I am happy to announce that Kim Jung Un has taken Tootsie’s place in the Tomato Therapy Program. Of course if something fucks with his plants he just kills the gardeners. But still. He makes the TamaraTattles Tomato Therapy Enforcement Department (TTTED) happy. WHY? Because he has a good attitude about the perils of gardening. ICYMI: We are talking about our gardening dramas here. Mostly.
I’ve got cheat tomato ( I don’t count the ones that came on my bush goliath as ones I have grown from the beginning until later in the season) number two in the window. I’ve had one BLT off it already! It’s sort a hard (not super juicy tomato) yet still good tomato but the other plants won’t give a real tomato for weeks prolly.
My Cherokee Purple is FINALLY not just dropping it’s stupid blooms and making fruit now that we have sun. And now that it is hot as fuck I don’t want to water anymore. I NEED to get my faucet fixed outside so I don’t have to carry water.
I got my giant linen clothes from mojowoman. I actually wore my geranium painter’s tee in size 2 for Ginonrmous today with a pair of black yoga pants to Publix for a 20 minute trip and hung it right back up. It was SOFA KING hot I actually got sweaty. I HUGE so I think most everyone should go with size 1 Ginormous in the future. 🙂 But I like a roomy top. And linen.
Now if you will excuse me, I am OBSESSED with “Spidermania Solitaire” It comes with ooky spiders that I hate but they go away once the game starts. When it rains hard here, my phone and Internet go out. I then don’t know what to do with my hands when I watch TV. So I quickly downloaded it before a big rain. Clearly, the last thing to go is your brain on this slow track toward death. It has an easy game, (which ain’t THAT easy) and a “normal” game which I have beaten ONCE in like 20 or more tries. And a hard. I may never try the hard version. There are a lot of versions out there I am playing on from Gametop that seems to have no ad or ill effects and is free. I have yet to try to see if it actually works offline. I need things that happen offline. But this game says YOU FAILED! mid game because the game (computer) can see eleventy billion plays in advance and knows I am a loser. A very, very, dumb loser. 🙁 And a masochist because I am off to play again!
I hope you all have a great week. Let me know how things are going! xoxo
I am very proud of myself. I cleaned one of my desks and paid all my bills. Then, I took my son shopping for new clothes for college. He’s starting on the 22nd! The last time we went clothes shopping was about 5 years ago. He was still so ill and just getting him to Old Navy took was a struggle. He tried on a tee shirt and a pair of shorts and then we had to go because he was not handling things well. I grabbed a bunch of shirts and shorts in the same size, paid, and he’s been wearing those ever since. Today, we went to Macy’s and spent almost three hours trying on real shirts and jeans. He’s been going to the gym three times of week, so he’s beginning to get some muscle. The clothes looked great. He tried stuff on, came out and showed the boy friend and me–decided what he liked. Was able to buy five nice shirts, not tees and two pairs of very cute Levi jeans, one pair black!. One time when he came out, this little old lady was standing beside me and said, “Oooh he looks good.” It was so cute. I am really proud of him and so relieved.
Little Kyle got more water and plant food. She’s about 6 inches! No flowers yet. Lisa Vanderpump has a lot of tomatoes, but all green still. Waiting patiently with my bottle of Dukes. I know TT is probably going to send assassins to kill me, but I am going to make my BLT with veggie bacon–I like it better than real bacon. (Goes into witness protection.)
I’m so happy about the boy, I’ll let you slide on the turkey bacon. I mean you are from out west. 🙂 And you went to trouble to buy Dukes. So happy to hear a good story.
I taught at an historically black college (more than once but this was) my first year out of grad school. It was an open door school. On the one hand NO ONE THERE was college material. But OTOH neither was anyone at some other open door colleges I taught at. I was the mama to all my advisors. I remember taking one shopping for clothes on my $19K as DEPARTMENT HEAD (we later found out the school was stealing from the NAACP funding we NEVER GOT) because he literally had nothing. I loved it but my mother was PISSED. My parents sent me money because I had student loans and my exuberant story of taking a kid shopping was NOT amusing. Fuck we spent like I dunno a few hundred. HE HAD NO CLOTHES.
I would also be an easy touch for buying food. So Angel (that was his name) would come in and say he was hungry and I’d buy food for any of them. So Angel comes in one day around lunch and talks with me very seriously as his advisor. He tells me that he is Muslim now and he will not eat pork. Apparently, this was the extent of his religious knowledge. I shared that I lived in a Muslim country and ate very well, he can enjoy lamb, which is delicious, goat, beef…. etc. I was Very supportive of all the times throughout the day he would be praying… I think that is a good thing. (he started to look confused) and I said, being in touch with God whatever you refer to him as, is a good thing. Blank face.
Then he says he is hungry so I offer to buy a pizza. He wants pepperoni.
Um.
uh.
er.
So I tell him that he is Muslim and Muslims don’t eat pork.
And he says…
Pepperoni is pork?????????????????
and I say yes.
And he says he does NOT want to be Muslim anymore.
true story.
The pizza was great though.
On Mon, Jun 15, 2015 at 1:40 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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That is too funny!! So good you were there for him. His name being Angel was poetic. Leonard Cohen could write that one into a song.
Tamara, you have lead such an interesting life & I love when you throw these tidbits about yourself in comments for us. With as much as you’ve experienced, you’d think you were about 100. I think you need to write full blog posts about these experiences. I love reading about your life as much as your recaps! Maybe more… We need the Tamara Tattles’ Diaries! Thanks for sharing with us!
Aww…love both of your stories. I can’t get my son to shop. I just keep buying him same Kakis in tan. It is like a uniform. Lisa, happy to hear about your son, really great news. My tomato plant is getting blossoms, I hope that is a good sign, have a great day!
Thanks, Dee. Kids and shopping–almost impossible even when they are healthy! Woohoo on the flowers!
I am not sure if I mention it in my post of blatherings last night, since I reply from email but I am obsessed with my new free download Spider Mania Solitaire ( there are lots of these apparently mind is from Gametop. It’s like IMPOSSIBLE to win and I came SO CLOSE on my first try this morning. UGH. I tried to google for hints. Because there is a timer that I don’t understand the point of, and clearly I am doing something wrong, but apparently more than half the games are unwinnable from the start! So frustrating.
Anyway. I gots the anxiety this morning and it’s making me all rambly. If anyone knows any hints for spider mania solitaire, let me know. 🙂
On Mon, Jun 15, 2015 at 12:53 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I also love when you share your life with us. You are really kind. I am moving FLAX and my “rich wrinkles” I found a cute jacket on EBay. We should all get t-shirts that say. “Tamara’s Tattlers” 😉
Great story
Love Lenard Cohen!
Great news about your son Lisamia.
I am so jealous of all you northern hemisphere peeps doing your tomato therapy. I have seasonal effective disorder big time down here in Oz. My 6 yr old saw me watching the petomato vid and now he has it on a loop. I still don’t know how u grow tomatoes in a soda bottle but I have that damn song in my head 24/7
Dang, his tomato plants are taller than he is! Mine drown.
Yep lots of kinds of fuzzy leaves. â
On Mon, Jun 15, 2015 at 5:38 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Sequoia, I watch Devious Maids and Unreal. Love them both. I’ll check out the other two. Thanks! â
On Mon, Jun 15, 2015 at 12:07 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
> Yep lots of kinds of fuzzy leaves. â > > On Mon, Jun 15, 2015 at 5:38 AM, Tamara Tattles [email protected]> wrote: > >>
Me two. Yes, to Tamara’s tales of travel, teaching, and tricks.
What a way to start a Monday morning! I needed that laugh. Think I peed a little too. But it was worth it. I also have little green tomatoes on my plants and my basil is lush and gorgeous! Can’t wait to dig in soon.
TT I love your stories and that you share pieces of your life with us. As with any great storyteller, they allow us to go on a short mental “field trip”. I appreciate that more than you’ll ever know.
Angel (?) if the plant is rogue, and has fuzzy leaves it’s probably a cucumber plant. Cukes are the wild children of the garden and will not be tamed. They’re delicious when they are little and come right off the vine. They have a flavor that gets lost when commercially packaged and “refrigerated” which is, of course, an abomination.
Happy Birthday Month TT <3
The fruit looks like little round tomatoes? I can’t imagine how a rogue plant just popped up there.
Photo Caption “oh looky, there’s a hookworm on my tomato plant. Maybe my prisoners will eat protein tonight.”. Evil man.
Ohhh that was baaaddd. Explains the two guards giggling though.
Here are four TV shows that I’ve become obsessed with and I highly recommend my fellow tattlers to check out. All four are On-Demand for you to watch from the beginning, but no worries if they’re not.
The First is “Devious Maids” on Lifetime Television. The show follows the lives of Latina maids and the troubled lives of their Beverly Hills employers. It’s a very tongue and cheek drama-comedy that Bravo’s scripted TV shows keeps trying, and failing, to create. The show has it all, including bondage, murder, sex, humor is well written, treats it’s Latin cast with respect and the cast includes Susan Lucci! The show airs on Monday 9 PM
The Second show called “unREAL is also on Lifetime on Monday night at 10 PM. The show is a behind-the-scenes look at the chaos surrounding the production of a dating competition program. We see how production goads contestents into fights, one educated black woman is told to go completely Nene Leaks if she wants to get ahead on the show. If you like reality TV, and who among us doesn’t, you will LOVE this show.
I’ll post about my other two favorites (neither of which are on Bravo) in another post so this one isn’t too long. Is anybody else watching these wonderful shows.
Yes, I love Unreal.
I’m addicted to both shows, I absolutely adore them. I agree with you that these are the type of shows Bravo keeps trying to create but fails miserably. I did watch Odd Mom Out on Bravo last week and am going to give it another shot as it wasn’t too bad.
The second two shows are on CNBC.
The First is called “The Profit”. On each episode Marcus Lemonis offers struggling small businesses capital investment and his expertise in exchange for an ownership stake in the company. Lemonis has a dry humor, does these deals on a handshake, doesn’t scream or yell but there is no doubt who is charge. Some of these business owners are totally clueless and we, the viewers, aren’t sure whether or not Marcus will follow through with the investment or if he will wind up walking away. This is a smart show which will keep you riveted for the entire hour. It airs on Tuesday nights at 7 and 10, depending on your time zone.
Last but not least is called “Consumed, The Real Restaurant Business”. The show follows five businesses at a crossroads, fighting for their piece of a multi-billion dollar industry. The series follows the money as these hot and not-so-hot spots work tirelessly to make a place for themselves in the culinary landscape. The show has no celebrity chef saviors coming in screaming and yelling at the owners to get their shit together and making them look like fools. I love this show and hope you will too.
Is anybody else watching these shows?
@sequoia ~ I’m not sure if anyone around these parts have ever used the term ‘tattlers’ in the manner that you did, but I always think of it like that in my head…”Tamara’s TATTLERS”. It sounds so cute somehow, and obviously very appropriate, so I really liked that you gave voice to what has been rolling around in my head for the longest time. NOW, I wish I had used it before you did 🙂
PS My apologies if another of Tamara’s TATTLERS used it before and I missed it. Sometimes I pick things up subconsciously, and it’s floating around in there, and when it finally takes root, I think I had the original thought…until someone points it out and then I grudgingly have to remember it THEIR way (and no, I don’t have dementia…not that I remember anyway 🙂 )
PSS Therefore, today I decree that I am a TATTLER…that is, if TT will let me 🙂
PSSS I just realized I ended every single paragraph with a smiley face. Oh well, in for a penny, in for a pound 🙂 🙂 🙂
Our relationship is not unlike my off line husband. He thinks for me too… or so he thinks. 🙂
I really like The Profit and find Marcus’ backstory interesting (a Lebanese child adopted by Greek couple, mentored by Lee Iacocca). And it’s on my list to watch unReal — thanks for the reminder.
Especially good tea today, Tamara. His plants look great; don’t they? Where can we hire a team of North Korean gardeners?
Enjoy your down time from here. It sounds as if you’ll be pretty busy, so I was happy to hear that you scheduled in quality time with your boy, Banjo. (BTW…dogs are either aggressive, biters or shaking piddlers at the vet. I’m pretty sure the vets were referring to the dog’s everyday life.) You bring so many smiles to my life!
Anyway, enjoy the rest of your birthday month!
Do y’all remember the Reverend Sun Myung Moon? I recall some comedian mentioning that his face looked like a half-baked hamburger bun. I believe the Korean dictator sprung from the same bakery…
Where is Stephen, Micheal, Captain Eel, ClassyLady80, oops, Tootsie, Katz, sorry if I misspelled and I know there is more!!
Miss you peeps.
and … Tobaccorhoda(sp), [email protected](jamail) or TeeCee66 oh and Psylocke.
I’m here and now worrying about a storm I wasn’t worried about. And wondering what happened to the older commenters. *sigh*
Kim Jong Un was probably having someone executed outside the view of the picture and was yukking it up. The other guys were probably told to yuk it up with him or they would be next 🙁
Tootsie – watch out! Tropical storm is a coming. I hope all of you in the Houston area do not get too much rain.
Yep – I’m gathering up the animals and the magic tomato plants and going into the ark. When will it ever end?
Be safe, Toots! It looks like it will get bad. I suggest getting out of dodge if it’s not too late already. Seek higher ground.
On Tue, Jun 16, 2015 at 5:24 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Hey, can anyone remember the housewife that said she held funerals for the other housewives in her head?
You have had me thinking about this all day. It’s just on the tip of my brain.Now that it is down to 76 degrees at 1 am maybe my brain will start to work.
Didn’t it happen at a reunion? Was it Brandi?
On Wed, Jun 17, 2015 at 12:10 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Dina Manzo, can’t remember if it was WWHL or the reunion.
YAY! THANKS! MZJule IT WAS DINA.
She said it first in a blog here. http://s17948.p858.sites.pressdns.com/2014/08/12/rhonj-blog-round-up-does-amber-deserve-a-second-chance/
See last line of Dina’s blog.
And she was also asked about it at the reunion last year. Perhaps in the third part. 🙂
On Wed, Jun 17, 2015 at 1:09 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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