The ladies are going to a cupcake party decorating party at a cupcake store. This is Bethenny’s idea. the Skinnygirl versus Ramona’s Pinot starts right away. This is apparently a promotion for the cupcake store, and the women’s booze and yet another opportunity to discuss their vaginas and what they do with them publicly on national television. Then Sonja says she is about to pay off her $7 million dollar judgment and another couple million in attorneys fees. Um, didn’t she just declare bankruptcy over the judgements? That is not really “paying them off.” So she invites everyone to Turks and Caicos.
Sidenote: Every woman who lives in NYC and is on TV has been pushing the HELL out of Turks and Caicos lately. Kelly Ripa can’t mention it enough on her show, this show, it seems like it is the new Phillipines of travel destination promotion desperation. WTF is going on there for this major push to be necessary? Red Tide? Oil Spill? High murder rate? It’s all a bit much.
Luann meets up with Kristen for a shoe store promotion. Since they are already on a reality show during this commercial, Kristen tells Luann about#PopOfColorGate. Luann sticks up for Bethenny. Kristen’s storyline is “why doesn’t Bethenny love me?”
The next commercial is for Balzeen. A restaurant/bar. During this promotional activity Carole tells Bethenny she had as sex dream about her. Carole says she had the dream about Bethenny because she needs to loosen up. Carole tells Bethenny she did rat her out to Kristen. In her talking head, Bethenny tries to backpedal about what she said about Kristen. Bethenny is fine with Carole blabbing to Kristen about what she said. I see a sixty-nine session in the future for these two. I wish I didn’t, because MY EYES. Two anorexic New York bitches just don’t do it for me.
The next commercial is for a photographer’s studio. Kristen joins Luann for some sort of shoot. Real or by Bravo is unclear. The topic is that everyone has adjusted their schedules and their kids schedules for the trip and now Bethenny is saying the dates don’t work for her. Heather, Ramona and Bethenny show up. Bethenny has her crying fit when asked about the trip dates. She will miss a recital. She will be away from her kid for 21 days out of 30. Cue the meltdown. Well, Bethenny, if you are so concerned about your child instead of getting paid to advertise your product…. no one is forcing you to do this ridiculous show for obscene amounts of money. Life is about decisions, and you can’t sign a six figure contract to work and then say you are not going to work because you are a mother and still expect to be paid. Bethenny is going for the first three days of the trip.
Bethenny dries her eyes in time to say that Luann’s photo shoot made her look like she was doing a stay free Maxi-pad commercial. Nice.
Sonja has to have twelve interns and a stylist to pack for a four day trip to the beach.
Now it’s time for another commercial. Some restaurant called Parkside. Bethenny, Luann and Ramoja are the four leads for this one. The night before everyone went out and Sonja got drunk and hell and made out with two different guys. Then she blacked out all over the dry cleaner. Park Side is in Queens. It’s Italian. Everyone is concerned about Sonja’s drinking. I got distracted by all the Italian food. The girls are going to observe Sonja on vacation and assess the situation. The ladies, except for Luann head to the restroom to perfect quietly vomiting up dinner.
Bethenny and Ramona go for pedicures in NYC in winter. Ramona wore boots. How does that work? Down here we wear thong sandals to the salon year round. No one puts their toes in a shoe for several hours. Bethenny talks about how she doesn’t have an issue with Kristen. But clearly Bethenny has an issue with Kristen. Bethenny took 30 minutes to explain the phrase “bros before hoes” to Ramona. But Kristen is the dumb one?
Oh the modeling thing was to launch Luann’s fashion collection. Dear god. Now we are having a party for the launch. Luann’s kids showed up. Reluctantly. Carson Kressley drops in. Luann makes all the guest carry mannequins down to the party. Because, Luann. All of the limbs didn’t make it.
Dorinda, Heather and Kristen talk about how much of a mental mess Bethenny is. Kristen has on a lovely gray sweater dress and everyone makes a snide comment about it. So nasty, so rude. Ramona is mean to Kristen. Ramona says that Kristen attacked Bethenny at the modeling shoot. Ramona is drunk and obnoxious. Luann tells her not to boss her around in her suite. Ramona calls Kristen dumb. Heather stands up for Kristen. Kristen storms away.
It’s ten PM and it’s still hot as balls in my house.
Next Week: Bethenny leads the charge against Kristen.