pond. She says no but they missed a bunch of stuff two years ago in the Berkshires when Ramona was mixing booze and pills and got a little flirty with her.
Luann and Jacques are still friends and her ex husband is at her house at the Hamptons right now. Luann is friends with all of her exes. Luann offers to fix Sonja up with the Count. Luann’s daughter will be performing with her.
Sonja is asked if she is ever embarrassed. She says she is embarrassed every week. She gets the disk every week and doesn’t watch it until the night before the show airs because she feels like she gets picked on a lot. It’s hard for her.
The doorbell rings and it’s Dorinda there to hear Luann sing! OMG let’s do this. I can’t wait!
Luann’s daughter looks stoned. Luann is lip syncing. DAMMIT! The song is beyond autotuned, it’s like techno or whatever it is called when the voice is made to sound like a robot. Disappointing. I stupidly thought she was going to sing.